Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Pennyfarthing]

The period at the start of dementia can be very tricky as you begin to realise you have to start taking everything you're told with a good pinch of salt! 

Then when you've come to terms with the fact yourself, you have to start trying to convince others that its so (eg your brothers) which can take a lot longer.

The socks may turn up having been well hidden in some ridiculously unlikely place one day, and what's the betting there's no money in them?

Don't worry PF I guarantee you'll become a expert in reading between the lines as you care for your dear mum. Just keep enjoying those laughs together while you can.

I think you're spot on there StellaJane.

[CLKD]

At least your Mum isn't nervous about the scan  - did you managed lunch?

[Pennyfarthing]

At least your Mum isn't nervous about the scan  - did you managed lunch?

Oh no she's never nervous for hospital appointments!  She likes the attention. 

We have a little ritual you know. We park using her disabled badge and she always drills me over whether we can park there and how long.  Then she asks staff to guess how old she is and loves telling them she's "only 92 you know".

I just told her we've booked a holiday soon and it didn't seem to register. She usually says "when will you be back?"

[CLKD]

How did the appt go?  My Mum's wise crack is when asked to do anything that she hasn't thought of, "I'm nearly 90 you don't expect me to …….. "  well, yes actually; it's a number!!!! then in the next breath she'll tell me not to tell anyone how old she *is* 

[Pennyfarthing]

How did the appt go?  My Mum's wise crack is when asked to do anything that she hasn't thought of, "I'm nearly 90 you don't expect me to …….. "  well, yes actually; it's a number!!!! then in the next breath she'll tell me not to tell anyone how old she *is* 

It was OK and it takes 7-10 for results to get to GP. 

I feel like that painting The Scream today.  .  I have been up since 6.45 and have finally sat down at 1pm.  Did washing, hung it out. Had breakfast.   went to do mums grocery shopping and PO jobs.  Took daughter for health check.

 Drove home and dumped her off, swapped her for Mum who had just had another hours sleep.   Drove mum home while she's telling me she thinks she's got a broken toe.  Head scan forgotten so it's now a new symptom.  . I told her I broke my little toe last Xmas and they don't do anything for it anyway and she hasn't dropped anything on it anyway. She's running out of ailments. 

She wanted me to stay for coffee but she knows I've got hairdresser coming. I put her shopping away and did another sweep of two chests of drawers looking for the socks to no avail.

Drove home and made rolls for me and hubby and son and daughter did their own, then daughters boyfriend came in ..... Hubby says its like a hotel here!  . They've just gone, hubby's just going, sons going to cut the grass while I get my hair coloured and cut.  I think she'll have to wake me up when she's finished.

[Pennyfarthing]

Honestly ... Just when I start to relax something else happens ....Just had a phone call from my mums house but it was a neighbour. Apparently she had a dizzy spell and was sitting outside her back door and was frightened she was going to fall. 

I spoke to mum and said I'd come over and she said no she was just dizzy. I said what made you dizzy and she said she was ironing!!! I said there's no need for you to be ironing that's why you have a home help!  Presumably she went outside to get some air.

THat neighbour has to go out but is going to get the neighbour the other side to sit with her for a little while and I will ring back in an hour and probably go over, although she's insisting she's OK.

I don't care what she says I am now going to book her into a care home for a respite break while I go on my holiday because it's just too much of a worry. 

It will be several days yet before we get the results of her CT scan on her head.

[CLKD]

It's lovely that neighbours care enough to ask the question!  However, when Mum's neighbours got involved after her fall 2 years ago Mum spat bricks, even more when they informed me!!! 

[CLKD]

Because of anxiety I haven't offered my services to the elderly lady now alone - we were quite friendly years ago then life-styles altered ……..

[Pennyfarthing]

Well, am going to ring Mum in a little while and see how she is.  I am going to suggest she has a weeks "holiday" when we go away (in a care home) and see what she says.  I know it's short notice to get her in somewhere but there are two good homes near where I am going shopping later so will call in at both of them.

I couldn't eat my meal last night with worrying and this morning I have struggled to eat a bowl of oatbran. I don't want to cancel our holiday as we both really need a week away.  Apart from Sunday's, my hubby has had just one day off since Easter. Even on Sunday's he never stops with doing jobs in the garden and with the horses.

I just won't be able to relax if I'm worrying about her stumbling or falling at home. 

[Pennyfarthing]

I'm feeling for you, truly.

I'm guessing your mum will probably not like the idea, but perhaps you can appeal to her reasonable side if you say you would really appreciate not having to worry about her while you're away.

My mum didn't have a reasonable side unfortunately so it was a case of telling her I'm sorry but this is what we need to do. Then there would be tears .. but what's the alternative?

She reckons she's "still not right" and had a bad nights sleep but she didn't sound too bad TBH.  I asked her to think about the idea of having a week in a care home while I'm away because I will worry about her and she said she would think about it.  I mentioned that social services still haven't found a carer to go in to her each morning and she says she doesn't want that anyway and doesn't want "people poking about" which sounds like my brothers speaking!!! I reminded her that a couple of weeks ago she told SS that she DID want that.

I said if her sons helped out more I could go away and not worry and she said "but they're so busy" .... One is retired completely and lives alone with no commitments and the other is semi retired with no kids at home.    and both of them live closer than I do.  She reminded me that one of them brings her a newspaper every morning!!  .

[CLKD]

A whole newspaper, does he read it first ?  .  It's Mums and boys sadly, Mums rarely see that they ought to help out …..

You have a look-see to find somewhere for your Mum, be firm and keep pressing the points you have raised here.  You both need a break ………

Are there any private 'care' firms close by?  My Mum has help bathing from a small 'firm' run by an ex-Nursing Sister ….. not exactly ideal as they take on too many clients  but at least twice a week Mum knows that she will have help getting in and out of her bath. 

Keep us up to date?

[Pennyfarthing]

A whole newspaper, does he read it first ?  .  It's Mums and boys sadly, Mums rarely see that they ought to help out …..

You have a look-see to find somewhere for your Mum, be firm and keep pressing the points you have raised here.  You both need a break ………

Are there any private 'care' firms close by?  My Mum has help bathing from a small 'firm' run by an ex-Nursing Sister ….. not exactly ideal as they take on too many clients  but at least twice a week Mum knows that she will have help getting in and out of her bath. 

Keep us up to date?

I called unannounced at two care homes this morning. One has no respite beds available until mid Oct and the other could help us!  The receptionist was helpful, the place looked clean and she gave me a brochure with idea of costs.  As I was leaving an elderly lady was leaving with a family member and had just had a respite break there and some staff came out and gave her a hug and I overheard her telling them she had had a great time.

I will speak to Mum again tonight and see what she thinks.

[CLKD]

Could she go for half a day, or would that mean giving her the opportunity of telling you that she doesn't like it ?

[Pennyfarthing]

Could she go for half a day, or would that mean giving her the opportunity of telling you that she doesn't like it ?

There is that.  I have spoken to a couple of people whose family members have been there full time and also a friend whose Mum goes in there for  respite when he goes on holiday and they all speak well of it.  As part of his job my hubby goes into several care homes and has told me which ones to avoid because they smell!

[CLKD]

I hate smelly 'care' homes.  Even if the Staff are caring it shows a lack of respect in a way, probably because the rooms are not refurbished between clients.  There should be as few carpets as possible, hard floors might be slippery for clients with wobbly legs though  .