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[Justjules]

Hi. Hope you don’t mind me rambling on here. Post meno 8 years but still getting flashes but that’s about all but I’ve got the most horrendously out of control health anxiety and I’m currently convinced I’m dying of cancer. Stomach issues started over stressful year with my Mum last year, plus burnout by January. Had a bit of a breakdown. Stomach issues are usual for me when stressed but this time they’re weirded in that I’m averaging only 4 hours sleep a night then wake up about 3am, feel okay but obviously don’t want to be awake, then about 4am to 5am get a really weird tummy,  ant describe the feeling but sort of unease all across the top half, feel dreadful with it then once I get up about 8am it passes off so thinking maybe cortisol related....then because of being so worried and stressed, eating has been hard and then I feel afterwards that I’ve not digested it, more after the small evening meal I now have, and that makes me feel awful until it feels like it’s passed through the intestine.  Because I’m feeling so ill with the anxiety and then feeling ill with the stomach issues, I can’t see that it’s going to be anything else but the dreaded ‘C’ word.... I know the sensible answer is to have tests but I’m terrified with a capital T. I spoke to dr last week but he gave me ADs which I’ve not taken and didn’t seemed to concerned as I nothing was getting stuck and I didn’t feel sick etc. I have lost some weight but that’s normal for me when I’m this bad. I keep catastrophising and seeing myself being told I have pancreatic or stomach cancer and I want to run away. I’m literally paralysed with fear as I don’t think I could cope. I can’t do this treadmill every day as I have been for the last few months. I feel like a basket case at the moment. It’s now coming up to Easter and I’m worried that I may end up in hospital with skeleton staff and being alone away from family but to wait for consultations and tests is also terrifying me. I need answers now but I know that’s not really possible.

Sorry but I needed to get this out today. It’s not really meno related but mental. Saw my counsellor the other day and she was great but just told to work on mental health and do mindfulness stuff and meditation but I’m too wound up for it. 😥

[CLKD]

I have emitophobia which has influenced my eating patterns since the age of 3.  I would even dream about it 

....... and breath.  Your gut may be empty so when it gets a meal you are aware of it going through the system, I could lay in the bath and watch my wind from the belly button down ........ until    

My trick has been for years to eat little and often, slow release foods - bananas, dried fruits and nuts, porridge; thin redybrek [any1 remember that  ].  B4 my body feels hungry.  It's an Art Form!

The big 'C' - many people are diagnosed and successfully treated - I had breast disease in the 1990s, still here.  The anxiety then was around whether a panic attack would stop me attending my daily radiation sessions: they didn't.

Make sure that you drink enough.  I found when really ill that an Oxo cube dissolved in hot water in a mug was useful, as I began to recover I added rice to bulk it up.  DH cooked the same bland chicken mix night after night for weeks  .  Once I found foods that didn't make me feel worse, I stuck with them!!

It is so easy for these counsellors to say 'mindfulness' helps.  NOPE!  I couldn't relax enough to practice the relaxation tapes [remember those?].  What I did do was go shopping at less busy times which still helps keep the anxiety under control, once my gut lurches that's it! I'm away home.

What do you eat in the day?

[Justjules]

Porridge for breakfast then a smoothie with banana and yoghurt and more oats mid morning. Can then just manage either half a sandwich or some oatcakes and hummus or pate and an apple then a very small evening meal of some chicken and veg or rice with a few veg.

[marge]

Fellow health anxiety sufferer here JustJules, l absolutely understand your fears. I had a couple of weeks of stomach issues (self diagnosed as stomach cancer), followed by upper back pain (lung cancer) and on it goes. This week l’ve been fine and pain free. In my case, it’s definitely ‘all in the mind’ though at the time, l’m in a terrible state. The weather has been great, so l’m out in the garden and all my worries evaporate. Just want you to know you’re far from alone.

[CLKD]

You may be eating too much porridge?  Slow release it might be but I would leave the smoothie with banana until mid-morning?  Porridge and yoghurt for breakfast.  I think your lunch is fine as is your evening meal. 

2 much roughage can cause all kinds of problems 

[Justjules]

I did wonder about the oats but I struggle to eat breakfast so it goes down quick and easy. Fruit and yoghurt gives me reflux.

I know Marge, it’s such a curse. I just want to be like normal people, go and get stuff checked and get in with it but no, I have to make myself ill or more ill before I do. Add in depression and apathy on top and that’s not a great combination.

[CLKD]

I don't think that you have anything particular deadly.  Health Anxiety can be overwhelming. 

" smoothie with banana and yoghurt " - do these give you heartburn  or have I missed something?

[Justjules]

I hope not but because I feel really ill in the small hours and then can’t eat normally, your mind goes to some dark places...

I seem to be able to eat the smoothie ok but if I had a bowl of berries and banana for instance, can’t eat it like that.

[CLKD]

Yep.  The mind certainly can : mine head tells me "I can't take any more of this".  Over and over.  DH is shouting 'your body is hungry'  but if I'm past the point of even fancying food ...... which is why I try to eat B4 my body requires it.  I have biscuits by the bed, you know those ones with a coffee in a cafe? I've found a source ;-)

Also, ginger can help any nausea.  Grazing helps me a lot.