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[corianne]

I shouldn't laugh but 20 minutes - I wish!!  I really do wonder about 'Therapists' sometimes, If they suffered with it they would know how wrong they are..    I have had Anxiety and/or Panic attacks for most days now, It feels as though an alien has moved into my body and is slowly taking control of me.
Nausea - Yes! Weak thighs - Yes! (also weak legs they feel like Jelly!) and the bloody dizziness which won't go, I'll stop there as I sound like I'm ranting!
I am trying to come to terms with the changes, I accept they are going to happen, but it's how to deal with them that I am having problems with, I just don't know what to do for the best!
We Live and Learn!
Thank you
 
xx

 

You have been through it!

Panic attacks are awful.  I had a therapist that told me that the body can't sustain a panic attack for more than 20 mins..   I walked out of the session, never to return.  My longest lasted 2 days I shook so badly that our 4 poster bed.  Moved  .

4 me it starts in the gut with nausea, thighs go weak followed by calves then I'm curled up in a ball.  Awful.  The despair I feel I can't describe.

Browse round.  Tnx for sharing.

HORMONES!  I find that grazing helps rather than letting my body feel hungry.

[corianne]

You are so right! 
It's the lack of control, that I struggle with..the choices (I feel like I have none!) And I don't have many friends who are going through it (and those that are seem to be sailing through ) I have been very honest with people lately, because I have turned into someone even I have difficulty recognising sometimes.
This Forum gives me hope, when I am alone, late at night and the Anxiety won't let me sleep I come on here and find a thread that helps.
I still have problems believing that this will pass, it feels like something must be terribly wrong with me and my body is often at odds with my mind!
But I do live in hope,
Thank you
xx

Hi Corianne,
What a wonderful post, it is very informative, useful & written with a lot of compassion. 
It reminds me of myself in some ways when I was starting off on the meno road to hell (12 years ago now). I'm 62 now & experienced a lot of what you did. Panic attacks, crying, etc. I hated not having any control over it, not having choices & not having any friends who understood. They seemed to be having a few hot flushes & that was it. 
If it hadn't been for this bloody brilliant forum & all the members on here (Poppyrose being one who was fantastic) I'd have been locked up.
It is a very hard time in a womans life. We have to carry on working, raising & supporting our families & friends. All whilst feeling absolutely awful. But we do it. It's hard, it's challenging but I am now a much stronger person than I was before the menopause. I am happier, more relaxed (well most of the time, bit stressed at the moment what with Coronavirus etc) 
You will get through it. Try not to be too hard on yourself - no one is perfect. Don't look too far ahead just take one day at a time. Be open with your family & close friends, tell them how you're feeling & ask them to be patient with you.
It's lovely to have you with us & I'm sure you will indeed come back & read your post & believe me it will inspire you & a lot of others.
Thanks again for posting.
Cazikins x

[corianne]

Hi Tootsie,
It sounds so familiar - Migraines and Jaw ache are linked to stress and Anxiety. I have suffered from migraines for 20 years now, and I was waking up with them and jaw ache, caused by general stress and clenching/grinding my teeth when I was asleep (I was never aware of it during the night) my GP put me on a very small dose of Amitriptaline which relaxed me as I slept, this really does help and I rarely wake up with migraines and painful jaw now, so if it continues for you it might be worth seeing your GP they might just have something that can help you
Please don't be too hard on yourself, anyone with children home at this time deserves a medal (2 medals if you are home schooling them too!) and working too - I am not surprised you feel drained! I have a child with ASD so I know how difficult it can be, have you had any help from the school? It's really difficult to access any help until the child has been formally diagnosed, but I am sure if the school is aware they might have some advice with the homeschooling that might help you?
Going through the Peri menopause takes a huge toll on your mind and body, so please try to have some 'you' time whenever you can, and don't worry if you miss a day or two of homeschooling, do something fun, go for a walk, watch a film or just play, these times are hard enough and having to be a teacher on top of everything else, I honestly don't know how anyone manages it!
Take care, and let me know how you are doing
 
xx
 

Thanks, much of what you said resonates with the bits that I'm experiencing. I'm convinced I've got adrenal fatigue following being ill but starting peri as well as I'm all over the place.
Had horrendous anxiety which now seems to have subsided this last 1.5 weeks. On day 11 of cycle and had awful migraine and jaw ache yesterday and last night was up at 3am needing to take an ibuprofen. Today I'm so drained emotionally and physically.
I'm trying to work and homeschool my 7yo daughter who is very very intense - but we've already had a huge tearful row as she's being really nasty to me (suspected Aspergers and struggles with emotions). Husband at work and all I want to do is have some time alone - as awful as it sounds I've been with my daughter almost continuously and she just doesn't allow me to properly recover from being ill. The current situation is exacerbating things and I'm sure making things harder for us all. :-( Sending strength.

