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[pkstracy]

Hi ladies I am fairly new to this forum. I am 51,  about to be 52 in March and no children, I have been going through peri I think since I was 46. I am so over the symptoms, the anxiety, mood swings, join aches, I don't get hot flashes, I get cold chills, yes that can be a symptom as well, and there are times if I laugh, cough, sneeze, I am wetting myself, the brain fog, the depression, and the feeling that I lost myself, lost who I was and  I am tired of worrying about my periods like are they going to be heavy this time, or lasting longer, if I don't have one for while I am like okay when will it come on, like right now I am on day one and just having very little blood, I can get away with just wearing a pantyliner and now my anxiety is making me think there is something wrong. I have had this before and it stopped after three days, I once went 10 months without a period about to hit the 11th month and I was so happy then bam got my period, I was told the average age for periods to be done was 51, I call B.S. on that. I don't have another woman to talk to, my mom died last year at 67 due to a non cancerous brain tumor that caused dementia, she got diagnosed at 56 and we didn't really talk about periods or menopause at all. My aunts, nope no one talks or talked about it, my mother in law, hers just stopped one day, she didn't have any menopause or perimenopause symptoms at all, heck she didn't get her period, she told me until she was 17 years old and then went on to have six healthy children. I don't want to complain as I am thankful my symptoms aren't worse. I just want this to be over already.  Sorry for this post I just needed to vent.

[JS79]

Aww PK 😪. I'm 45 and been going through these symptoms for 3yrs, although only been diagnosed the last four months.
I too get the chills, I explained that it was like ice packs suddenly in my arm pits.
I'm the same with family being of the generation not to talk about these things but I have a cousin 2yrs younger than me going through similar so it's nice to chat to her. We live in different towns so weird the different approaches our GPs have.
I don't know how long these last, and no idea what life looks like postmeno but I hope it feels better than it does just now. Take care

[bombsh3ll]

Hi, there is absolutely no need to live like that, it sounds utterly miserable!

Your GP can prescribe hormonal treatment that can completely stop your periods dead if you wish, as well as relieve all the symptoms due to low estrogen.

Even if the bleeding stops on its own you will remain in menopause with very low estrogen for the rest of your life, so there's no point in waiting and suffering.

[CLKD]

U vent away!


There is no 'correct' time when periods stop.  51 is what medics like to believe.  My periods waxed and waned for several years from early 40s, I knew it was The Change so didn't worry.  As I was already taking anti-depressant medication I didn't suffer as much then as I might have done!

I had chills when I took 'tamoxifen', after 36 hours after the 1st tablet I thought that I had the 'flu!!!!  I also had chills down my back each evening for a few months after my bath, accompanied by itching.  As oestrogen levels drop the body may become dry: inside and out!

Is there a Nurse Practitioner at your Surgery who knows about perimenopause because many GPs still don't understand the ins and outs!   Let us know how you get on, U do not have to suffer.

[CrispyChick]

I wish it was always as simple as that Bombshell.

I'm at the 8 year mark. Been absolutely hell. I hear you. I've had symptoms so bad that I'm now off my work.

By all means go and speak to your GP and try hormonal aids,big that's what you want. I've tried everything and nothing helps me.  but we keep going. Because that's what we do. 

[Nas]

We have to keep going Crispy, what choice is there? 

[CrispyChick]

Absolutely none Nas. 

[DottyD68]

I agree with you CrispyChick.

Although it can help, HRT isn't the magic bullet to resolve all symptoms. Many of the posts on this forum are ladies trying to get the elusive winning formula over many years. I think expectations needs to be managed about HRT being the golden ticket. It certainly hasn't been for me.

[pkstracy]

Oh my gosh I am in tears at all the kind words, I am doing this naturally no HRT or anything. I even weaned myself off my antidepressants and using CDB to help with my anxiety. It was a rough year for me not only did my mom die but I lost six other people all within months of each other and then I had to put my cat down in Nov of last year, and then my dog in Jan my dog was elderly and was very ill, we did all we could to save her. I am dealing with a lot of grief of eight deaths in a year and it took it's toll on me emotionally, I am in therapy and am looking into a grief support, I live with agoraphobia so it'a hard for me to get out sometimes. All I can do is take it one day at a time. Thank you all again for your kind words, sending hugs to all of you.

[CLKD]

I had months in the 1990s when I was unable to leave the house, even going into the back garden was impossible.  Why did U wean off your ADs, without mine I wouldn't get out of bed.  Would you not take medication for i.e. diabetes?

Is the CBD helping?  At all?

I deal OK at the time, it's months after an event that I react  .  Be kind to yourself!  If U had £M/$ would you have been able to do more for your dog?

R U Stateside?

[DottyD68]

Sorry to hear what an awful year you have had pkstracy. I can relate to some of the things you have said - I have also been dealing with a lot of grief for the past few years which, on top of the menopause, is very difficult to manage. I have come to the conclusion that we are at a stage of our lives/age where these things happen and I was just not at all prepared for any of it. The best advice that I have had is to take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. Sometimes easier said than done but it does help.
Look after yourself. X

[pkstracy]

In answer to why I went off my meds, I felt worse on them then off them, I was more suicidal, CBD, Meditation and Therapy as well as hypnotherapy helps me a lot, in answer to someone's question if it were life threatening I would totally take my meds.

DottyD68 sending you so many hugs right now.

CLKD, my dog was 14 years old, blind, deaf, stopped eating, was having seizures, we tried everything to help her, her poor little body was just too tired to go and I don't want her to suffer anymore, I have had her since she was three months old, she was my baby, I am in the United States and I have pet insurance, even the vet said it was time.

okay ladies is this part of peri, I thought I was going to start the day before yesterday I had like bloody discharge that I normally get right before my period, then yesterday I was wiping faint blood all day, then towards evening it turned brownish, like towards the end of the period, I checked with a qtip up there to see if the blood would be bright red, it came out brownish..but nothing when I wipe and nothing in the pad. this is like what is towards the end, did I have a very short period? Or is this my body getting ready for a full on one in the next few days, I am so confused, no pain, no cramps nothing going on I feel great actually. I have had a few periods where i would be wiping faint pinkish and nothing in pad or even a flow, this is the same but the blood is brownish now, as I said like you get towards the end.

[CLKD]

My dog became senile at the age of 12-ish and I wasn't able to do anything more when she reached the end a few days B4 her 14th birthday.  "If It Should Be .......... " is worth reading, it got me through the decision that I had to make.

Sometimes medications do the opposite of what they are designed for, my neighbour goes hyper on Propranolol for example.

My periods were as you describe.  At the end of each I would have two days without a show, then a day of brown staining.  Normal 4 me so I never worried.  At peri they waxed and waned  and I didn't stop carrying protection until 5 years after the last bleed!  On an in case basis  .  Each of us is different, keeping a mood/food/symptom diary helps some women to keep track.

It's due to there not being 'enough' hormone to push the final blood through so it kind of gets stuck.  If this is 'normal for you' then try not to worry too much.

Let us know how you get on.

[DottyD68]

Yes pkstracy, my "bleeds"/discharge started becoming browner, drier and stringier  although I did get some pink and some red discharge too. It's quite disturbing when you see it but I believe it is quite common. There are so many changes happening all the time it is no wonder we get Health Anxiety. That's why it is called "The change" I suppose!

[pkstracy]

CLDK and Dotty Thank you, Dotty do you mean towards your final one ? I am hoping this is the case. I am not to concerned about it but yeah my periods have started freaking me out in the last few years as I am going through the "Change" I remember having this one other time and a few times before that it was just pinkish spotting,  CLDK, sending you hugs about your dog. I am so sorry.