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[Butterfly16]

Hello everyone  I've been reading the messages for a few weeks but thought I'd post and say 'hello' :-)

I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure at 35, now 38 but have never been on HRT (due to slow diagnosis and no understanding from my GP!).  I skipped my first period when I was 35, but they had started becoming irregular in my early thirties.  Looking back, I did have a few symptoms but menopause was the last thing on my mind!  I've been referred to two different gynaecologists, which I had to push for on both occasions.  I'd hoped to get some proper advice regarding HRT...but neither was able to discuss the different options available or give me any advice.  The second gynaecologist wanted to prescribe me Elleste duet 2mg. He didn't explain what this was on how to take it and I had to ask about risks/side affects. I do occasionally have migraines with aura so I'm not sure this would be the best route for me. Also I've no idea what my current Estradiol levels are as he didn't test me for that before prescribing the HRT.  I had a transvaginal scan just over two years ago and they said everything looked okay and also FSH and LH tests. I've not had a period since May last year and whilst I experience a few hot flushes a day, my symptoms aren't extreme at the moment. Having said that, I do experience anxiety and panic attacks which I've now found out could all be part of it.

I don't feel like a normal woman at the moment. I'm single, have no children and I feel angry at myself that I left it too late, never for one moment did I think it would be too late at 35 and I feel so sad.  Sometimes I can be positive about things, but then I'll be out and see a pregnant women or someone out with their children and I'll feel an immense emptiness and despair that can take my breath away   It didn't help that the doctor originally broke the news to me by phoning me up and stating 'it's the change, there's nothing you can do about it' following a second lot of blood tests and the female doctor I asked to see was no better. She basically shrugged her shoulders, told me there would be no implications of having an early menopause and sent me on my way.  I just think it would've helped to have had a bit more sympathy and understanding.  I feel like I've been going round in circles and not getting anywhere. 

I would really like to go private and see a specialist as I don't think I can wait another 6 months to a year for help.  I just want to speak with someone who has a bit of empathy and is able to answer my questions and refer me for the necessary tests.  I'm in Essex, so if anyone could recommend a private consultant I would be so grateful  I was wondering about Caroline Marfleet in Colchester. I know she has an NHS clinic, but think she also sees private patients too. Has anyone seen her and know how to go about getting a private consultation?  Any help or other suggestions would be gratefully appreciated :-)

Thank you for reading this and I'm so sorry I've rambled 
xxx

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome to MM

I am appalled that you have not been given the proper advice and support. I had POF which started soon after the birth of my second child when I was 33. You do need HRT to protect you heart and bones for the long term.

Do read up all the info on this site to get clued up.  If you get migraines then you need transdermal HRT and I would suggest you start with a low dose sequential HRT e.g. Oestrogel or oestrogen patches with either Utrogestan or Provera for 12 days each month. Look under TREATMENTS on this site to see you options - print this stuff off to discuss withe you doctor. Unfortunately the combined patches only come in medium dose with the stronger progesterones, however these may be OK for you so could be worth trying. 
As for going privately - well, you really shouldn't have to pay but I can understand that you feel you need to.  Do some research about this specialist near you to see if she is an expert in treating menopause before spending any money.  I know a really good gynaecologist in Norwich but that is probably too far for you to go.

I know exactly how you feel - it's really tough - so be kind to yourself.  We are here to support you so keep posting.


I need to go to bed now but do message me if you need more specific support and help.  DG x

[Butterfly16]

Hi Dancinggirl,

Thank you so much for your kind reply Already you've given me more guidance than I've received from any of the doctors that I've seen!

I had wondered about the transdermal route and possibly the gel, but I will definitely read up under the treatment section and print some bits off as suggested I'm slightly worried about taking sequential hrt as the only positive that I've been able to take out of this diagnosis is that at least I've not had to worry about a period for the last year. I think the thought of going back to having a monthly bleed on top of dealing with everything else depressed me a bit. I do worry about not taking anything though and have developed health anxiety over the last 6 months...I now think every ache and pain is an illness and every palpitation means there is something wrong with my heart I'm hoping that once my hormones are more balanced, this will pass too.

I just wondered, did u have any particular blood tests or scans when u were first diagnosed?

I believe Caroline does run a menopause clinic, but I will definitely look into this further!