[corianne]

Thank you 
I have looked at Therapy (online for now due to Covid-19) and I am trying to not let my mind and body work against me or each other!, I know I'm not dying really, but then the little voice in my head says "but what if you are??" which then starts it all off again  - It's a battle of wills at the moment, hormones have a LOT to answer for...

I can relate to everything you have said, especially the mind games that the anxiety plays with you. You are not imagining it and definitely not alone.  In a way it makes you anxious because you are anxious and sometimes I have to step back and think, ?yes this is happening but I am not causing it to happen.?  I saw a CBT therapist who said that just because something feels bad, like anxiety, doesn't mean it is bad, it's those pesky hormones which will one day settle down.

[Spanspan1966]

Your account could have been written by me!  I had awful anxiety 3 years ago which is more manageable now. Although I'm nearly 54 I am still peri. Hormones have been awful the last 3 weeks since my period - my first in 2 months. Before this, my cycle reduced to every 18 days which was hell. Recently  I had a tension headache which lasted 2 weeks resulting in me taking this week off to chill. My GP says it's hormones with general tension and anxiety from working from home (in HR - very  challenging with COvid). I'm feeling dizzy and spaced out which worries me and challenges my health anxiety. I'm contemplating HRT following discsuion with my GP who is an ex gynaecologist but not sure.  Sometimes I feel shakey in my stomach - hard to describe. I lose my temper at the smallest of things and am very emotional. I just want ?me? back.  Oh and I get cold hands and feet - not had hot flushes yet. Just night sweats around monthly cycle. 

[Cazikins]

Welcome to the MM forum Spanspan 1966
It's not easy is it? only you can decide if HRT is worth trying. For me it was.
I was in my early 50's & working full time as an admin manager in a manufacturing company that exported fertilizers all around the world - I loved it but needed something to help with the hot flushes, tearfulness & brain fog. It took several different types of HRT to try but after about 3 months I found one.
I'm now 62 & still on a low dose conti tablet. I survived & got through it & so will you.
Keep posting & asking questions we are all in it together & we will get through it.
Cazikins x

[Zowie]

Hi Corianne and other lovely ladies

This is my first post here so I hope it do this correctly 

Thank you so much for taking the time to write your original post.  I've been in perimenopause hell for the past year and was managing ok until February when I started to get lots of the symptoms you've described.  Just before lockdown I saw my GP and she checked everything and said I was ok and prescribed Omeprazole for annoying throat mucus/throat clearing but it just seems to be a new symptom every day.  Today is pre period where I feel like my bra is crushing my ribs (just the strangest feeling).  I've over exercised in the garden over the last two months and put my sacroilliac joint out (according to the chiropracter on the phone) so I feel really sorry for myself and upset and annoyed that I can't get anything checked.  I'm trying not to think about the Covid situation as my family and I are at home (but if I think about it the panic is ridiculous) but my health anxiety is in overdrive normally at Christmas when everything is closed so it's now in hyper overdrive in case I need to see a doctor and can't.  I'm sure we will all come out the other side ok but I'd really underestimated the perimenopause symptoms.  In the past I'd always said "oh I'll be fine with hot flushes" I won't need HRT.  I didn't factor in the other symptoms ... muscle aches, flushes/chills, dry eyes, dry mouth, dry everything, anxiety, migraines, IBS flare ups, crumbs the list goes on!  Anyway, it's lovely to find this forum and your post has made me feel less alone Corianne so thank you! x

[Maria75]

Thank you so much for sharing. I'm 45 in 5 days and have some of your symptoms. I hope you can get on the correct hrt regime to help you. The fluttering heart I had that tonight!! I said to my husband my heart is racing. He just raised an eyebrow.

I got my mirena out today and have been given a sequential oral progesterone. See how that goes along with my estrogen. All the best with this peri, it's a right kick in the guts 

[Cazikins]

Try not to analyse it too much corianne. Nothing is wrong with your body - it's Mother Nature (bless her) doing what comes naturally. We can't do that much about it apart from take it each day at a time, accept it as being normal for a woman of this age & don't look for someone to blame (not sure if any of that makes sense  ).

