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[Tc]

Hi. I'm new to forum. I'm 53 and 8 weeks ago I had BSO surgery. I had a large Dermoid cyst on one ovary. I am suffering so badly. I am depressed and anxious and feel like my life is over. I can't get it out of my head that they should not have removed the healthy ovary as I wouldn't be in this position now I.e surgical menopause. My periods were regular before. I'm so angry at myself that I didn't research it and question the removal of the healthy ovary  I would be so grateful for any advice. I feel as though I'm going mad with worry and regret.

[CLKD]

Don't be angry at yourself, be angry at the Consultant!?!  They seem keen to whip out organs without considering the after-effects. 

Years ago one would go for the initial appt. to discuss.  All possibilities discussed.  If surgery opted for, kept in Hospital and referred home with a follow-up appt. with the Consultant or SHO.  Not to the GP!! 

What symptom would you like to ease first?  Is there a GP in your Surgery keen on womens' health, or a Practice Nurse you could talk with.

Me I would be going back to that Consultant and making my point known!

[Annie0710]

Hi TC and welcome

Did they chat about hrt before the op ? My friend had BSO last week and she wasn't told about how abrupt the loss of hormones can affect a woman.   I tried to give her info but I think I overloaded her with her info

If you didn't have endometriosis then you'd only need oestrogen replacement and probably Down the line you'd need testosterone too

I kept my ovaries during my hysterectomy but they still failed and have since been told they've disintegrated and I'm sure that's when I suddenly got a new onset of symptoms, nasty confidence-knocking symptoms along with low mood and anxiety. 

I think you should go and have a chat with a good gp at your practice and don't be fobbed off with antidepressants until you've given hrt a good try.  You might not like the first lot you try and unfortunately it can trial and error x

[Tc]

Thank you. I had a large Dermoid cyst and was under gynae ontology so I suppose they suspected cancer. At the post op appointment they were saying all good news. It wasn't cancer and the wash they did showed no cancerous cells.the doc said go away and celebrate. I know it sounds ungrateful but I feel anything but celebratory. I have since read so many negative stories online that I think it's made me feel my life is forever changed for the worse.the emotional symptoms and anxiety are by far my biggest concern but I am worrying what the lack of hormones has done to my senses and my sexual response as well. Tbh the sexual side is bothering me more than I would care to admit. I am panicking that I'm withering and drying up each day and that my sexual response will NEVER return. I feel like an old woman and I'm only 53 and felt vital and young before the op. I'm sorry to moan but I can't bear the thought that my life is over and I'm a different person now. If I thought it would get better it might help but everything I read is so negative. I have a actually felt suicidal and reminding myself that I do not have cancer isn't consoling me.

[Ladybt28]

  did they not make any provision for follow up treatment plan?  If not appalling care but hey ho that's not an unusual story here urgh it makes me so mad!  Anyway, you need to go back to the consultant or be referred immediately to someone who can help you replace your missing hormones as soon as possible.  A GP just wont do especially as your's is a surgical case.

Of course you feel bad TC but its not your fault - I had a fairly long spell where my libido was gone, I actually couldn't bear the thought of sex or my husband touching me - even a kiss (its still not really back but i better) and basically I went into mourning really and yes you do feel that your life is kinda over especially if you had a good sex life and absolutely adore your partner!  If that part of your life wasn't that important anymore well I suppose it is easier to let go but it wasn't for me and still isn't and 53 is young.  I am 57 in January and it's still important.  My hrt regime has helped a bit so I can say it does come back, we have sex again now and the responses are back but not as strong - so there is hope.  You just have to get yourself sorted on the right replacement hormones.

[CLKD]

You moan.  Also go back and have a moan at the Consltant! or at least let his Secretary know.

Browse round.  Make notes.  Get any vaginal dryness sorted ASAP! with localised HRT cream from your GP.

Your body is in shock.  Be kind to yourself.

[Hurdity]

Hi Tc

  from me too.

Just to echo what the others have said - get yourself some Oestrogen pronto - I prefer patches (Estradot - twice weekly application) but others like gel (daily application), and yes you may need some testosterone. There is no licesned preparation for women any more (of T) but NICE menopause Guidelines made provision for its prescription for women with low libido and in surgical menopause your main source of tesosterone has disappeared. A high dose of oestrogen (maybe starting low and gradually building up depending how sensitive you are) is a start and will work wonders - then when levels are up you can add some T. Please do get a referral as already advised - insist - especially if there is a menopause clinic nearby - or even if not and you are prepared to travel - you have a right to proper treatment.

There is a thread for women in surgical menopause also somewhere - here it is: https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,34701.0.html. There may be some useful info there? Also you could revive it to bring it to the attention of other members in your position and hopefully you can chat with them for support?

Hurdity x

[Taz2]

Hi Tc. Some great advice from everyone as always.

Does BSO surgery mean you have retained your womb? If so you will need progesterone as well as oestrogen in order to protect the endometrium.

