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[CLKD]

Morning.  Don't talk with your GP, ask for the referral ;-).  Also, keeping a mood/symptom/food diary may be useful. 

It can be Trial and Error finding out ways of coping with the various problems that fluctuating hormones can cause.

[Wrensong]

Maddie, it's great to know your GP is so kind & supportive and I would keep channels of communication open with her so that she can continue to support you long term & you don't suddenly feel alone with the situation if/when you are discharged from the clinic.  I think you said it's a new scenario for her too, so if she is learning along with you this will help her to support other menopausal patients in the future. 

My 'healthy' weight was 7.5 stone.  I'm now about 7 (I think--no scales in the house but the nurse weighed me three weeks ago and that's what I was) and I don't think the rest is coming back to be honest.

I know how you feel but don't give up hope.  Once you are feeling better on HRT & become stable in the longer term, I think your body should be less stressed & this could help with weight gain.  I'd all but given up thinking I would ever get back to my higher pre-peri weight & it's only happened in the past couple of years, but it's pleasing that it has been possible & makes me worry a bit less about the helplessness of having been more underweight for so long.  I do have osteopenia & it would be great to gain enough to help prevent it progressing to osteoporosis & perhaps get rid of the persistent symptoms that HRT has not resolved to date, so I sympathise with your bone health concerns & would urge you to do what you healthily can in terms of diet, to increase your BMI.  Also build some weight bearing exercise into your routine & be careful that what exercise you do do doesn't burn off too many calories!

Do you only lose weight when you eat less?

No, it happens when I'm stressed & sometimes for no obvious reason - I rarely weigh myself as it's always dispiriting to see it's less than ideal, but I tend to notice when my watch starts slipping down my wrist or my jeans start to feel loose.  In peri from early on, the scary muscle loss was most obvious in legs & arms which frankly became stick thin & looked horrendous.  The stone I lost in those years seemed inexplicable except for the stress of symptoms, but I suspect the gynae hormone chaos of that decade was also upsetting my thyroid balance.  TFTs were always within range but I wasn't convinced my thyroid meds were right at times as the symptoms of thyroid over-treatment are similar to many of those of menopause - extreme heat intolerance, long lasting night sweats, insomnia, palpitations, anxiety & of course weight loss is not often a symptom of menopause.  The thyroid complication added to the worry of whether it was simply menopause causing the symptoms, medics were unnervingly unsure what was going on & I was terribly afraid of being inadvertently over-treated as that's detrimental to heart, bones, kidneys etc if it continues long term, not to mention the fact I felt horrendous for the duration. 

I'm not sleeping very well at the moment.  The anxiety seems to be worse over the last few days (less testosterone?).  Of course that starts a vicious cycle as you start to worry about not getting enough sleep! 

  Absolutely & so many of us frustratingly have that particular T shirt in all the colours, but if you can compensate by getting as much rest, relaxation & diversion as possible on a regular basis, this will help your fight or flight response get out of overdrive & should lead to better sleep in the long term.

Hope it goes well with the GP today.
Wx

[CLKD]

Let us know how you get on?

[Maddie21]

Hello, thanks for the lovely replies.  I spoke to my GP and she was lovely and supportive (as always) and is referring me back to the menopause clinic.  This is to discuss my HRT and also in order to get referred to the trichology clinic.  She thinks I might not make it back to work at the beginning of June as I was planning and not to put too much pressure on myself to meet that deadline.  It took nearly two months for my initial menopause clinic appointment to come round so the appointment might take a wee while, although a phone appointment might be faster I suppose.  She also thinks my hair loss could still be caused by the Conti patches, even though I've not had them on for a month, so I can still hope that the change of HRT will help it. 

Wrensong--it's so good to hear from someone who also struggles to put on weight.  I tried weight training when I was in my early twenties and weighed less than seven stone and hated looking so skinny, but nothing happened!  I eventually put on weight in my late 20s when my metabolism slowed down a lot--I also had a smaller appetite after that which was a relief.  I've never been more than 8 stone though.  Still getting back to 7.5 would be nice.  I'll keep hoping!  Totally agree about weighing yourself being dispiriting.  I used to weigh myself obsessively so I learned not to have scales in the house.

I'm having a better day today.  Knowing that tomorrow I'll have my first acupuncture session in nearly four months is probably helping!  I'm also getting my first jag on Thursday--relief! xx

[CLKD]

I get weighed twice a year when the Surgery is running as normal.  I might occasionally get onto the 3 sets of bathroom scales, then choose the weight I prefer that particular day 

I know by the belt in my jeans ;-); the lowest I got was 5st. 2lb and the highest slightly under 9st.  It took 14 months to get back to 8st, I'm now 7st. 5lb. 

[Kathleen]

Hello Maddie21 and welcome to the forum.

