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[CLKD]

We had the same in Holmfirth last week - wouldn't work in the room, TV reception was iffy too …….

[CLKD]

Pennyfarthing - did your brothers visit your Mum whilst you were away - probably a silly question  .  Did she seem settled and do you think it would be a 'choice' if she liked the company?

Mine was taking herself off to town on the bus this morning, doing some shopping then having a light lunch at a cafe she always uses.  They make a fuss of her there ;-).

[Pennyfarthing]

Pennyfarthing - did your brothers visit your Mum whilst you were away - probably a silly question  .  Did she seem settled and do you think it would be a 'choice' if she liked the company?

Mine was taking herself off to town on the bus this morning, doing some shopping then having a light lunch at a cafe she always uses.  They make a fuss of her there ;-).

Apparently one brother went to see her one day and his adult son went another day so that's good. Other brother and wife didn't visit.

She will NOT  wear those flipping hearing aids so I think she misses a lot of conversations now. On questioning her she said they were all kind to her, the food was very good and she slept well. She said she did get a bit bored at times but she had her hair done one day (which I arranged) another couple of days they had someone in to do craft activities with them.  As hubby pointed out though she does sleep all afternoon and goes to bed about 9pm and sleeps all night so there's not much time left to socialise. 

I spoke to her last night and asked her how her first night/day at home went and she said she didn't like having to prepare food for herself and make drinks and wondered where she was when she got up.

Hope your mum had a good day. The days of my mum going out by herself are now sadly gone.

[CLKD]

Do you and your husband think it's time to consider full-time 'care' …… perhaps another respite few days when you can visit to see how she really is?  Good that the home arranges activities etc., do they have a mini-bus for those residents able to go out and about?

I won't know if Mum enjoyed her day as she won't phone exempt on a Monday!

[Pennyfarthing]

Do you and your husband think it's time to consider full-time 'care' …… perhaps another respite few days when you can visit to see how she really is?  Good that the home arranges activities etc., do they have a mini-bus for those residents able to go out and about?

I won't know if Mum enjoyed her day as she won't phone exempt on a Monday!

Update .. just rang her and she's quite chirpy. Went to her luncheon club and they all made a fuss of her. She says she misses having all her food handed to her but she hopes she never has to go to a place like that or a hospital again as she prefers her own home .... she thinks!   .  What she doesn't understand though is how I worry about her falling over again ..... even tonight she said "oh I nearly fell over when I got up to answer the phone."  I tell her time and time again to leave the phone beside her chair when she's settled down to watch TV but she doesn't listen.

[Pennyfarthing]

Had to laugh tonight .... since late morning I've had shocking backache. I was shopping this morning and think I lifted bags wrongly or something. Anyway had to go to bed with hot water bottle on back this afternoon. 

Rang mum tonight and asked how she was and she said "up and down really" so I told her I had backache and in a flash she said she'd had it too and felt terrible and proceeded to tell me in great detail and never once asked about me!  . She remembered it was my late Dad's birthday yesterday but completely forgot it was my birthday last Sunday until I told her.

She has  a psychogeriatric assessment next week.

[CLKD]

  they can be so Bl***y awkward.  We took my Mum to buy a remote phone that she can carry around, 1 in the lounge - the idea being that it is on the arm of the sofa in the evening - the other in the hall.  She INSISTS on using the 1 in the hall even though she has fallen several times when dashing to answer it.  She wakes suddenly from the doze on the sofa …… when she told me she had fallen I walked away.  Later I told her that I no longer wanted to know, we had tried to help but she's a Big Girl Now.  If she falls she falls ……. I've stopped worrying.  At nearly 90 she knows that a fracture is likely to be the end!

How's the back Pennyfarthing?   

[Pennyfarthing]

they can be so Bl***y awkward.  We took my Mum to buy a remote phone that she can carry around, 1 in the lounge - the idea being that it is on the arm of the sofa in the evening - the other in the hall.  She INSISTS on using the 1 in the hall even though she has fallen several times when dashing to answer it.  She wakes suddenly from the doze on the sofa …… when she told me she had fallen I walked away.  Later I told her that I no longer wanted to know, we had tried to help but she's a Big Girl Now.  If she falls she falls ……. I've stopped worrying.  At nearly 90 she knows that a fracture is likely to be the end!

How's the back Pennyfarthing?   

Thanks for asking. Hurts when I move, cough or sneeze and I can only take paracetamol.

My mum takes forever to answer the phone despite having a remote one for years. The usual excuse is she couldn't find the phone, other nights it's because she's left it in the kitchen. Tonight's excuse was different .... apparently it was right in front of her but she didn't recognise it despite it ringing for about 3 minutes. 

[Pennyfarthing]

Well that was an eventful morning! Was supposed to be taking Mum out to shop and she phoned and said she didn't feel well enough. Backache and headache. So I did all her shopping and took it over. She was up and dressed and didn't look too bad at all.

