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[Jacqui316]

Hi,

I am new here (well first post but have been reading other posts for about a week now). I started out alright with the change, certainly for the first 12 months. I have had the night sweats and hot flushes, as well as minor bladder issues.

Now though I think this coupled with pain from osteoarthritis (waiting for a knee replacement) is starting to get a little much. I want to feel normal, but I am not sure what that is. I have good colleagues, and strange as it may sound it is a male colleague who has really been there for me most. The female colleagues want to try and understand, but they have not experienced the menopause and like so many think it is something to just cope with.

I think most of all I need to know this is not just me, and my frustration at being told to accept what is happening and it will get easier is not a bad reaction to someone. This forum has already helped me, just being here and reading has already shown me that there is much information we are lacking in this inevitable stage of our lives.

Jacqui

[jaynej]

Hi Jacqui316

I am new here too and like you am feeling the symptoms of wonderful woman-hood!  It is so great to hear that you have support at work, it is so important.  My HR manager was super supportive but did say he may have to do a 'risk assessment' which felt a bit odd.... it's a small company so I am not sure he has dealt with this before so I laughed it off and said that it would just tell him that I need to be kept away from pointy things!! 

Anyway, I wanted to say Hi as I am on here and you have posted.  What I learnt from my investigation and from reading this site is that it isn't me.... or you - it's the dancing hormones funking out to 'Disco Inferno'. 

For me, being healthy is really important so when my body started to do strange things I felt really out of control - but I've had to rethink that mind set and now I stop and just let it do what it has to do.  I breathe and refocus and things seem to settle in my mind (even if my blood is still boiling).  This has helped with controlling my emotional state so I know to check what I am about to say before anything comes out.   

What I have done is stop getting annoyed at the symptoms because the angry feeling was just fueling my frustration.  I tell myself that this is temporary, it won't last the rest of my life and I have survived worse (and that is saying something cos I fell down a cliff at 11). 

I went for coffee with a friend yesterday and must have taken my jacket off and on about 6 times in an hour!  We just laughed at it.  That has helped me.  Maybe a little word with your inner self may help you along with some laughter at your body's inability to have any sense of control?

We'll get through this together  - this is a great site with some lovely supportive people so I am confident of that

[Ladybt28]

Hi and welcome ladies 

Yep - "disco inferno" love it!  It's just not flushes ladies unfortunately!  Take a look around at the articles and symptoms list at the top.  Lax muscles due to lack of oestrogen can cause quite a bit of joint pain.  Mine was so bad I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia but it all went away when I got on hrt.  Its fine now but it was waking me at night...I couldn't rest my ankles and knees on the bed it was so bad and walking any distance well... but hey ho!

Jacquie316 - I would maybe get on top of the bladder issues if I were you.  The lax muscles can do it and also there is a thing called vaginal atrophy where the skins gets thin and "bits shrink" and they need to be kept hydrated and ladies use vaginal oestrogen to keep them plumped.  It starts out with soreness, and possibly being a bit wet and then can progress (if you are going to get it) to mimicking bladder infections and cystitis symptoms but the tests for those things come back clear!
Its harder to treat when it gets out of hand...just keep an eye xx

Ask anything you want, post anything you want, you will always find someone here on the forum who has had a similar experience if not the exact same!

[CLKD]

My 1st thought Ladybt28 - read the vaginal atrophy threads: make notes 

Browse round.  We don't bite - except when there's a 'y' n the day 

We have lots of threads about exercise, pets, hobbies - we talk about menopause sometimes 

Ask away, nowt is taboo here.  As oestrogen levels drop muscles may Become lax = aches and pains.  Skin may become dry .......

[Suzziep]

Hi Jacqui316 and Jaynej,im also new to the forum just yesterday although im further into this lark than yous are.So glad that you are getting support at work i didnt and actually had to leave 3 years ago,it was manual work and i just couldnt do it anymore.Although my first post was yesterday i have been using the forum on and off for a year or so it has been so very helpfull especially with all the embarrassing questions you can find answers to just about anything on here.Everyone seems to be lovely and very supportive which makes such a difference.

Ladybt28,im a bt23,i think from some of your other posts we are on the same wee bit of land which if i am right would be good re local,regional stuff.

Suzziep xx

[Jacqui316]

Thanks for the replies.

The main support I was getting up to yesterday was a colleague who listened to me a lot and all the needed support I had over the individual issues.

Yesterday I actually opened up fully to my boss (female not yet going through any peri or full menopause symptoms), I was nervous, but have to say I am so glad I spoke up. We are working together to structure my work so that it helps me, whether this is supporting my mixed home and office work, or the actual type of work I am doing. I am a typical only child who likes their own company, so I need time for myself to be at my best. This is not isolationist, I do enjoy being around people, just for work I like to concentrate and work to completion before sharing. Anyway, all this is being taken into account.

For the bladder issues I have my annual review at the doctors next week so will look at this then.

I wish I could get past the feeling another of my colleagues was always having dig as this is so not like me. The last was me admitting I couldn't remember something and they intimated I was a goldfish, just don't need that right now, my memory was always good and it hurts now feeling it isn't there anymore.

So I have good stuff and that I am grateful for and this other cr*p that I don't need too.

Thanks
Jacqui

[Ladybt28]

Hi Suzziep - there are a couple of us from NI - Hello, nice to have you here on the forum.