My menopause was also sudden and I am only eight stone ringing wet lol. My periods were normal and regular so when I missed one month I assumed more would follow eventually. Well one month turned into five then I had a bit of spotting for a few days and that was it, post meno! If I had a peri menopause I didn't notice it. Like you my symptoms soon made themselves known and I agree that the body can go into a kind of shock.

I see your Dr has advised you not to put yourself under pressure to return to work in June. It may be that your HRT will work it's magic on your anxiety by then but if it doesn't you may need more time to adjust.

Wishing you well.

K.

[Wrensong]

The GP appt sounds positive & reassuring  .

Wrensong--it's so good to hear from someone who also struggles to put on weight.

Actually it's something I feel embarrassed about when so many people really struggle to lose it.  There can also be the assumption it's by choice which is upsetting & can get wearing to have to repeatedly dispel, especially with medics.

I tried weight training when I was in my early twenties and weighed less than seven stone and hated looking so skinny, but nothing happened!

  I was thinking primarily of the importance of weight bearing exercise for your bone mineral density.  I lift light hand weights in downtime while I'm cooking & use a resistance band in a short routine devised by a physio who also showed me how to do box pressups, which you elongate gradually until you get strong enough to do standard pressups  .

It's mostly medical appts where I learn my weight these days.  Have to ask for it in old money when they come out with kgs!

Glad your day's been better.  Hope you'll feel better for the acupuncture too.

Please keep us updated if you feel like it.
Wx

[Maddie21]

Hi everyone, thanks for the replies  .  I had my first acupuncture appointment in four months yesterday, and it did everything I wanted it to and more!  Feeling pretty great today.  My brain felt clearer by bed-time, and through the night I woke up and realised that my vagina felt the healthiest it's done for months.  The anxiety is still there a bit, but it's a lot better.  I'm expecting things to slip back a wee bit as it's only one treatment after so long, but once I've been back for a few weeks I think things should settle.  If I can even get back to how I was pre-lockdown, that will be good, but at that time I was on a lower oestrogen dose so hopefully I will be doing even better than that.  It all makes me feel hopeful for going back to work in June.

CLKD, I love the idea of three different scales  .  It's always interesting to me to hear from people who have similar issues with their weight.  7lb 5 would be great and maybe I will get there as my body recovers.

Hi Kathleen, thank you so much!  It's so wonderful to hear from someone with the same experience.  I didn't have any spotting and could feel that everything had gone 'dead' straightaway.  I think that my body might still be in shock a bit and that maybe that is why my weight is still lower and my hair is still falling out.  Did you/do you take HRT?  If you feel comfortable with sharing, what kind and dose suited you?  I've got another appointment at the menopause clinic coming up to discuss HRT and my ongoing symptoms.  How long ago was your menopause?  Are things more settled for you now?  I've been off work since the madness started in August, which is a loong time, and am desperate to get back and feel more 'normal' again.

Hi Wrensong, medics have actually always been fine about my weight.  I have a really tiny 'frame' and I had some fat on me!, so I think to them I never looked unhealthy.  I used to obsess about it though when I was younger and below 7 stone, and other women can be unkind I've found (sometimes we are not kind to each other ), which was upsetting.  It's certainly not by choice as eating more does nothing, but it is hard to talk about when losing weight is a life-long struggle for so many people and society makes it harder all the time to win that struggle.  The weight-bearing exercise is a brilliant idea so I am definitely going to get into a routine with that.  Lifting tins and sugar etc while cooking is easy to fit in.  I might ask the consultant for more ideas!  A physio appointment would be great.

Going to treat myself to a bookshop trip today while I'm feeling so well.  Thanks again so much for all your replies and kind thoughts.  Today is a good day  .x

[CLKD]

Enjoy the book shop.  We went to 4 charity shops on Saturday, came home loaded.  Don't do too much when feeling well or you will wear yourself out!  I have to pace myself  - hence the books, a sheltered spot from the wind in our garden and ...........

[Wrensong]

Lifting tins and sugar etc while cooking is easy to fit in.

  Yes, easy to do a few mins in time that would otherwise be wasted, waiting for pots to boil etc & feels less of a chore than having to find time especially for it.  I find tins & packets can be hard to grip but I bought 1kg & 2 kg weights from Decathlon & leave them by the kettle so I can't forget .  You can get them from Argos too.  Be careful not to strain anything if they feel heavy at first - the 2kg can be surprisingly tiring with repetition, depending on the type of lift    But it is empowering, as after a while you can see muscle growth & feel that strength has improved.  Important to keep up with it too - I've had to stop for a few months at a time following surgery & strength soon declines.  The resistance element of some forms of exercise also helps to maintain bone, not just resistance band workouts, but rowing & cycling uphill, into wind or on an exercise bike with a degree of resistance that feels like pedalling uphill without the coasting down the other side !  But if you do anything like that be careful not to do too much & lose weight.