Taz X 

[Tc]

Thank you so much everyone and thanks for the link. I'm trying to get through each day. I'm seeing consultant December. I did suffer from anxiety at various times in my life an I think the sudden hormone crash has created a perfect storm!! At least I got up today. Trying not to fixate. I started panicking that I had aged overnight. I swear I think I suddenly look 10 years older. I certainly feel it. My mindset is not helping. I can hear a therapist I once saw saying to me that I had a tendency to catastrophize.!!. It's only been 10 weeks now since op so I know I haven't realy suddenly aged it just feels like it.
Just want to feel like myself again please tell me it is possible.
Suppose I just need hope and a reason to be positive. Thank you so much for your replies it means the world to me that you all have listened.

[Tc]

I should have added that I have a blood test to take b4 my gynae ontology appt in December. They are checking e and p as well as testost and fsh. Don't know why cos I thought they'd all be nil!!
Anyway it would seem that I am not alone in being woefully unprepared and informed by my surgeon and consultant. I suppose because it was gynae ontology they may focus more on removing any potential cancer risks. I do still have my uterus (which they perforated during the bso surgery)  so I think you are right I will need combined e and p. I am going to ask to be referred to the menopause clinic if there is one locally. No I'm not going to ask I'm going to insist. Think I need to start being pro active if I want my life back. This forum has helped me to see that. Thank goodness all you lovely ladies are so willing to share.thank you.

[groundhog]

Hi Tc,
Just wanted to say that if this is your new normal, you do sort of adapt and get used to it.
I had ovaries removed 4 years ago along with womb and it was catastrophic as they also perforated my bowel.  Long story, forum has been great , good luck x

[Ladybt28]

Tc - there is always hope here in forum, even if you can't see any when you wake in the morning!  Sometimes the trials we have to go through to get ourselves sorted meno wise seem like some kind of wicked joke but if we keep going we will eventually get to the right conclusion for us!  Armed with the "push" you can get from others posting and their knowledge and experience things do get clear in our heads and sometimes we do get to the right person to help us eventually.  There are some "successful" updates that get posted but I have found that there is quite a big time gap between the first post which says "I feel dreadful" to the one which says "I feel marginally better".  There are no quick fixes just patience and persistence.
Good luck.  Keep posting and let us know how you get on.

[CLKD]

Regardless of why a lady undergoes major, invasive surgery, even if it's an emergency situation, Consultants should still be prepared to discuss what the body will require afterwards!   Maybe like MaryJane's book on Atrophy, ladies should write a book about how important information pre-surgery has been neglected!

 

Try not to look further than half a day at a time.  Yep.  We age over-night.  But no one will notice ;-) and from where I'm sitting, you look fine 

[Ladybt28]

I agree … "the whip out" consultants are dinosaurs and anyone over 40 should be sent on retraining on bedside manner and aftercare!  Some are beyond arrogant -oh and the majority of them are men!  Tc's treatment by the hospital has been pretty bad - follow ups should have been arranged at very least rather than leave her to her own devices especially after major surgery.

Saying goes - "you are only as young as the person you feel" - hey lucky me..I'm always winning by 3 years as my husband is 3 years younger than me! 

There probably would'nt be enough paper in the world to print a book about all the things consultants should do and don't plus the bug..rs wouldn't read it anyway!  although if we all went to our appointments with a "bible" of questions we need to ask and get them to sign off a checklist afterwards - it might frighten them a bit?

[Tc]

Hiya ladies. Update
I have been given femseven sequi patches. I am starting on them.
Not sure if they will help the vaginal issues so I have ordered ovestin cream from well known high street online pharmacy. I m 10 weeks post ovaries so am keen to not let the vaginal problems get worse before I treat it. I didn't realise it might happen so quickly I thought atrophy would take months to appear. Do any of you ladies think it's best to treat atrophy early on?
Atrophy is not my biggest problem but it would be one less thing to worry about knowing I've got it covered so to speak.

I was having regular periods b4 my surgery and despite asking doc said there was no point in testing hormone levels at that point as they fluctuate so much age 53. Therefore don't know what my baseline was b4 but dropping to zero overnight might have produced worse symptoms than if I had already been further on in meno and I think this is what has been overlooked.
Anyway pinning hopes on the hrt patches and hoping they are strong enough to make a difference. We shall see I suppose.
The anxiety and depression are bloody cripelling but I don't wanna take prozac as I've been on and off them since I was in my early 30s. I wasn't on them before the surgery and my anxiety and depression were well under control even thru the cancer scare and several bigvlife changes I coped well in the years leading up to this surgery so I'm very resistant to go back on them when I feel can pinpoint these issues to the post surgery hormone crash.
Trying to get thru half a day at a time as suggested but have said no to the ssris.
Guess I gotta be bit patient but my brain seems to be stuck in a loop and I can think of little else.
My best wishes to you all.