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[CLKD]

I would LOVE a garden of 100 ft    .......... if you lived closer 

[Oldteen]

Yes, my husband does all the gardening as it's his profession. I've never so much as done any weeding. My parents were never into gardening either and my dad hated it!

Like you Rowan and Taz I don't like hoarding, but both my husband and son are hoarders. My son is DREADFUL! I don't believe in hoarding as it's unfair on those you leave behind. My mum was a hoarder and I couldn't cope when she was moved to sheltered housing. Her house was crammed with useless rubbish and as it was a council house we only had one month in which to clear it.  There was only myself and husband to clear it, though the kids helped a bit, but we lived two hours away so it was very difficult with all the to-ing and fro-ing. In the end we put everything that we could outside for the council to shift. There came a point where I just sat down amongst it all and cried. My husband then said, 'Walk away. Leave it.' So we handed over the keys and left it to the council to clear. I don't know if there was anything worth keeping amongst all the junk, and we'd found a fair bit of cash lying around too, hidden in piles of newspaper, carrier bags and envelopes, so there may have been more, but I expect it all went to the dump. She was then angry with me at not bringing everything to her new place and I could never convince her that most of it was crap and there was no room in her new place, which was only a bedsit. It was one of the most horrible times of my life.

Then she began hoarding again and when she died I had to go through it all over again, though there wasn't so much second time around. Again, I just handed over the keys and walked away as I couldn't cope.

[Joyce]

Doubt I could cope with stress of moving again. Last time we only moved across the road. However I wish  could move somewhere else. Quiet, by the sea would be nice.  However, it's only a dream.

[Suzi Q]

I sat and worked out in my life Ive lived in wait for it 10 houses by the time I was 15
15 to 20 2 flats Then at 16 joined the WRENS had 4 different postings makes what 16
20 onwards to now in Wallasey Cornawall and Ozz 4 flats 10 houses 10th being this one so all in all by nigh on 59
30 different houses Barracks and flats Ive lived in
Will this be the last I dont know even thugh we are doing extensive renovations building a huge garden room
Compleat with bifiolds yayyy always wanted them made a 40sq deck bla bla bla I know when its finished itchy again
Weve lately been talking about when we retire (Geoffrey in 6 years maybe sooner) we May sell but a 2 bed flat
Then with the rest of the money go to Italy and buy a home there we have lots of pals in the Amalfi region
With our savings for our pension which we have been doing now since 1989 to fund our retirement if we go to Italy
We could live a fab life there abso no worries where as here in Ozz we will be OK but seeing 2 lots of my rellies move
They left UK in the last 3 years or so one lot to France one lot to Italy with the pension and the money from the sale of their Wallasey house they both live great lives and as they have children and grandchildren they have loads of visitors and of course they arent short of places to stay The one in France has gone to Lyon
My cousins hubbie was offered a job 2 years ago there with a UK/French firm hes 59 now (he was unemployed in UK)
They lived there a year and decided last June to sell up and move perm They bought a terrace in Wallasey to rent out
They bought CASH a 4 bed house with pool on a hillside with buses trains rest lovely med place just outside Lyon
They  had a 4 bed semi 1930 style very nice but nothing outlandish but even in these times they got a decent price
Still weve a few years yet to decide and if son and dinlaw have kids then its a no go for certain but shes 35 hes 38?
Mum was the instigator of moving and its always been me but I like this house Ive never loved anywhere Ive lived
After a while any place to me just becomes 4 walls wish it wasnt xxxxxxx

[lily]

Gosh Suzi, your life makes me feel tired out    Sounds good though and retirement in Italy sounds fab.

[honeybun]

When we moved the time before last we had been in that house for 15 years. We had so much stuff it wad scary and I vowed never to let it happen again. again We moved to a flat so no loft and although this house has a tiny bit of loft space we really don't use it as the whole space was converted into a room for my daughter.
The garage is still a nightmare as it has boxes from our flat still storing stuff and then when my son moved back in with us the contents of his flat came too. There is a little path up the middle to the fridge freezer and another little path to the tumble dryer.

I really need to clear it out.......One day.

Honeyb
X

[purplenanny]

Yes, my husband does all the gardening as it's his profession. I've never so much as done any weeding.

Wow, BOB you are so lucky. But I can see your dilema of coping with it alone.

