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[Jett]

Hi everyone 

I don't really have anyone to ask about this stuff and not sure if it would be silly to go to doctor

I am 48, have had problems with fibroids for last 4 years so taking lots of alternative supplements which have helped with peri symptoms up until now. 

At end of March my mother became very ill and I've not had a period since.

I have been really stressed so don't know if it's stress or I am going into Menopause

Other symptoms-

Got flushes just in last week
All over dryness- hair, skin, VA
Anxious and emotional and tearful
Feel like can't cope
Sleep issues
Sore fingers
Aches off and on

Is this all normal?

Thanks so much for any advice

Jett xx

[Tinkerbell]

Yes totally normal! Stress can delay periods but given your age and symptoms it all sounds very peri menopausal to me, menopause is when your last period is and you won't know that yet. I went 8 months without one and then got a couple more before they stopped completely.

[Jett]

Thanks so much, I just wanted to hear I wasn't alone! xx

[Jett]

Thank you Birdy I will do that.  Now 99 days and no period, hot flushes, sore fingers, nausea but I will see what the doc says xx

[Jett]

That's a great idea.  It's like nobody talks about this stuff though most folk have to go through it.  So you don't know what to expect, what's in the normal range of experience and what you should be worried about.  It's nuts! X

[Krystal]

As you go through life our bodies take a hammering due to the hormonal changes of the menopause. The stress of caring for and worrying about loved ones be they our children or parents can also make you feel out of sorts most of the time. If you can, try to find time for yourself and do something you enjoy enabling you to relax. All the medication in the world cannot help if you are constantly under pressure. I know this is easier said than done, but stress can be very harmful. There is only one you so please look after yourself. 

[AgathaC]

Yes, I would say textbook perimenopause xx
With a big side order of stress and worry xx
I am 47 and have all your symptoms, even the sore fingers (but not really hot flushes in earnest - more hot moments) xx
Sorry about your mum xx

[Jari]

Hi Jett and welcome!

I'm 49 and had last period 2 years ago. I got my first symptoms of hot flushes soon after last period. So, around about same timings. All normal, don't worry.

It's a good time in life to be reassessing what we're eating, how much we're excercising etc. It would be a good time to get a notebook and start writing your symptoms plus diet etc so you can refer to it.

Hrt, in my experience, was a quick fix as I first got symptoms. It turned out to be a disaster and I'm now seeing it through the natural way.

Be careful with hrt, especially if you've had trouble with fibroids, as hrt causes fibroids to grow.

There are good books out there for natural solutions to the menopause. Keep posting! X

[Jett]

Thanks so much for your replies Jari, Agatha and Krystal, it is so good to hear from other people in the same boat 

I am keen to do things as natural as possible as you say Jari, when I found out about the fibroids I cut out dairy which has really helped as has taking Vitex.

That is so crazy you have the sore fingers too Agatha, it feels like such a bizarre symptom to be connected to hormones but it's good to know it is, it was freaking me out a bit as there is a history of arthritis in my family.

Thanks for your kind words also Krystal.  I am so stressed about my mum that I feel I can't take a break or holiday in case she needs her o get to hospital in the middle of the night which is what happened about 8 weeks ago.  I am also doing all the shopping and gardening for her on top  of working full time and O have used most of my holidays for hospital appointments etc.  I don't know if she will get stronger and back to more normal or if she will stay like this.  She has heart failure and kidney failure so it depends if she gets strong enough to be able to take any medication to help, she can't just now.

Sorry for moaning! I just wanted to thank the three of you for getting back to me and giving me a little lift that I am not going off my head!

XXX

[Krystal]

Everything you find yourself doing for your Mum now is what I did with the help of my husband for eight years. It is a very hard situation to be in and eventually no matter how much you love and want to care for your Mum you cannot do this indefinitely. My sister was not interested and distanced herself from it all. Please make some enquiries about getting some help for your mum either through the hospital or the social services at you local council. To get any help does take time and you will need to stand your ground. It is not easy and can be very isolating when you end up in this position. Help is out there for both of you. It is not charity and it is not a sign of failure to ask for help. You are important too and do not deny yourself a little holiday, that can take some arranging when you have someone to look after. As for work I found that an uphill battle and found myself going part time just in order to feel I had some breathing space. I realise this is not always an option as a drop in salary is not workable financially. Any way that's enough from me. Look after yourself. Best wishes xxx

[Kathleen]

Hello Jett and welcome to the forum.

Your list of symptoms is pretty standard for the menopause and your recent stress may just be an unfortunate  coincidence.

Whatever you decide to do I hope you find a regime that works for you.

Wishing you well and keep posting.

K.