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[CLKD]

Big  to you both!

[Focus]

I'm not going back to that GP, unless I have something that's nothing to do with this.

If someone pushes me so far that I lose it with them, even after me warning them that what they are doing/saying is triggering me and explaining why it is, then they've burnt their bridges with me.

I never give them another chance because they've put me in that situation in the first place.

How dare she not let me speak and speak about my experience, how dare she not take into account what I'm telling her about how her actions/words are affecting me, how dare she assume control over my body.

Nah, no way.

Her actions were so triggering.

And she knew what happened to me. It's written in my notes, I mentioned it every time I saw her, she mentioned it every time I saw her, I explained the last time we spoke on the phone.

I'm not stupid, I'm perfectly articulate about it and about what's going on with my PTSD. I've lived with it for long enough. I've read shed loads about it. And I'm surely not the only person/woman in this position. There are plenty of us out there. I know that.

[Focus]

Unsurprisingly. I got ill as a result of all this stress, not enough food, weakened immune system, etc.

So am also feeling down over that.

I feel like my world has completely shrunk. And I feel trapped.

[CLKD]

You are trapped for a while but this too will pass.  Take time for you.  Rest as much as you can. Do what you are able to do, particularly at this time of year!

Are you eating 'better'?  Little and often so that your body doesn't get hungry which causes those awful dips, anxiety surges, generalised weaknesses.  Grazing suits me.  It's been dried fruits and nuts today with a bottle of Coke ;-)

[Focus]

I mean, I've no idea what's going on here.

It feels like I'm on some crazy high speed escalator...

So, insomnia for a while, night sweats for a while, periods all the time and constant flooding/heamorraging (but calmed down now, at the moment, through Loestrin 20).

And I don't know if it's because it's winter, because I've been ill, or some other reason, but I feel like I'm being desiccated from the inside. And my skin and hair is really dry.

I don't have the central heating on that much in my house, or the temperature that high. I know it's about 16-17 degrees inside from that fancy central heating gadget that tells me what the temperature actually is. I never have it on after I go to bed and it's not on before I get up in the morning, unless it's minus something outside.

Anyway. I usually drink a large glass of liquid overnight. It holds about 300 mils of liquid. I've done that for years.

At the moment? If I need to drink at least 2 of those glasses, more usually 3 - which is a whole litre of liquid overnight, from about 11.00pm to 5.00 or 6.00am!! And I'm still feeling like I'm being desiccated from the inside...

What the heck...

[Focus]

Just adding in that I have never, every had an issue with dry or dehydrated skin before, either on my face or body.

I've never used a body lotion, ever, as I've never felt the need to. And the skin on my face has always been on the oily side. I don't use any special serums, oils etc in my skincare, and I don't have any lines or wrinkles round my eyes.

Most people think I'm about 35 years old from the way I look (I'm almost 49).

This all feels insane, like someone has given me a stranger's body...

[CLKD]

It's The Change.

As oestrogen levels drop so the body may become dry: inside and out : skin, scalp, in between the toes, vagina, deep in the ears, nostrils.  Also muscles may become lax = aches and pains which an over-the-counter pain relief can ease.  I think we need to accommodate our bodies changes - if we get time to accommodate them  .

Maybe search for 'sylc' and 'yes' products here as well as using a good body moisturiser several times daily, we use either Nivea or Vaseline.  The trick is to use it B4 the skin gets itchy = drying out.  Now if I could find something long and thin to poke into my ears    ....

I have allergic rhinitis so often sleep with Gob Wide Open  - not a pretty sight as well as drying out nose and mouth 

[BlueButterfly]

I have found I need to drink a lot more water than I used to and need extra moisturizer on my face and actually need lotion more often as well.

[Focus]

Hi Focus, just a thought, but have you had a scan by a gynae? Do you know if you have fibroids because I believe these can cause a lot of bleeding? Just a thought! X

Thanks Jari. I had thought of that. But there was no way I could even begin to deal with it when I was so triggered by my PTSD then ED.

I'm really liking the way the Loestrin 20 is making me feel (so far). My appointment is with the new doctor/sexual health clinic is at the end of January, so I'll wait until then.

if it's something that can be done externally, then it's fine. But I'm afraid I can't handle anything else.

Also, seem to have developed a fixation for Marmite. The last time I bought any was about 26 years ago, when I had my ED. Weird.

[CLKD]

Nowt wrong with Marmite.  Father in Law was under the 'care' of the Japanese building a railroad  for 3 years.  As they stepped off the ship at Liverpool after being released, every Prisoner was given a small pot of it and one of Bovril because they had been starved ..... so maybe you will benefit Focus ;-).  I LOVE both.  The first on hot toast and the other in a cup of hot water.  Soothing.

I think that once you have options Focus you will be more relaxed.  Firstly you are feeling a little better.  b) the appt. is after C.mas when all *that* hassle has gone.  c) take a list of questions and make notes ;-)

[Focus]

Thank you.

I am feeling more settled, but still a little uneasy and nervous in and of my physical self...mistrustful of it.

I've never felt my body so out of control. Nothing I could think of was stopping the seemingly endless heavy bleeding.

Anyway, Loestrin still working.

Started to have more, particularly of 'safe' food.

[CLKD]

Well done you!    little and often: a little of what you fancy and don't forget, chocolate has lots of goodness in it as well as being easy to eat  .  In fact, chocolate kept me alive ........ melting at body temperature it meant that I didn't realise I was eating.

Half a day at a time ;-).   I used to have in the back of my mind 'what if it starts again and I don't recover'  but with appropriate medication I slowly became well.  Most days.

[jaypo]

My husbands niece has been in hospital for almost a year now,she's only 16 and anorexic,she's on 24 hour care because she's tried to kill herself twice and self harms.she is a lovely girl and wanted to be a vet or dr,so clever,her poor parents just don't know what to do,I don't suppose you have any advice clkd or focus?

[CLKD]

Starting another thread.