Hi lor
Sorry to hear about your discomfort on starting vaginal oestrogen.
The first thing I would say is that for women who are not already on HRT and especially if post-menopausal, because the vaginal tussues are so thin and atrophy has set in, it can take some while for the vaginal oestrogen to become effective and that may well include initial discomfort, in a body that has not had extra oestrogen for some time.
Research has shown that there is some systemic absorption of oestrogen initially, and this especially will be what some women are experiencing as side effects, but once the tissues are plumped up properly, then the absorption is minimal. Those of us already on systemic HRT or who are peri-menopausal are unlikely to notice any systemic side effects due to the tiny amount of oestrogen being absorbed - negligible compared with the amount in HRT, or our own oestrogen if still fertile and with our own natural cycle going on.
The initial "loading" period of time (for taking local oestrogen daily until tissues are plumped up and dosage can be reduced to the lower maintenance dose) is recommended at two weeks but for some women it takes three weeks or even longer, so I urge you to see if you can tolerate some side effects for say 4 weeks and see if they subside?
The other thing is, Ovestin is often recommended but there is another estriol cream which is TEN TIMES WEAKER that estriol, so is given in larger doses, but may not lead to the same amount of irritiation. This is known as Estriol 0.01% cream (Ovestin which is discontinued under that brand name, is now a generic known as Estriol 0.1 % cream - very confusing). You might like to try the weaker one if you haven't already done so.
Imvaggis is a waxy estriol pessary which may well be gentler on your tissues than the Vagifem, because the waxy substance melts in your vagina so itself provided a bit of lubrication in addition to the estriol. I haven't tried these though I used to use some similar pessaries years ago, before I started systemic HRT, and found them very good.
There are tablets too for those who can't tolerate anything internal.
All the products are listed here:
https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/local.phpIntimacy aside - and that's your decision - vaginal atrophy issues don't get better on their own so even without intimacy there can be increasing dryness, discomfort, itching, infections etc with age so the sooner you find something you can tolerate, the better.
Your GP should work with you to find a product that suits you.
Hope this helps and all the best
Hurdity x