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[walking the dog]

your right taz its fear out of control and there is nothing can be done about it , my feelings of doom have not been helped this weekend as my brother who is 45 had a minor stroke he is 2 years younger than i am.

[rosekay]

I know how you feel, walking the dog - my brother is 15 years younger than me and he had a stroke last year. He's made a good recovery, but it really gets to you!  And Taz2, I was worrying only the other day about who would be there for my kids and grandkids when they get old - scared they might be all alone!  I'm really losing the plot...

[Evenstar]

Its not nice to think about is it?

[Lucky Stone]

Blimey, what a cheerful lot we all are    my uncle has vascular dementia and it worries me that I may get dementia at some time (I know of someone else who has to be restrained at night and when I said well what about sedatives, they said oh no, they don't have any effect). Yippee! I am much more conscious of ageing now and it's comforting in a kind of way to read the posts on this thread and know I am not alone in this. I have no kids and when OH goes, no rellies really although his kids are, I suppose, fond of me but I'm not their mum. I have good mates but where we live, a lot of the people we know are older and I do have the thought that if I was left here all by myself, I might end up with no-one here to relate to at all. Which is a bit scary  I've said for a long while that I have no wish to make really old bones and if I get to 70, then that's fair enough. I'll be honest that my diet varies - some days no fruit and veg at all - and because we have just had visitors, I've drunk more wine than I usually do. But normally I am a creature of moderation. It's the losing my mind that would scare me. My uncle had a top job, they say use your brain and he did but look what he has.  Not a good thought.

[CLKD]

It's being so cheerful that keeps us going 

It's also because we are a caring bunch.  Some are Mums/Grandmums who have spent their life caring for others.  Some of us are without children but have good partners/hobbies which for me, makes it more difficult, because without DH    .......... he won't discuss it, yesterday I said "I can't even change a light bulb" and was told "get someone in to do it" - but that would then mean I would have to be socialbe at a time when I, as I told him, "will be burying myself into the duvet in the corner of a room".   He doesn't dwell, is that a Man Thing    ......... 

[Taz2]

Lucky Stone - vascular dementia is slightly different from other dementias as it is caused by poor blood flow to the brain - this often is a side effect of diabetes which causes heart problems. My mum had vascular dementia and no amount of keeping her brain active etc. would have changed it.

CLKD - you should practice light bulb changing while he is out. This way he need never know that you can do it but you will be safe in the knowledge that you can.

Taz x

[honeybun]

I can do most things myself. I had to learn because OH worked abroad so much. Also my dad died when I was 19 and my mother cancelled out for years so I was pretty self sufficient.
My advice would be please learn to do things, be it a light bulb a plug, finances...


....I hate being dependant on anyone when I am more than capable.






Honeyb
X

[Suzi Q]

IM a Pink toothbrush your a blue toothbrush will you marry me one day

No just look at poeple now differently look at young couples and think Id give anything to go around again with Bobbles
Look at kids and think by the time they are my age I will be dust I know its stupid and a waste of time
Im lucky to be here so many arent but as Ive said before we KNOW there are people worse off than us
But knowing that and feeling bad for them doesnt make our pain any the less
LIKE MY TRIGGER THUMB not bent it in a week cant now its rigid NOW I know 3 People pals with Cancer
I worry for them pray fro them but even so to me my Thumbs stiffness paon iin palm is scarey my pain is that mine

[Scampi]

Oooh - Suzi - I empathise so much with your post.  I have things going on in my life that worry ME (long-term health issues for myself, my Mum, my father-in-law ...).  I KNOW there are people worse off, but when I'm having a bad day, when it's all getting on top of me, when someone at work is whining (again!!!) about some pathetic piece of office politics and I have to deal with it, I just wonder when will it be MY turn for some support?!!  My 'troubles' may be trivial, but they are what I have to deal with - I can feel sorry for myself and still feel for those who are genuinely worse off than me.

I'm not sure if that made any sense at all - it's so hard to put it into words.  I do think it's part of getting older though - we spend so much time caring for/about other people and feel guilty about caring for ourselves.

[CLKD]

It made plenty of sense .......

[honeybun]

My aunt has vascular dementia. She has been in hospital for a while after breaking her hip.
It healed without an operation although one leg is shorter than the other. She has been deemed competent by the hospital and is being sent home with a care package. She is an accident waiting to happen but will not consider a care home.
She had an evil tongue before and now she is just foul. I have backed off so hard.....I have one difficult old lady to look after I just could not cope with any more. The trouble is the whole family have done the same so it's down to her Jehovah's witness friends to deal with her. I wonder how long that will last.
Not long me thinks.

I so do not want to get like that.

Honeyb
X

[Evenstar]

Now I can definitely change lightbulbs. In fact, I can wire them up too. Ok I can only do it on a carnival float but is a start eh

[CLKD]

Bet the Float wins every time 

Thanks for the up-date on your Aunt Honeybun.  Sitting back is OK - you have plenty enough on *your* plate.  Let her JW friends help out.    but don't go rushing in if they don't, get social services involved.  She has made her choices, they might not be what your Mum or you want but they are HER choices.

If DH stops breathing at night I nudge him ........... 

[pixie]

I managed to wire up a new dimmer switch - never done before and will not attempt again, too scary!  I had to switch the electricity off but it worked. Can wire a plug and have mended the toilet twice and avoided huge plumber costs.

[Suzi Q]

Oooh - Suzi - I empathise so much with your post.  I have things going on in my life that worry ME (long-term health issues for myself, my Mum, my father-in-law ...).  I KNOW there are people worse off, but when I'm having a bad day, when it's all getting on top of me, when someone at work is whining (again!!!) about some pathetic piece of office politics and I have to deal with it, I just wonder when will it be MY turn for some support?!!  My 'troubles' may be trivial, but they are what I have to deal with - I can feel sorry for myself and still feel for those who are genuinely worse off than me.

I'm not sure if that made any sense at all - it's so hard to put it into words.  I do think it's part of getting older though - we spend so much time caring for/about other people and feel guilty about caring for ourselves.

My MUM used to say when my Dad would say YOMA theres plesnty of people worse off than you
Shed retort OK Jack go find one put them in front of me and let me have a bloody good laugh
She wasnt beeing mean she was saying the same as me my pains just that mine
 yet I am able to understand other peoples pain and pray for them wish them back to good heslth
But it doesnt make me feel any better about me?