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[racjen]

Yes I'm still stuck here, bored and lonely and desperate to get out. Waiting to see if the combination of Quetiapine and Duloxetine helps with the depression and acute morning anxiety....

[CLKD]

No access to a TV?

[racjen]

Yes but I can't watch TV all the time, I'll go mad...

[CLKD]

Whereas I can watch TV all day long  unless agitated when I have to walk or pace 

[racjen]

I don't even have a TV licence at home - I do watch stuff on Amazon and DVDs, but since being here and watching daytime TV I have to say I'm really shocked by how terrible most of it is, really poor quality mindless rubbish.

[CLKD]

You wouldn't do well in my household -  ........ bet we wouldn't read the same books .....

When poorly I begin with 'homes under the hammer', 'bargain hunt' : after the lunchtime News it's a couple of hours B4 A Place in the Sun, Dickineons' Real Deal, 'escape to the country', that lovely Ben with "Tipping Point" - good for pitting my wits against the questions ;-). 

What would you watch? 

[CLKD]

That takes practice clio51, well done!  I do find if I get out of bed if my mind is ruminating it helps to get into routine: wash, teeth, dressed, breakfast, feed birds.  Things that I don't have to even think about. 

Also I used to sit and wait for the medication to do it's worst  - now I tend to take the tablets and then get on.  Waiting made my brain whirl 

How's the afternoon been racjen?

[racjen]

I did watch Pride and Prejudice the other day, and the Great British Bakeoff which I always get hooked on. But all that homes and holidays stuff bores me rigid I'm afraid. I like a good bit of Crime - watching Cracker on Britbox at the moment, in fact there is quite a lot of good stuff on Britbox, some classic TV series.

I've been on the Quetiapine for about 10 days, then the Duloxetine was added about 5 days ago. Nausea and headaches aren't so bad but I think it's early days to see any improvement yet - I get that horrible first thing in the morning anxiety and it certainly isn't doing anything for that.

One of the other patients has been isolated with possible Covid symptoms, which means none of us can go out or have visitors. So been knitting all afternoon. Hopefully it'll turn out to be negative - I was really hoping to get out of here this week, it's enough to make anyone feel depressed and anxious.

[CLKD]

I wouldn't B in too much of a hurry myself  - Dad always said that he felt 'safe' when in treatment. I would want to be absolutely certain that the regime was working and that my GP would be prepared to support the changes. 

I don't like crime  .  My brain can never keep up!  I've never read/watched any Jane Austin.  Nor Shaekespeare nor War and Peace.  I do like real life stories, read Tony Robinson's latest - no cunning plan - I think that's the title. 

Does that early morning anxiety last as long as previously?  I had a scale : 1-5.  1 meant that I was aware of background anxiety, by 5 I had to take medication. 

[racjen]

I HATE having to be around other people all the time though - adds to my anxiety. And you have to wait till after 8am to get meds - I'm usually awake and anxious from 6am. I find it comes on very quickly after I wake up and is intense enough to be a 5 by your system. ADs can take weeks to work, I'm not hanging around in here that long...

[MIS71MUM]

I’ve read your posts RacJen and wanted to give you my support. Your posts also took me back to a horrible place that I was in in 2015/2016.
I went to places in my head that I never knew existed, it was a horrific experience.
Happily in 2020 - despite the Covid crisis I have a life and am happy.
I also take duloxetine at 40 mg and high doses of oestrogen. 7 pumps per day.
It’s been a long road to get where I am but having a hysterectomy helped me. I don’t need progesterone and that has been the best outcome for me. 
Whatever you decide regarding a hysterectomy, get yourself well first mentally and then decide.

I just wanted to let you know there is always hope x

[CLKD]

Morning.

We are told that ADs may take up to 10 days B4 kicking in, however, it's never been that long 4 me so don't give up hope, try not to hinge on that aspect.  Allow the drug to do it's work.  Have you spoken to the Consultant about mayB having the drug earlier to see whether it alleviates your early morning symptoms? 

I HATE being around others when I'm well  - short bursts of interaction are fine.  We never have anyone visit in case they stay too long if that makes sense?

   MIS71MUM

[racjen]

No they won't change their routine for one person - everybody gets their morning meds at 8am, that's how it works. Mealtimes make me laugh here too - if I could face breakfast it would be 7.30 - 9.30 which is fine, lunch is 12 - 12.30 and then dinner at 5 - 5.30pm. Way too early for me, it's like nursery tea-time. I don't normally eat until 7.30pm at the earliest. So I end up getting mine put back and heating it up later on when I'm actually hungry. That way I also don't have to eat with everyone else which suits me fine....

[CLKD]

All lumped together then!  Not conducive to treating individuals  .  I too hate eating with others when I'm ill.

Many years ago DH and I went to a family anniversary meal on his side.  [I've mentioned these elsewhere].  Because we were working and lived 2 hours' drive away from the venue, we left earlier than others.  His Mother said, in front of everyone else "Nice to see you eating all your lunch today X".  I was furious, still am - 15 years later!  It was "I know X better than anyone else ........ "    She was on a totally different table and I had no idea that she had been watching 

Little steps racjen.  Let the medication do it's work ............

[CLKD]

Hopefully this regime will suit so that once you get home - so that you can take the meds when necessary.

I would love to have friends here to show them our garden, year round but making arrangements causes my gut to roll.   .  But I have found my level most days  when in the 1990s I feared that I would never leave the house nor venture into our garden at the back.