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[grumpy2008]

Sorry to hear about your mum, Ju Ju, I hope everything's ok

What a week we've had My husband's Uncle is in hospital, frail and in his late 80s, and we're the closest family that are able to provide any help. So the care worker has unsuccessfully been trying to arrange intermediate care for him in a local care home, to free up the hospital bed and build him up before going home. But for all kinds of reasons there are hold ups, and now the care worker is on holiday and my husband's mum (in her 80s) is getting increasingly stressed about the situation and ringing my husband up for help...

On top of all this, my BIL has been critically ill in hospital (although thankfully, he seems to be getting slowly better, but it was touch and go for a while). And my dad's house sale, which I've pretty much organised single-handedly, is due to complete next week and I'm run ragged trying to clear the last of the items out of the house. Aargh! It never seems to end... there was SO much stuff! I'll be so happy when I don't have the house to worry about anymore. Dad (with dementia) asks about it all the time of course, and wants to go back, despite being in his lovely care home for over a year now with dreadful memory loss and speech problems. Mind you, he decided the other day that he was going to buy a battery powered bike so he can 'get around a bit'. This is the man who can barely shuffle to the back gate 

[Pennyfarthing]

Sorry to hear about your mum, Ju Ju, I hope everything's ok

What a week we've had My husband's Uncle is in hospital, frail and in his late 80s, and we're the closest family that are able to provide any help. So the care worker has unsuccessfully been trying to arrange intermediate care for him in a local care home, to free up the hospital bed and build him up before going home. But for all kinds of reasons there are hold ups, and now the care worker is on holiday and my husband's mum (in her 80s) is getting increasingly stressed about the situation and ringing my husband up for help...

On top of all this, my BIL has been critically ill in hospital (although thankfully, he seems to be getting slowly better, but it was touch and go for a while). And my dad's house sale, which I've pretty much organised single-handedly, is due to complete next week and I'm run ragged trying to clear the last of the items out of the house. Aargh! It never seems to end... there was SO much stuff! I'll be so happy when I don't have the house to worry about anymore. Dad (with dementia) asks about it all the time of course, and wants to go back, despite being in his lovely care home for over a year now with dreadful memory loss and speech problems. Mind you, he decided the other day that he was going to buy a battery powered bike so he can 'get around a bit'. This is the man who can barely shuffle to the back gate 

Oh poor Dad .... I guess the mind is always willing. My Mums ancient bike is still in her shed and she used it, I guess until,she was in her late  60s.  Every so,often she still says she'd love to get her bike out and go for a spin.

[grumpy2008]

Oh poor Dad .... I guess the mind is always willing. My Mums ancient bike is still in her shed and she used it, I guess until,she was in her late  60s.  Every so,often she still says she'd love to get her bike out and go for a spin.

Thanks... it must be very frustrating for them, and the yearning to go back to younger days so, so strong... which is totally understandable of course. Sometimes in his more lucid moments, dad says it's the sense of freedom he misses most. Being able to drive, ride a bike, walk to the shops and so on.

A couple of months ago he decided he was going to take up fishing again . And he often asks for more money in his wallet, despite having very little opportunity (or need) to spend it. Oh, and one of his latest was a 2-mile hill walk around the farms near the care home, which he'd figured out on his map and was very keen to try out! The mind is definitely willing :-)

[Ju Ju]

Seen my Mum. She's ok. The course of the attack is as normal. She hasn't had  the endoscopy ......it's the weekend of course....she has to wait till Monday. They were concerned about her irregular heart beat, as they were before. Mums not worried about that, as it's nothing new. She's more concerned to have been put in a ward with dementia patients, so has to cope with the noise of one very distressed lady, one aggressive lady and one who will talk only to her toy dog. Poor Mum is well enough to have a gossip and has no one to talk to. Hopefully, they can treat whatever is wrong, probably ulcers, and send her home to recuperate.

Dads fine. I bullied him.  I saw what he had got himself tea. No protein, so suggested some cheese with it. He thought that was a good idea. It turns out he hasn't a clue about diet and food groups and of course mum does the cooking. I shall have to keep an eye on him if something happens to mum. I remember how shocked I was when I discovered Dad, a boffin, didn't know everything. I was a young teen and loved history. Shock, horror, he didn't know who the 6 wives of Henry Vlll!  A balanced diet. Another gap in his education!

