Of course you don't have to put up with feeling like this.
Firstly I am sorry for the loss of your sister, that must be incredibly painful, and in the setting of something potentially hormone related it does understandably change the psychological landscape.
(Slightly different situation but I am a non carrier within a BRCA family).
Those blood results at that snapshot in time do support reasonable absorption, however it doesn't mean you are therapeutic all the time, particularly if using gel, which can lead to a high initial peak on absorption and then drop off quickly.
My advice if the NHS are struggling to optimise your treatment, as is frequently the case with those needing more individualised treatment rather than the bog standard low-fixed-dose-one size-fits-all approach, would be to try and see an independent specialist like Dr Louise Newson, Dr nick Panay or the clinic started by the late Professor Studd.
You don't mention a progestogen, but I am guessing with your family history and bleeding you are on something pretty potent, which may also impact on psychological wellbeing.