Yesterday she said she had had to come home from her luncheon club in someone else's "blue jacket with dirty cuffs" as she thinks someone took her gold one.  I quietly went to look in her hall this morning and there was the gold jacket and no sign of a blue one!  She's convinced it's not hers even though I know it is so I've brought it home to wash.  I also brought her dressing gown which was grubby and the jumper she was wearing which had two stains.  This is not like her at all as she's usually meticulously clean.

Then ... praise the Lord .. I found the second missing sock complete with money in the third bedroom. . I looked in the bed where she found the first one ...nothing. At the foot of the bed was a rolled up satin throw and matching cushions and I undid the throw and the sock dropped to the floor.  I checked in her sock drawer that the first sock was still there and took the pair and contents down to her.

I counted out the £200 and wrote it down for her and she was pleased she had the pair again! Not bothered at all about the money though. I reminded her that she and brothers had said it was the cleaner and she was adamant that nobody said such a thing. 

I threw out some potatoes which were 6 weeks old and were in her fridge and then a half eaten cake from the pantry which was a month out of date.

I told her I would heat her a stew and dumpling ready meal I'd brought and her microwave is quite complicated so I asked her to show me how to set it and she's forgotten that too so I suspect she is not eating properly.  For breakfast she says she had a crackerbread but she says she woke up starving at 3 am and came down and had  hot milk and cornflakes. 

She ate all the stew and said it was good and then she wanted to go to bed so I took her up, all her newspapers, drink etc and she should sleep all afternoon.

She seems to be declining rapidly now.  I will be very interested to see what the psycho geriatric assessment makes of her on Friday.

[CLKD]

Pennyfarthing - does your Mum have a urine infection as this can cause similar symptoms?!?  Fancy The Sock turning up!  Your Mum had probably forgotten all about the previous episode  .  I'm with your Mum on not recognising the phone, my mobile can be ringing and I reach for the remote control   

Mine is so busy this weekend that she can't see us until next week  . 

[Pennyfarthing]

Pennyfarthing - does your Mum have a urine infection as this can cause similar symptoms?!?  Fancy The Sock turning up!  Your Mum had probably forgotten all about the previous episode  .  I'm with your Mum on not recognising the phone, my mobile can be ringing and I reach for the remote control   

Mine is so busy this weekend that she can't see us until next week  .

We wondered about a UTI a few weeks ago and saw GP and all was fine.

She was quite chirpy last night

[CLKD]

Slowing down in general maybe?   Spending time alone especially when they sleep can cause 'disturbance' if they wake suddenly etc..  Like not knowing where they are, what time of day it is ……. Mum will sleep on the sofa and wake if it's dark and wonder if she has slept all night 

[Pennyfarthing]

Mum didn't want me to take her shopping today so I offered a car ride down the coast and I'd do her shopping while she sat in the sun. It is fab here today 16c.  She didn't want that either and also didn't want me to drop some shopping in to her as she says she has everything she needs. She says she aches all over.She sounded very low.

I bumped into a neighbour of hers who told me that The elderly man opposite Mum must have died as the undertakers were there this morning.  I imagine Mum would have seen this too and it has upset her but she didn't say.  It is really sad as he's 95 and he and Mum go right back to when they were young married couples and they started families at the same time.  His wife died about 3  years ago. 
He and my late Dad went to school in the village together and were same age.

They all live to a great old age round there .... most people well into their 80s and many like mum reach 90+ and there are a few at her luncheon club 100+.

It must be depressing seeing all your old friends departing this world.

[CLKD]

My Mum has had several neighbours younger or of similar age die this year.  The last neighbour whose bungalow opposite Mum's property passed about 6 weeks ago.  I think it brings it home a bit.   Seeing the bungalow in darkness and family clearing out.  Next door (opposite) also died 3 weeks ago so his family have been clearing out.  They aren't folk who go in and out much but a friendly wave and a quick chat when putting the Council bins out is obviously missed 

[Ju Ju]

It is hard isn't it? I remember a cousin of my dad's telling me that she would be disappointed when she woke up in the morning as her health deteriorated and her best friend died. I'm so glad Mum and dad have each other. They kiss each other every night before going off to their separate rooms, just in case. When I'm there and Mum sleeps longer than normal in the afternoon, dad sends me off to check she's ok. Most of their friends have died. They are the oldest ones at their church. All mums siblings died young.

Their central heating has broken down. The central heating engineer has had great difficulty diagnosing what was wrong, even bringing a other experienced colleagues. A blockage somewhere that has moved due to the new pump being installed. I hope it's sorted before the cold weather comes and doesn't require carpets and floorboards being pulled up. Worrying at their age. When dad was younger, he would have been able to sort it out himself.