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[Eagle87]

Hi,
I received a PM from Eagle87, but unfortunately I haven't been posting enough to be able to use personal messaging yet.

Hi Eagle87, yes I have got on so much better with cyclogest pessaries than on utrogestan - I only use it for 8 days per month, but still get a very 'healthy' withdrawal bleed, so been advised to stick with that regime for now while it's working.

Even with cyclogest it took my body maybe 6 to 8 months to get used to the hormones. I'm also now on a low dose antidepressant and in conjunction with the HRT seems to be working well for me and my mental health. I'm not the same woman I was, but I at least recognise myself!

How are you getting on?
x

Hi thank u so much for getting back to me I was worried u wouldn't see my message

I am really really struggling.. I have had pms my whole life and then had my first baby 2016 and had really bad postnatal depression no antidepressants worked...

I felt a bit better after 18 months but worse pms.. I then got pregnant 2019 and had a baby oct 2019 followed by postnatal depression again.. i visited studd clinic nov and was put on estrogel 4 pumps testrostone every other day and utrogestan starting 1st feb

I was getting a bit better but still bad days... max I have had is 4 good days In a row. Main symptom insomnia

First cycle utrogestan in feb wasnt too bad just low headache and vivid dreams

This one is horrendous I feel suicidal no sleep just one hour nightmares panic attacks constantly crying I called the clinic today and I asked about cyclogest they said utrogestan is better but to stop this cycle and try again in April I'm so scared I dont even know if hrt is right for me but too scared too try antidepressants again

[curlygirl]

Hi Eagle87, I'm glad you saw my reply, sorry I can't PM yet :-)

I'm so sorry you're struggling and feeling so low - that's exactly how I felt the first time I tried Utrogestan, feared for my sanity and also felt suicidal and panic stricken. I totally understand, as do most of us on here I'd imagine. You're not alone, you're not crazy, or overreacting, it's the imbalance of hormones that is causing this and it can and will pass.

Sounds like you've had challenges all the way with hormones! It's so strange how some of us get dealt that card and others sail through from puberty to menopause without a care...

I'm also on the regime from the Studd clinic, I see Mr Watson who is lovely and immediately changed me from Utrogestan to cyclogest (which I'd had during IVF treatment and knew I got on 'relatively' ok with in comparison)
perhaps contact the clinic again in the next few days to talk it through more and explain how scared you are? When I told Mr Watson that I was suicidal he acted quite decisively.

I hope others may jump in with some good advice for you,

As I say it did take me such a long time to really feel the full benefits of HRT and I thought about chucking it in so many times too. Like you I'd have a couple of goodish days and then plunge right back into all the symptoms again - I've had to fiddle around with the dosing of the estrogel and have landed at somewhere around 3.5 pumps per day. I now struggle most around days 15 to 18, which may be the ghost of ovulations past? I try to self isolate on those days as much as possible. But in general the combo of HRT and a low dose antidepressant has helped a lot in the end. There's much trial and error though unfortunately and it's hard to hold on feeling like it's never going to get better.

I'm not sure any of this is helpful to you, I do hope so.

But in any case I can say that I hear you, I get what you're going through and send a huge hug x

[Eagle87]

Hi Eagle87, I'm glad you saw my reply, sorry I can't PM yet :-)

I'm so sorry you're struggling and feeling so low - that's exactly how I felt the first time I tried Utrogestan, feared for my sanity and also felt suicidal and panic stricken. I totally understand, as do most of us on here I'd imagine. You're not alone, you're not crazy, or overreacting, it's the imbalance of hormones that is causing this and it can and will pass.

Sounds like you've had challenges all the way with hormones! It's so strange how some of us get dealt that card and others sail through from puberty to menopause without a care...

I'm also on the regime from the Studd clinic, I see Mr Watson who is lovely and immediately changed me from Utrogestan to cyclogest (which I'd had during IVF treatment and knew I got on 'relatively' ok with in comparison)
perhaps contact the clinic again in the next few days to talk it through more and explain how scared you are? When I told Mr Watson that I was suicidal he acted quite decisively.

I hope others may jump in with some good advice for you,

As I say it did take me such a long time to really feel the full benefits of HRT and I thought about chucking it in so many times too. Like you I'd have a couple of goodish days and then plunge right back into all the symptoms again - I've had to fiddle around with the dosing of the estrogel and have landed at somewhere around 3.5 pumps per day. I now struggle most around days 15 to 18, which may be the ghost of ovulations past? I try to self isolate on those days as much as possible. But in general the combo of HRT and a low dose antidepressant has helped a lot in the end. There's much trial and error though unfortunately and it's hard to hold on feeling like it's never going to get better.

I'm not sure any of this is helpful to you, I do hope so.

