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[CLKD]

I hate anyone here over-night, they only have to shift in the bed or go to the bath room   

I have also stopped visiting with friends, I haven't the energy right now.  Get next week's trip out of the way and I will be more relaxed ......... 

[Babylon Burning]

Me too, but I've always been that way so I cant blame the meno.  I'm just an anti-social old bag 

This is me!

[Elena]

Ah right I see HB, though you did say you didnt think they liked "us" so I took that to mean all of you!  Maybe you wont see them at all if you keep out of the house as much as poss!

It's the sleeping over I cant handle.  I have to take sleeping pills if anyone comes to stay, apart from daughter of course as I'm used to her. 

[Limpy]

HB if you are away when they arrive that sounds perfect.
You HAVE to get sorted out after your holiday. Oh and see your mum, so you CAN'T possibly go running around after them.
Result!

[kes]

I really identify with this thread.  I told my husband a year or so ago, that I am not doing any more parties, I just hate them.  I would rather sojourn in hell than spend hours balancing a drink in one hand and a plate in the other talking to some boring person about the price of houses.  Ugh!  Talk about lose the will to live.
I do enjoy getting together with a small (and I mean small) group of good friends for lunch or coffee.  But I am not very social, and it has got worse over the last few years.  Or maybe I have just had more confidence to state my preferences and to refuse to do things I hate.  A bit of Jenny Joseph's "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple" etc.

[CLKD]

I think we learn to say 'no' more often.  I have put off meeting with friends this week because my anxiety levels won't allow me to 'fix' anything.  I have suggested the week after B Holiday but if my anxiety is still up I will put off again. 

[Lucky Stone]

Yes kes, quite! When I think of the hours of my life I have wasted doing stuff I didn't want to do - sitting in nightclubs or boring parties  trying not to keep looking at my watch. Maybe some of this is that we recognise time is shorter now and we have to make the most of what is left. It is interesting though to read others saying that they are not as sociable as they were - I'm not sure I was ever that sociable, I just pretended to be. Chatting to my doc about the visit (she came in the shop), I said it had been a strain and she intimated that I should be careful not to become "isolated" but is that really possible in today's age with the internet? I actually LIKE being on my own and always have. And here I am chatting on here. I do appreciate her concern but think she's missed the point - the last 2 days have been sheer bliss 

[Joyce]

Nothing wrong with wanting the quiet life. I prefer it. Have a friend who is always off seeing friends & relatives. She seems to thrive on it. Hubby & I have always kept ourselves to ourselves. I've got a handful of close friends, nearest relative apart from son, who is only about a mile away, is my brother and he lives 4 hours away.  I don't feel isolated.

[LizeeeH]

me too
I find when guests come for sunday dinner a nice bottle of red eases my grumpiness

[honeybun]

I think we become more self contained as we get older. We care less about making an impression or whether other people like us or not.

We were always out and about when we were younger but now rarely go anywhere.
To my shame when we first moved here our neighbours who my OH  vaguely knew invited us in for drinks. I have yet to have them round to us and we have been here a while now. They are nice enough but apart from living next door we have nothing in common.
I would rather not bother......that sounds terrible.

If we have a busy day then after dinner I am happy to put on my slippers and get my feet up.

Honeyb
X

[CLKD]

We did all the swapped dinner parties in the 1970s/80s because we were finding our feet - less freedom in those days.  By the time I moved here in 1983 and we had done the parties for new friends: none of whom feature in our Lives now : by the time the panics began and I could no longer host people here, probably around 1989 ....... I was partied out!

I think my Life has had several 'rooms' .......... with which I am OK with for a few years then i want something different.  That has meant that those people didn't move into the  next room with us 

[eliza jane]

  This has been a great thread for me. I feel all peopled out at the moment. but one of the reasons I have been doing this is because I split up from my partner and it has been hard to sit with myself. the company has shielded me from feelings. But now I am taking some time off. I do not have a home at the moment as I am renting a room. I go to stay in Liverpool for three nights at the beginning of July and this thread has made me think that i ought to stay in a hotel rather than my friends flat. I am also due to stay at a cousins place but all they have to offer is the couch for the night and i refuse to stay on the couch at my age. But a refusal is seen as a ejection by my cousins girlfriend.  When I was younger and had less self worth the couch was enough for me. but now i want more.So, as i can afford the Travelodge I think I should stay there.
x
eliza
 

[Joyce]

Explain that you would be more comfortable in the Travel Lodge, but you appreciate their offer. We have opted for hotel room next time we go to DD's as they were going to move out of their room and sleep in new baby's room on futon. We didn't feel it was fair on them.

[Limpy]

Eliza Jane, it has to be the Travel Lodge, for so many reasons.
- Proper bed
- Sole access to bathroom
- Preservation of sanity
- Peace and Quiet
- Don't want to cause them inconvenience
Perhaps you could meet up for a meal or something, if you like them.
However, as you are working it might be a bit difficult to say when you will be free.......

[CLKD]

We never stay with cousin's etc..  If there is a B&B close by that does it for us!  As Limpy states - all that list and more ;-)

Also - if you really want some peace and quiet then tell whoever early enough "Thanks for your offer but I have decided and booked B&B close by" - why do we feel we have to JUSTIFY everything to everyone    - 'because' is usually my answer if they keep on!!!