Ive always had fears about cancer, because when i was very young, my mother cared for a lady next door to us, who had cancer, and i would hear her talking to my dad about her condition and i remeber this frightening me, because i knew she was going to die, it was awful. i wasnt supposed to know alll the details, so i couldnt really talk about it with my mother, and over the years, as i said, lots of people i came in contact with had had experiances of losing someone, at 14, i met a male friend in a park one day, and his mother died of cancer when he was ten, we became very close friends, he was in a home, coz his dad kept trying to kill himself, which when my friend became an adult, his dad finally succeeded, my mothers new sister in law lost her neice through cancer, she was 14 bless her, and basically, all the trauma has freaked me out, and been to much for me to cope with, with going through the menopause, i find im more emotional and very very sensitive, and i lose myself more in past memories, i really do feel taht things have been resurfing so i can deal with things and move on, i went to my doctor two weeks ago, as i was a mess, so shes reffered me to a councillor and blames the way i feel on teh menopuse, but since finding this site, im feeling much better now, and just need to talk things through, talkinga bout things really help me, and just knowing that good people liek yourself are here to listen and to care...