Ladies each of us varies so very much in how bad our symtoms are, what they are and how we react to medication.  My memory lapses got so bad I actually thought I had alzheimers! but no - HORMONES.  I became scared of my own shadow and quite manic and a bit paranoid when I am usually confident and level headed - HORMONES.  And work...well I didn't want to answer the phone or talk to anyone because I had this ridiculous idea that because I didn't know what someone was going to say or ask me I couldn't deal with it.  It's not just flushes and physical stuff, peri/meno can mess with your head big time...its scary but it's better when you understand that it is your chemical makeup which is controlling stuff and not just something you are doing or not doing to become this person overnight. 
Everyone is welcome here because we understand exactly what it's like xx

[CLKD]

Well done on approaching your boss.  Getting a work schedule/plan brings you back into control.  It's also a heads up for her 

Do ask 4 vaginal atrophy treatment!  Read the appropriate threads B4 your appt.?

[Leggy]

Hi Everyone,
I'm new too. I started mine about three and a half years ago, last 'menstrual expression' was two years ago. I've been trying to manage the sweats with a magnet which has helped, but it's the not sleeping, the tiredness and the low moods that finally made me decide to try hrt. I'm away on holiday for a while and my doctor wanted me to "... Have access to him" when I first started on it, so I'll be starting end of Feb. I haven't had much chance to look around here yet and I'm sure my answers will be here, but did anyone find an immediate change when they started?
By the way- so lovely to be somewhere where everyone understands. I'm so lucky, nearly my whole office is at the same stage so there's a lot of support and understanding for each other- and a lot of fans!!
(Btw my typos can be amazing, so I apologise in advance )

[CLKD]

You'll fit with in 

Sometimes it takes the body 6-9 months B4 it begins to adjust as the body doesn't usually get where it is suddenly.  Maybe keep a mood/food/symptom diary Leggy?

[CatherineM]

Hi,

I am new here (well first post but have been reading other posts for about a week now). I started out alright with the change, certainly for the first 12 months. I have had the night sweats and hot flushes, as well as minor bladder issues.

Now though I think this coupled with pain from osteoarthritis (waiting for a knee replacement) is starting to get a little much. I want to feel normal, but I am not sure what that is. I have good colleagues, and strange as it may sound it is a male colleague who has really been there for me most. The female colleagues want to try and understand, but they have not experienced the menopause and like so many think it is something to just cope with.

I think most of all I need to know this is not just me, and my frustration at being told to accept what is happening and it will get easier is not a bad reaction to someone. This forum has already helped me, just being here and reading has already shown me that there is much information we are lacking in this inevitable stage of our lives.

Jacqui

[CatherineM]

Hi,

I am new here (well first post but have been reading other posts for about a week now). I started out alright with the change, certainly for the first 12 months. I have had the night sweats and hot flushes, as well as minor bladder issues.

Now though I think this coupled with pain from osteoarthritis (waiting for a knee replacement) is starting to get a little much. I want to feel normal, but I am not sure what that is. I have good colleagues, and strange as it may sound it is a male colleague who has really been there for me most. The female colleagues want to try and understand, but they have not experienced the menopause and like so many think it is something to just cope with.

I think most of all I need to know this is not just me, and my frustration at being told to accept what is happening and it will get easier is not a bad reaction to someone. This forum has already helped me, just being here and reading has already shown me that there is much information we are lacking in this inevitable stage of our lives.

Jacqui

[/pre]

Hi,

I am new here (well first post but have been reading other posts for about a week now). I started out alright with the change, certainly for the first 12 months. I have had the night sweats and hot flushes, as well as minor bladder issues.

Now though I think this coupled with pain from osteoarthritis (waiting for a knee replacement) is starting to get a little much. I want to feel normal, but I am not sure what that is. I have good colleagues, and strange as it may sound it is a male colleague who has really been there for me most. The female colleagues want to try and understand, but they have not experienced the menopause and like so many think it is something to just cope with.

I think most of all I need to know this is not just me, and my frustration at being told to accept what is happening and it will get easier is not a bad reaction to someone. This forum has already helped me, just being here and reading has already shown me that there is much information we are lacking in this inevitable stage of our lives.

Jacqui

Hi,

I am new here (well first post but have been reading other posts for about a week now). I started out alright with the change, certainly for the first 12 months. I have had the night sweats and hot flushes, as well as minor bladder issues.

Now though I think this coupled with pain from osteoarthritis (waiting for a knee replacement) is starting to get a little much. I want to feel normal, but I am not sure what that is. I have good colleagues, and strange as it may sound it is a male colleague who has really been there for me most. The female colleagues want to try and understand, but they have not experienced the menopause and like so many think it is something to just cope with.

I think most of all I need to know this is not just me, and my frustration at being told to accept what is happening and it will get easier is not a bad reaction to someone. This forum has already helped me, just being here and reading has already shown me that there is much information we are lacking in this inevitable stage of our lives.

Jacqui

I'm new here I'm 48 I don't know if this is posting right I'm not very good with technology I've had my first missed period two weeks late but I still had PMS symptoms sounds like a stupid question but is that normal lol

[CatherineM]

Hi I'm 48 and I've just missed my first period but I still got pms symptoms I've had symptoms of perimenopause for about 2 years

[jillydoll]

Hi, Everyone.