Oh Gosh Robin,
you must be feeling so upset. It is quite common for experts to have differing opinions. They should really have taken a biopsy to check . That is the recomended protocol as far as I'm aware.
I can only suggest that you go private to a dermatologist specialising in the vulva. I can recomend Victoria Swale.
https://www.thelondonclinic.co.uk/consultants/dr-victoria-swaleOr and try your local GUM / sexual health clinic. As they can diagnose and take swabs same day. Look them up in your area online and I know lots of ladies who have had sucess with ruling out and diagnosis.
The trouble is you feel so vulnerable at the time. Sounds like they had no understanding of how a woman feels after years and months of discomfort . It makes me so angry.
Dr Swale writes to your GP with recomendations etc.
I would not ignore the changes, because they more than likely will not improve on their own.
Once you know what you are dealing with you will feel more in control.
I would also if you are up to it call the clinic where you went and explain clearly that you came away more confused and concerned and was given 2 different opinions and no further diagnosis and can someone call you and clarify?
This may be worth a quick look and it states at the bottom that referal to vulval dermatologist should happen or gynae with expertise . Personally I would want a dermatologist if it is the outside skin as they are the experts in skin.
https://cks.nice.org.uk/topics/pruritus-vulvae/management/management/If you need to PM me please do.
PMXX