It will pass eventually, not very soon but things will get better. Just try to think of it like this:
It isn't a life sentence it's something that is "unique" to woman & that makes us very, very special

Love Cazi x

I still have problems believing that this will pass, it feels like something must be terribly wrong with me and my body is often at odds with my mind!
But I do live in hope,
Thank you
xx

Cazikins x

[Itwillpass]

Corianne, I know this thread is almost a year ago but gosh it’s hit home for me  not sure you will even see this but curious as to how things are now as you post was so well written for all us peri women x

[corianne]

Corianne, I know this thread is almost a year ago but gosh it’s hit home for me  not sure you will even see this but curious as to how things are now as you post was so well written for all us peri women x

Hi Itwillpass - I am still here!  I haven't been on the Forum for a while due to things over the past year (mainly having the kids home from school!)I came back to check something and found a message from a wonderful Forum member who mentioned about my post, so I thought I had better reply before the kids drag me off again... I'll do it as a separate post xx

[corianne]

A year later....
Most of the symptoms I had are under gone or under control and the Anxiety, which I think I feared the most - has almost gone 

When the Anxiety Attack started I was on Provera and Estradot, and I am sure the Provera caused what I can only describe as a breakdown, mentally I couldn't cope and spent so much time lying in bed, I couldn't face anyone or do anything. Due to Covid I had to pay to see a Private Gynae who said that  Provera contains a high dose of Progesterone and because it's taken orally only a small fraction of the dose reaches where it's needed (the Uterus) so it's not uncommon for women who are Progesterone intollerant to suffer extreme side effects on it.

I was then prescribed Estrogel and Utrogestan which certainly helped with the Anxiety side of things,
But I had to learn to accept the Anxiety was a common part of the Menopause, and believe that I wasn't going to die. I continued to use the Propanol when I needed them, they really did help - I tried other Anti depressants but didn't like the side effects, so stopped them. I did suffer some horrendous bleeding at this time which turned out to be Adenomyosis - which can be made worse by Estrogen, so I decided to stop the HRT completely to see where my body was naturally and stop the bleeding (which it did)

I think it was just a 'perfect storm' of the perimenopause and the problems that brings, Provera Intollerance and (maybe??) too much Estrogen at the time. 
I am now sure I'm reaching menopause - my periods have become far more infrequent but my symptoms are also far less than what I was suffering a year ago, and I can manage them fairly easily now. I am on HRT but at a lower dose than I was first prescribed and my body seems to have levelled out if that makes sense? I still know I'm going through the menopause, I still get the odd reminder, but compared to where I was a year ago it's like night and day!

Reading through my original post I remembered exactly how I felt then and it was horrendous    I honestly never thought I would get better. I never thought I would be writing the post I am now, so there is hope 

I would just add that don't be afraid to contact your GP, and as many times as necessary  - we tend to be given a prescription then left to it, or made to feel that it's 'just' the menopause and we should get on with it! But I know now that it is so much more than just a word - and how much we women can suffer from it!
xx

[babylou]

Hi Corianne
Thanks so much for posting your peri story. Many of your symptoms ring true with me. The peri/covid/home schooling combination is truly terrible for anxiety for me!

Thankfully my employer is fantastic at supporting women at work, and we have been provided with so much information and support.  I've decided to go along the dietary route for now, and see how I go. I think just the thought of trying something out kind of helps keep my anxiety at bay.

I'm in contact with my GP too, and keeping a diary of symptoms. 

Just hearing stories from others on the forum is reassuring.  Thank you x

[corianne]

Hi Corianne
Thanks so much for posting your peri story. Many of your symptoms ring true with me. The peri/covid/home schooling combination is truly terrible for anxiety for me!

Thankfully my employer is fantastic at supporting women at work, and we have been provided with so much information and support.  I've decided to go along the dietary route for now, and see how I go. I think just the thought of trying something out kind of helps keep my anxiety at bay.

I'm in contact with my GP too, and keeping a diary of symptoms. 

Just hearing stories from others on the forum is reassuring.  Thank you x

When I felt at my worst I think I lived on this Forum  It was there in the middle of the night (and day) when I needed reassurance, an answer or just some hope! I didn't always post, but knowing I could search for something or find someone who had gone through what I felt only affected me, that was a godsend! I do hope things get better for you, it sounds like you have a wonderful employer which must help so much, I am self employed and my boss is a moody cow (I think she might be menopausal.. ) xx

[Luchielene]

Corianne,

thank you so much for sharing your story, it has been exactly the same for me, awake in the middle of the night, racing heart, feeling panicky and disassociated from everything.
And extreme mood fluctuations. I am on HRT now and I really hope the anxiety will get better, I try to rationalize but cannot cope with it.
I would be very happy if my hair grew back too, I had thick luscious hair and now my hair looks limp and dull. That the hairdressers have been closed for ages does not help.
I knew menopause would come early for me, but I was not prepared for this.
I have got so much respect for all the women that have faced this and those who are going through this.
We truly are a force of nature.

Stay strong and hopeful!