[CLKD]

It's a man 'thing' too Ju Ju - would he be helped by having the food groups on different shelves in the fridge: i.e. small plates made up so that he gets used to putting food together?  I believe there is a coloured paper plate idea too, with it marked off into carbs. etc.; things go together, i.e. a piece of fruit with cheese and biscuits, a biscuit with a cuppa/cocoa, meat and 2 veg.; who am I to advice   

[Ju Ju]

I shall have do some educating if need be! Hopefully, Mum will be home in a few days and able to boss him around! But if she died or had to have long term nursing care, then I will step in. DD will help and I suspect my niece will too.

[Ju Ju]

Mum had her endoscopy today, but no results so far.

She and Dad are annoyed that she is being spoken impatiently to by some staff, doctors I think, as if she has dementia. She can be vague when her salt levels are low ( a symptom ) and her hearing is not good, plus she is in a ward where the other patients do have dementia. Mum deserves respect, but so do people with dementia. The nursing staff do seem to be very caring.

[Ju Ju]

Yes, so do I. She's seems well enough to recuperate at home. It will depend on whether she has had a reoccurance of her duedonual ulcers and not something more sinister and if her salt levels are high enough. Her glucose levels have fallen, though not in the ideal range yet. I suspect everything goes topsy turvy whenever she had attacks at home and then level out. Her BP is up and down, but Dad says that's not unusual. He keeps a check on that. The doctors have no idea why her blood pressure plummets so dangerously low, when she has these hive attacks, though maybe her irregular heart beat has something to do with it. Yes, worrying, yet she has far outlived any of her relatives. Her parents died youngish as did all her siblings. I suspect that having a happy marriage and if not rich they, have managed their finances carefully and have had a steady income. Not so, the rest of her family.

[CLKD]

I noticed in recent weeks that when Mum is upset she forgets what is the appropriate word or uses the 'wrong' words.  We have had some bad news in the last few days and she told me yesterday "She had her 3 children B4 you were married" - I think she meant B4 I was born but she insisted it was 'married'  - of course she is correct in one way in that the children were born but it was 35 years B4 I was married 

[Pennyfarthing]

I noticed in recent weeks that when Mum is upset she forgets what is the appropriate word or uses the 'wrong' words.  We have had some bad news in the last few days and she told me yesterday "She had her 3 children B4 you were married" - I think she meant B4 I was born but she insisted it was 'married'  - of course she is correct in one way in that the children were born but it was 35 years B4 I was married 

My Mum has started forgetting birthdays.  She always keeps a diary so I can only think she forgets to look at it.  She is also forgetting who are children, grandchildren etc in family photos.

[CLKD]

Is she aware of 'forgetting'?

[Ju Ju]

Been to scoop dad up to see mum. She's doing well. The endoscopy showed nothing to explain the blood in her vomit. In fact her symptoms confuse the doctors. Trust mum to be different! She is likely to be discharged tomorrow as long as she does 3 wees after having her catheder removed ( hadn't produced the goods so far!) and an ECG shows nothing untoward. I've been bossing dad around! Tongue in cheek though. He does look tired. He goes on the bus when I'm not there and it takes an hour for what only takes 10 minutes in the car, but parking is a nightmare.   

[CLKD]

Does your Dad get to chat on the bus journey Ju Ju?

[Ju Ju]

Does your Dad get to chat on the bus journey Ju Ju?

He goes on the bus when I'm not there usually. It's free, but he won't chat to anyone. I did go once on the bus with him when mum was in hospital the first time, and he will chat away to me. In fact he will chat to me one to one, but not when others are around. He is very introverted and mum is the more outgoing chatty one. When he worked he was a scientific boffin working with things rather than people. He says he would like to be like DH who is an effective communicator, mainly because it makes life easier. But as I pointed out we are all different and his skills are and were if immense value to the world.

Menomale, what a difficult situation. I hope someone can advise you on what to do. Do you have any support from other family members or are there any other people you can talk to? I know very little about Brazil.

[Ju Ju]

Rather superficial then. No friends to off load to?

Mums coming home! Dad rang. Sounded delighted.