I wonder why elderly people seem to hoard? Although saying that my sister is 71 and keeps nothing excessive to what she is using so I can't see her being like that when she gets older. Her loft is empty and I am so envious!

[Taz2]

purplenanny - I don't think it is elderly people who hoard - it is just people that hoard things and it only becomes a problem once they are elderly and other people have to sort it out!

Taz x 

[Oldteen]

 I think for our parents' generation the war may have had an influence, also poverty. My mum came from a poor family and I think that made her cling on to things, and in the war you kept everything in case it was needed.

 It was sad regarding my mum actually, as she never got any pleasure out of anything she was given. Any present she was given was carefully put away, never to be used. The list of things she held onto unused for decades included a box of toiletries that were quite expensive and so "too good to use", which in the end rotted and crumbled away. She had handbags that went rotten ( the house was damp) that were decades old and never used. It got to the point where if I gave her a present I insisted that it be used or I'd take it back. Saddest of all was a lovely eiderdown that was a wedding present. It was put on the top of the wardrobe for over 40 years as it was "too good to use", and yes, it went rotten.

As well as presents, she had a mania for buying soap, some of which went mouldy. I found some with money -off coupons on the wrapper which went back 20 years! She also hoarded carrier bags, envelopes, newspapers...why? I once tried to throw some carrier bags away and she became very distressed. I begged her to try and explain why she valued them so much ( she had hundreds of them ) but she couldn't. 

[Oldteen]

Taz, I would say that she got worse as she got older, particularly after my dad died.

[Oldteen]

Yes, my husband does all the gardening as it's his profession. I've never so much as done any weeding.

Wow, BOB you are so lucky. But I can see your dilema of coping with it alone.

I tell people that that was my main reason for marrying him!

[Rowan]

I have lost count of the houses I have lived in starting from when I was born sometimes when I can't sleep I try to count and picture them, it does tend to send me to sleep.

That's why I hate clutter, I would like to keep only what I use, my books and beautiful things, not the stuff OH won't throw away, never sees the light of day, not used and probably never will be. I am still trying to work our why he puts small screws on the kitchen windowsill  saying they will come in handy and they are still there a year later!

My ideal house is one that is far away from neighbours so that I don't have to smell barbecue smoke and do it yourself dust that gets on my chest every year, preferably by the sea, not to far from Doctors and Hospital, near the library, near the shops. The house will have floorboards that don't creak upstairs ( they drive me mad) a large utility room where OH can iron to his hearts content, a large kitchen where we don't get under each others feet and a garden that has no lawn to cut but large patio (we do have that).

I am sure this will not be my last house though I wish I was in one that I loved and would not have to move from, the though of moving makes me feel I would not know where to start, in the past it has never bothered me, but I seemed to have had more energy and enthusiasm then.

Really though I am quite happy here its a lovely area our house is nice just as not perfect as I would like it

[Taz2]

I think there is a difference between acquiring clutter - such as ornaments, children's drawings, photos, treasured clothes etc. - and old newspapers, carrier bags. This type of hoarding is often associated with other disorders such as social anxiety, bi-polar and OCD. I only know this because when my children were small they were friends with a lad who's mum hoarded everything. She was a well respected midwife but her home had to be seen to be believed. The whole place was full of bin bags (neatly stacked) because she couldn't bear to throw anything away. In the end their caravan on the drive and their spare car were also filled to the brim with rubbish!  She was eventually diagnosed with depression and OCD although it was too late to save the marriage unfortunately. She too would become really upset at the thought of anything being thrown out but, in all other ways, she appeared really well balanced.

My husband is the gardener - he gets upset that I just never notice what he's done out there and I've been told off so much in the past for walking past the tubs all day and just not noticing that the flowers are wilting... much as he never notices that I've cleaned the bathroom I suppose 

Taz x

[purplenanny]

good reason BOB, especially now you have a 100ft garden!
Very sad about your Mum, to have lovely things and never enjoy them. Keeping things for best is not good, I used to be like that but try hard not to now. I will try even harder after reading your post BOB. PN x x

[purplenanny]

My husband is the gardener - he gets upset that I just never notice what he's done out there and I've been told off so much in the past for walking past the tubs all day and just not noticing that the flowers are wilting... much as he never notices that I've cleaned the bathroom I suppose 

Taz x

well said Taz !