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[Pennyfarthing]

Oh PF I feel for you - if it was me I would get myself over to the hospital straight away, sod the SIL & brothers, you need to be there not only for your dear Mum but also for yourself - if you don't you might regret it.

All the arguments & resentments can be put to one side for now surely? 

I do speak from experience  .

Cazi x

the nurse suggested I ring again in morning but says mum is fine and not in pain and had walked to loo with her. Because it takes me a good hour to get there I would have missed tonight's visiting anyway.

She has added both my home and mobile numbers to Mums notes.

[Scampi]

When my mum had hospital stays when she was still in her own home, her accommodation was assessed by Occupational Therapists to check she was safe.  She had to demonstrate that she could get herself in and out of her chair and bed, use the toilet safely and make herself at least a drink - they didn't take her word for it - she had to show them she could do it. 

Make sure the hospital know to let you know when any assessment is to be done, so you can be there.  OT's are very good at spotting when older people say they can do more than they can, and will listen to what you tell them too.  It's a necessary step to make sure your Mum gets what she needs, but be warned it can be hard to watch, especially if having to show someone else what she is capable of makes your Mum realise what she can't do ....

Thinking of you xxx

[CLKD]

Whereas Social Workers tend to put the client 'first' and not listen to what relatives tell them is the reality!

Did you sleep PF?

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

We have had similar problems with MIL who has just gone into a nursing home. During one of her many hospital stays she was interviewed about her capabilities and told the social worker that she could get upstairs to the toilet and in and out of her chair. Unfortunately she failed to add that the chair is an electric 'rise and recline' model and she has a chair lift to get upstairs! Needless to say when we discovered all this we had to track down the social worker and set her straight.

I send my sympathies to everyone struggling with these situations.

K.

[babyjane]

I read an article last week about how Alzheimer's patients can fail to recognise grey as it is a dull colour and they were neglecting to use their walkers and frames and taking tumbles.  The manager of the home introduced a scheme to decorate all the frames and walkers in bright colours with the resident's name on each one.  Apparently they don't forget to use them now and the falls have reduced considerably.

http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/02/pimp-my-zimmer-elderly-residents-at-an-essex-carehome-look-super-fly-6298422/

[CLKD]

PF - your sister-in-law will stay overnight if your Mum gets sent home then?  How will your Mum access her home if she's sent without them telling you?  Will the Ambulance return her to the Ward if there's no one there to let her in?  It's a real mine-field of no one joining up the pieces!

BJ - how interesting!  Also, many old people tend to be bent over so don't always see what is 'in front' of them!

[Pennyfarthing]

I read an article last week about how Alzheimer's patients can fail to recognise grey as it is a dull colour and they were neglecting to use their walkers and frames and taking tumbles.  The manager of the home introduced a scheme to decorate all the frames and walkers in bright colours with the resident's name on each one.  Apparently they don't forget to use them now and the falls have reduced considerably.

http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/02/pimp-my-zimmer-elderly-residents-at-an-essex-carehome-look-super-fly-6298422/

That is so interesting .... thanks.   Mums wheeler is cream and brown with shelves. The shelves are used to store about a weeks worth of newspapers, Xmas cards, scissors, tissues, sweets etc. Rather than used as an aid to help her get about. 

[Pennyfarthing]

PF - your sister-in-law will stay overnight if your Mum gets sent home then?  How will your Mum access her home if she's sent without them telling you?  Will the Ambulance return her to the Ward if there's no one there to let her in?  It's a real mine-field of no one joining up the pieces!

BJ - how interesting!  Also, many old people tend to be bent over so don't always see what is 'in front' of them!

It is indeed a minefield CLKD.  I am drained with the worry of it all and can't eat. I just feel sick all the time.

[CLKD]

PF - given the time of year could your Mum go into respite care - maybe ring the two homes that you fancy and see what availability there might be?  Or drop by and have that talk with the Staff at each home?  Get an idea of the fee scales etc..

[Kathleen]

Hello Pennyfarthing.


My MIL recently went into a nursing home and she is happy and settled. When she was at home she had an army of carers, cleaners, gardeners and other visitors, my SIL lived closeby and did all her shopping and my  husband organised her medication, escorted her to all her medical appointments and we took her on days out. None of this was enough to prevent her having falls and frequently being admitted to hospital. Now she is in a nursing home she has 24 hour care which is what she needs.

I am always amused to hear reports suggesting that the elderly could and should live independently in their own homes. My MIL could do nothing for herself and although many people attended to her she was still at risk when left alone, overnight for example.

I hope you can find the right solution for your mother's care so that you can all feel the benefit of knowing that she is safe and being looked after.

Take care.

K.

[CLKD]

That's the way to go so that you have it clearer in your head, did you ask about respite care?

[Pennyfarthing]

That's the way to go so that you have it clearer in your head, did you ask about respite care?

I asked at the nicer one CLKD and they do offer respite. All this info I am storing up for when I need it. I want to at least know what's available so if I need it urgently I will have it to hand. THanks.

[CLKD]

Respite can be difficult to find when push comes to shove, which is why I suggest that maybe your Mum goes there on discharge?  With the various bugs etc. families who do there caring may not have the physical means to look after their relative who then needs urgent respite.

Keep updating us!  Try to eat little and often 

[CLKD]

You've heard from your brother and/or wife yet?  Keeping quiet again …….. maybe suggest into respite care for the C.mas season 'in case' - this morning I saw a care home advertising 'continual respite care' on their notice board outside the property  - am I missing something here?

[CLKD]

Crikey PF will you sleep tonight  .  How did they know that your Mum was due for discharge ……….