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[racjen]

More from me! Have you tried pregabalin - it didn't work out for me because I have an extreme sensitivity to all AD type drugs, but it's worked wonders for some on here. In fact it did reduce my anxiety considerably, but unfortunately like all these drugs it also made me profoundly depressed.

The only other things that give me temporary relief are yoga - have discovered this very recently, I go to a class twice a week first thing in the morning when my anxiety is at its worst and now do 20 - 30 mins at home if it's not a class morning. And immersion in very cold water. Until the weather turned so wet and miserable I was swimming in the river near me twice a week (last time was early December), and it really does make a difference brain chemistry-wise. I'm now having a a cold shower every morning as the weather has just been so awful and the river is too high to swim safely; it still helps but it's not the same. I know my friends think I'm really wierd but I'll so anything if it takes the edge of that awful feeling of panic and dread.

[Jeepers]

Hi

The anxiety is terrible isn't it? I feel like I am barely functioning.

I have pains everywhere, stomach, guts,back, ribs, kidneys fingers toes . .. I have very little appetite and feel nauseous all of the time . I don't know what all of these pains are, but it's freaking me out.

I hear what you are saying about not being alone, but I work.away in the week, and spend  evenings in hotel rooms, very much alone. I can't even go out for a walk as it's pitch black, and not even street lighting.


I desperately need to climb out of this vortex though...as right now, I just feel like giving up.

Sorry to be such a downer

[CLKD]

Could U alter your life-style Jeepers, maybe go into B&B where there would be people around in the evening?  Though I prefer the less in your face hotel myself, less likely for anxiety.  I have plenty to see on the TV too and love reading. 

[Jeepers]

I could, but I'm not really very extrovert by nature... I tend to just hide away.

I've had a bath, now watching TV, but hard to ignore how bad I'm feeling.

I have a pain in my ribs like my bra is too  tight, but I'm not wearing one ! 

[Roseneath]

Hi lovely ladies.  Hi CLKD. I haven't posted on here for a while (well 2 months but it feels like ages!). I have been struggling with health anxiety for the past six years now; every since my early Peri symptoms started. Looking back I have convinced myself I have about 10 serious illnesses at one time or another. It is exhausting. I find I have a good couple of months when I feel much better and do all the self management things; exercise, eating well etc. then like a few days a go something will trigger off a thought process (this time my finger jerking for no reason and feet tingling) and am swamped by a panic that I just can't think my way out of - I try all the tricks. Then I don't sleep well, get all the horrid anxiety symptoms. I find events like holidays or Christmas seem to trigger it looking back. I really helps coming on to this forum as your stories are SO similar. I am currently doing CTB via the NHS which is helping a little but am very close to trying Sertraline (unopened packet is two years old!). I just want a rest from living like this as the bottom line is I am not happy most of the time.

[NaturalMystic]

Hi lovely ladies. I just want a rest from living like this as the bottom line is I am not happy most of the time.

I feel for you because I know this mental torture.  My panics can follow a symptom or come from nowhere, seconds after feeling absolutely fine.  Its scary and debilitating and I also wonder how long I can go on feeling this way.  Mostly I use humour and those at work wouldn't have a clue that I'm screaming inside, fighting the feelings and intrusive thoughts.

Lots of love to you xx

[racjen]

Screaming inside - that really does sum it up. I took my daughters out this afternoon to a National trust House, because neither of them can drive and they both have mental health issues too, and I feel as their mother it's my duty to make Christmas nice for them. But all the time I had that awful feeling of physical anxiety and dread dragging me down; I can function, but as you say at the same time I'm screaming inside and it's a really  horrible experience. I've had mental health professionals say to me 'but you don't look anxious' when I've tried to explain this thing - they just don't get it, that you're not necessarily shaking, hyperventilating, running for the hills, but that things feel desperate and you're holding it together by the skin of your teeth. That's how i feel most of the time at the moment x

[CLKD]

Screaming inside.  Wading through treacle.  Dark tunnel with no light .........

Medication keeps me relatively stable apart from this time of year when there are so many expectations.  I've stepped back completely, few cards sent which is the preparation I like the best usually. 

You put yourself under pressure racjen - but U did it 

[Roseneath]

Yes mine is very situational. The place I always feel most calm and ' safe' is the GP or the CBT counselors office which means they just see this normal, rational lady telling them 12 hours earlier she felt at the end of her tether. Outside walking I feel better too.  I feel worse in the house with family having to put a front but on edge inside.  We run a B & B but close for 3 months in the winter which sounds great but is actually hell on earth for my anxiety as I have all the time in the world inside my head to amplify every ache and niggle. A GP said years ago ' You can beat this thing you know' ; then strongly recommended SSRIs to give my brain ' a rest to reset' as he put it. I never went back to him as I worry about being addicted and side effects but am close to giving them a shot now as my 40s have been absolute crape.

[suzysunday]

These posts reflecture my own feelingsite these last few months after a health scare/biopsy.  Unbearable physical /mental symptoms,  so exhausted.   I daren't go near antidepressants as I came off some 5 years ago after being on seroxat 12 years.  The withdrawal was unbearable.  Now not coping so well with health issues.

[AgathaC]

I've just read three texts which I sent my husband from work today:
I'm in a panic and my anxiety is sky high
(Then)
I can hardly breathe
(Then)
I feel like I'm about to drop dead

Anyway, I didn't drop dead and I came home, cooked roast lamb, visited my parents and then got ready for a Christmas party tomorrow.
All the while, I've got the black dog of doom sitting on my shoulder and every horrible feeling imaginable going on inside me.
I feel very ashamed to say that I feel better that other people feel this way too. I wouldn't wish this on anyone else but at the same time I feel a bit better knowing other people have the “leg of dread” as they get up in the morning. And then that the panic can descend on them randomly just as it does on me.
Anyway, just been for a night walk with my husband which has made me feel a little bit better. Well, until I came back in the house.
I feel like I took my happy go lucky 30's and early 40's for granted.
I'm wearing myself out with all this worry and anxiety. At this moment my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest.
Add to that I look like absolute s**t.
Love to you all x

[CLKD]

It is tiring.  But is 'normal'.  However, why did you need to do 'all that' in one day?    When I was ill in the 1990s I would wander to the GP Surgery to sit, sometimes I got a cuppa handed to me  .  When I felt safe again I would wander back home. 

[suzysunday]

Agatha,  really recognise those feelings of you might drop dead!  Felt like that a lot lately, too tired for detail but so fed up, pains in stomagh,  that panic that comes from nowhere.  Never been so at a  loss.

[Roseneath]

I loved your post Agatha C. From an outsiders perspective it is (almost) comical the way we juxtaposition impending doom with turning out a three course dinner with all the trimmings. I have told me husband in all seriousness in the last few years that I have pretty much everything wrong with me up/in every orifice. I make a pact I will never EVER be so stupid and over reactive again...then a few days/weeks later a new twitch or headache or weird discharge comes along and I am back to square one. I was never like this in my 30s, I just got on with things and looked to the future.  I think I will go on Dragons Den with a national chain of ' Screaming/Laughing/Crying' workshops for women of a certain age as that is what I think I need. I feel like a pressure cooker here.

[AgathaC]

Please let me know when the workshop is