Subject: Middle Age Philosophy
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God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the
difference.
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Now that I'm "older" (but refuse to grow up),
here's what I've discovered:
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1) I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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2) My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
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3) I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
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4) Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
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5) Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
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6) What were we talking about?
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7) It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
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8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
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9) I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
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10) Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
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11) Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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12) It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
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13) The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
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14) If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
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15) When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
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16) It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere!
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17) The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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18) These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
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19) If all is not lost, then where is it?
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20) Did I send this to you already?