Thank u again for your reply xx

[Golden retriever]

Hi butterfly16
It was like reading my story
I was diagnosed eventually 2 years ago at 40 of early menopause.it took 4 years to diagnose my symptoms, unreal I know. I too am single, have no children and during the summer my 16 year old dog died. I knew it was inevitable but with hrt and grief I was in a bad state.
I changed my regime of Femoston 2/10 due to severe anxiety over a 14 month period to estradot 50 patches with progesterone 200 mg on  day 1-12 in August. My anxiety has descreased an awful lot but the progesterone days are bad at the moment. Today I cried laughing for the first time in 3 months and it was like being me again.
Just took my first day of progesterone and scared of the feelings that I might feel for the next 12 days but you know what, if I do after 5 days, I have decided to stop itthen re assess.
We have the power to change things and we know our bodies more than anyone else. I too worried about my hear etc and it's normal and one thing I have to say that got me through the summer is keep saying it will pass. It has passed at the moment for me and I now feel more strong than I ever felt.
Get a scan and fsh levels/ thyroidlevels even vitamin d
Good luck and keep us posted xxGD
Honestly,

[grumpyjane]

Hi butterfly16. Like dancinggirl I am appalled and saddened by how you have been treated. And these are gynaecologists who are meant to be the experts! I don't have any specific advice as I am not in your position, but I would suggest that gel is the way to start. You need to get your hormones back in balance and protecting you, whether you have a bleed or not, then when you know it's working you can tweak a bit and get on with your life.
  Jane

[Dancinggirl]

Hi Buterfly
The reason I suggest to you start with a sequential hrt is because it will ease you into hrt better and allows you to tell whether the prugesterine suits you or not. If you do ok with a particular progesterone then you can move to the conti version.
Oestrogen tends to be the ‘feel good' hormone whilst progesterone can give side effects for some women.
The meno does ‘mess with the head' and anxiety is common when Oestrogen falls.
Blood tests may simply confirm where you are in your menopause journey and if you haven't had blood tests to check FSH, oestrogen levels and also to check thyroid function then this should be done.
I strongly feel Your doctors have been negligent with your treatment and as a first step I would write everything down, take print outs from this site and calmly suggest to your GP that they help you find the right hrt treatment to protect your health for the long term. Explain that you have looked at this reputable site founded by a top UK gynaecologist and discovered that your heart, bones and general health are at risk due to the lack of oestrogen and you now know you have been given poor advice.
Do also look at your lifestyle eg keep weight under control, eat a good diet and get enough exercise as this is very important if you want to get most out of life. Hrt can only do so much and if anxiety continues to be an issue then having settled in a good hrt regime you may find adding in an AD/SSRI might also be helpful.
Keep
Us posted. DG x

[Flaky47]

Hi Butterfly
I can identify totally with the feelings regarding no children. It can be torture.
As well as surfing through this site for menopause support, there's a website called Gateway women that's worth a look for the feelings about missing out on children. I'd recommend a box of tissues... it made me sob to read through it and realise that I wasn't evil or mad and there are plenty of others with the same feelings.
I hope it helps x

[Butterfly16]

Thank you all so much for your responses, it's such a big help reading these messages and I actually could've cried when I read them. I don't feel quite so alone now or silly for having the thoughts that I do.

Thank you grumpyjane, yes indeed it's scary that gynaecologists are meant to be the experts. Yet some give the wrong advice or none at all!

Golden Retriever - I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your dog. It must have be devastating for you and I'm sure it's made everything seem so much harder. Thanks for sharing your experience, I'm so pleased to hear that you feel stronger than ever and it gives me hope that I will get through this...just have to keep going and find something that works for us I suppose!

DG - ah that makes perfect sense about the sequential HRT, yet another thing I didn't know! Yes I have heard that it's the progesterone that causes the most issues, so I'd rather ease myself into it like you say. When my GP originally mentioned early menopause to me, I was in so much shock that I didn't think about standing up for myself as they made me feel like I was wasting their time and making a mountain out of a molehill but I feel very frustrated now that there was no support at the beginning so I will definitely go to my next appointment armed with a list and information from this site!

It really is hard Flaky47 and is hard to try and explain to people how I feel. I knew that I was getting older so my chances of falling pregnant were decreasing, but to be told so abruptly that it's a definite no go is devastating and you have re-assess everything . I will definitely try and visit that site (on my lunch break now so may wait until this evening 😂)

Take care ladies xxx

[Nik]

lots of love to you- our feelings and bodies can seem quite alien at times and thats a lonely feeling being iscolated by your own body but like oyu i have reached out to this forum and like yourself just feeling a little empathy goes such a loooooong way doesnt it xxx send ing you virtual hugs and like someone advised me yesterday on here try to just ...breathe and i wish for you to find the best , healthiest & happiest solution for yourself x ps .great advice on here isnt it  xnik

[Butterfly16]

Hi Nik, thank you for your kind words  Yes it can be so isolating, but reading through the posts and advice doesn't make me feel quite so alone now. Big hugs to you too, all the best xxxxx

[QueenOfCamelot]

Hi just to say I'm new too and in a similar situation to you, read your story and it made me cry.  Hugs xxx