I have been known to drive over to Mum's when she hasn't answered the phone or when it's been engaged "permanently." Once the phone was out of order - she realised but had thought of using a neighbour's phone to let us know
and a couple of times it's been because she's forgotten to press the red button to hang up. Once I could hear the tv on and her chatting happily to her sister who was staying!
Mum seems to be doing really well at the moment. The gp has visited her again and has decided not to refer her to the hospital for memory assessment for now as he thinks that she's doing fine. Social services are taking over her care from Tues evening so it'll be interesting to see how that works out. I'll be home on Weds, so the timing is quite good. She asked today where her "files" are - where she files away bank statements, bills etc. She wasn't coping with it since coming out of hospital, so I took them home a few weeks ago and have been doing it. When I said that and then said "I can clear them out and bring them back so that you can start doing it again if you want" she replied "That's a good idea." That's really encouraging, as she'd stopped even trying to understand her post and was just handing it over to me to deal with. i thought things were improving when she queried something from her last bank statement last week - I'd transferred a lump sum from her current account into her ISA - that's the first time she'd actually read one since coming home. The gp did say that she might just be recovering from the stress of the hospital stay. The short term memory problems are still there but then, they were appearing before all this happened.
I do discuss things with her and advise her on things - like not walking over to the shops on her own yet but waiting till I can go with her a couple of times to make sure that it's not too far - but when it comes down to it, it is her life and it's important that she enjoys it as best she can. My heart has leapt a couple of times when she's mentioned things like knocking over a plant and cleaning up the spilt soil and cleaning out her bird bath but in her 90s, she surely has the right to live life how she wants to. Wrapping her up in cotton wool (or trying to!) may give her a bit longer but being happy
now is surely what matters? Knowing her as I do, being independant will keep her happy and healthy much longer than feeling that she's got to wait for someone else to do everything.
Bette x