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[Elliebee]

I used my husbands BUPA health cover to speak with a BUPA GP this morning. This has freaked me out even more as she suggested being referred to GI consultant for further tests ! Told her I was pretty sure the blood was from the paper cut as I could see it when I used mirror to look as I  patted it with wet cotton pad but she said best not to assume. Mentioned that I had done a FIT test in March as part of national bowel screening which was negative and one for GP back in late 2021 again negative.
I know threshold is different for GP Fit tests.
I am going to try and get an earlier GP appointment to get a better informed diagnosis.
I feel sick 🤢

[Penguin]

It sounds like she is covering her back as she hasn't seen you in person rather than there being anything to actually worry about. If the cut was visible and you saw the blood and it was bright red then there is nothing to worry about. Really, truly, this is not a thing and your anxiety has made it bigger than it is.
What I think you need help with is your health anxiety. Please mention this to your GP when you get an appointment or this papercut thing will resolve and you'll like move on to the next thing. Been there, I know xx

[Elliebee]

Thank you Penguin. I’m trying to
stay calm and reassure myself that what I saw was right ! My husband,bless him, looked at the area yesterday and said it looked like a very small abrasion on skin . I’m now worried GP will send me for more tests which I absolutely dread . My health anxiety is always worse in this part of cycle so trying to think rationally is impossible 😬
I’ve had CBT for my HA but hasn’t really helped. How did you overcome or manage yours ?

[Penguin]

Thank you Penguin. I’m trying to
stay calm and reassure myself that what I saw was right ! My husband,bless him, looked at the area yesterday and said it looked like a very small abrasion on skin . I’m now worried GP will send me for more tests which I absolutely dread . My health anxiety is always worse in this part of cycle so trying to think rationally is impossible 😬
I’ve had CBT for my HA but hasn’t really helped. How did you overcome or manage yours ?

I haven't really, I am a work in progress. Tried citalopram, then added in hrt, neither really worked. Finally have paid privately to see a psychiatrist and I believe this is the game changer for me, he has me off the citalopram and onto a different one, but with support while I transition. I also stopped hrt as my levels came back so high for both E and P that it was surely contributing to it rather than helping as the estrogen spikes were horrendous as were the 12 days i had to do progesterone. I've tried all the natural routes for anxiety, plus various talking therapies and two rounds of CBT, and I could reel off a whole list of things that may work for some people but weren't sufficient for my looping, obsessional thoughts. Hoping this new drug helps, I do have glimpses of feeling better on occasions now and not like there is something seriously wrong with me which the psych says is a good indicator it is the right one for me.
If you can get in with your GP ASAP and they can see for themselves, or you can show the pic on your phone  hopefully that'll be an end to it. Or they may ask you to do another fit test. Bear in mind the GP threshold is much lower (10 or 20 depending where you live) vs the bowel screening threshold of 120 in England. Either way, I'm confident it'll be fine. When I get really bad I (and my husband) do my best to remind myself that this is a mental health issue rather than a physical one.
BTW, it's fine that you've started a new thread for the update xx

[Elliebee]

Hi Penguin it’s just so awful I cannot cope with even the smallest health niggle !

Still trying to get through to Gp

[Ayesha]

Sometimes through anxiety you can dig yourself into a deep hole, I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about and the area is just susceptible to these kind of skin breaks.

[Elliebee]

Sometimes through anxiety you can dig yourself into a deep hole, I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about and the area is just susceptible to these kind of skin breaks.

I just feel so low and fed up !! Cannot concentrate on anything and just want to curl up in a ball and cry !

[Elliebee]

I have managed to get a face to face appointment with a GP tomorrow afternoon. I’m so worried 😧

[DottyD68]

Sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious Elliiebee. I can totally relate - anything to do with health and medics throws me totally off track. It is totally irrational but very difficult to manage. I have been doing Mindfulness with an App called Headspace for a number of years and is does help in these situations - maybe you can look at trying something similar for the longer term.

In terms of tomorrow, as worried as you are, at least you don't have to wait long to find out if it is anything to worry about. I'm sure it isn't (if it is what I sometimes get) and hopefully by this time tomorrow you will be feeling reassured (& probably exhausted).

Hope it goes ok x

[Elliebee]

Sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious Elliiebee. I can totally relate - anything to do with health and medics throws me totally off track. It is totally irrational but very difficult to manage. I have been doing Mindfulness with an App called Headspace for a number of years and is does help in these

situations - maybe you can look at trying something similar for the longer term.

In terms of tomorrow, as worried as you are, at least you don't have to wait long to find out if it is anything to worry about. I'm sure it isn't (if it is what I sometimes get) and hopefully by this time tomorrow you will be feeling reassured (& probably exhausted).

Hope it goes ok x

Thank you Dotty . I’m going to have an early night and listen to some calming meditation. Was going to watch the Chelsea Flower show but cannot concentrate. I’m going there on Friday so I’m really hoping the GP does agree it’s a tear/fissure from examination although I think it’s gone now and from my photos ! The thought of having to do more screening tests makes me feel physically sick .

[Ayesha]

Hope the Chelsea Flower show is better in real life than what I have seen so far on the telly.
Hope it goes well for you today 

[Elliebee]

Hope the Chelsea Flower show is better in real life than what I have seen so far on the telly.
Hope it goes well for you today 

Thank you Ayesha .
Just back home from GP. He looked at the photos and said it was typical of a small anal fissure. He also examined me and could see it and said it was healing. It was a bit redder today after having to use the cheap loo roll in work this morning!
He gave advice to use stool softners when I’m constipated which is usually one a day or two before my period or rather scant spotting is due. Up fibre and drink lots of water. It’s the drinking water that I don’t do enough !!

[Elliebee]

Thank you ladies for all your help and reassurances yesterday. I’m never using the BUPA GP again !

[Ayesha]

So pleased it went well for you. Yes, anxiety can make us lose all sense sometimes!

[Elliebee]

So pleased it went well for you. Yes, anxiety can make us lose all sense sometimes!

It just makes it impossible to look at things rationally!