But in any case I can say that I hear you, I get what you're going through and send a huge hug x

Hi

How did things get better?.did the good days just increase month by month? It's so hard to know how much longer to give it

How did u feel on cyclogest? I tried going down to 3 pumps but made me severely depressed and 5 pumps sky high anxiety so 4 pumps seems right

Which antidepressants are u on? I'm so scared of antidepressants cause of my experience in the past....xx

[curlygirl]

How are you today?

Yes, exactly that - I began to notice over the months that I'd have more days of feeling fairly ok and the bad days have become less bad. I don't feel completely 'normal' as I did before perimenopause, but I can function again :-)

Like you I've had a bad run of hormone related issues and react very sensitively to medication, but I'm glad I did push through the initial reactions. I do think if you've had bad experiences with medications it's worth really insisting on time to discuss with both the clinic and your GP? You deserve to be properly supported and advised.

That's good you've noticed how you feel on various amounts of estrogel - it took me a long while to realise that I could slightly adjust up or down to find the right amount.

The cyclogest gives me what I'd class as mild pms symptoms - slight headache, bloating, tired, vivid dreams, bit teary, brain fog. But nothing like full on pmdd - no migraine, panic attacks, or desire to end it all.  But even then I can only tolerate cyclogest for a maximum of 8 days (I've been too scared to push it any further) I know ideally I should be on progesterone for 11 days or so. But so far I'm ok on about 7 days and my uterine lining is not building up, so we'll see as time goes on.

I'm on 20mg Fluoxetine - again my GP wanted to try me on a different anti-depressant as Fluoxetine is a bit 'old fashioned' (GP's words) now. But I was scared too of feeling any worse and I'd had fluoxetine some years ago so felt I knew what to expect, so the GP was willing to prescribe.

I've also radically changed my routine and expectations of myself - I was always a very busy person, helping people out with anything they needed, over achieving at work, doing projects and voluntary stuff etc. and I've had to admit that I just can't cope with all that for the time being - I need to go to bed 2hrs earlier than I ever have before, I've cut back on overtime and just do basic hours, I keep life simple and just see a very few good friends who don't use up my energy and I say 'no' a lot more to all sorts of demands. All this has helped my anxiety no end...it's quite liberating in fact.

Do you have any consultations or GP appointments coming up, to get some help with all of this?

xx

[Eagle87]

How are you today?

Yes, exactly that - I began to notice over the months that I'd have more days of feeling fairly ok and the bad days have become less bad. I don't feel completely 'normal' as I did before perimenopause, but I can function again :-)

Like you I've had a bad run of hormone related issues and react very sensitively to medication, but I'm glad I did push through the initial reactions. I do think if you've had bad experiences with medications it's worth really insisting on time to discuss with both the clinic and your GP? You deserve to be properly supported and advised.

That's good you've noticed how you feel on various amounts of estrogel - it took me a long while to realise that I could slightly adjust up or down to find the right amount.

The cyclogest gives me what I'd class as mild pms symptoms - slight headache, bloating, tired, vivid dreams, bit teary, brain fog. But nothing like full on pmdd - no migraine, panic attacks, or desire to end it all.  But even then I can only tolerate cyclogest for a maximum of 8 days (I've been too scared to push it any further) I know ideally I should be on progesterone for 11 days or so. But so far I'm ok on about 7 days and my uterine lining is not building up, so we'll see as time goes on.

I'm on 20mg Fluoxetine - again my GP wanted to try me on a different anti-depressant as Fluoxetine is a bit 'old fashioned' (GP's words) now. But I was scared too of feeling any worse and I'd had fluoxetine some years ago so felt I knew what to expect, so the GP was willing to prescribe.

I've also radically changed my routine and expectations of myself - I was always a very busy person, helping people out with anything they needed, over achieving at work, doing projects and voluntary stuff etc. and I've had to admit that I just can't cope with all that for the time being - I need to go to bed 2hrs earlier than I ever have before, I've cut back on overtime and just do basic hours, I keep life simple and just see a very few good friends who don't use up my energy and I say 'no' a lot more to all sorts of demands. All this has helped my anxiety no end...it's quite liberating in fact.

Do you have any consultations or GP appointments coming up, to get some help with all of this?

xx

Hi... how are you ? Some people seem to just get better straight away on hrt and some like us gradually I just hate the bad days they are so scary... did u have pms before menopause?

I saw the psychiatrist today he didn't want to prescribe anything cause of my reactions in the past to antidepressants so he said just to wait for recovery and for the brain chemical to balance

So it's just hrt now.... I'm bleeding alot today from just 2 days of utrogestan

I hate the vivid dreams soooo much I find it horrible

How did u feel after 3 months on hrt ?

I cant wait for it to be better so I dont have to feel scared of bad days like now it's a rollercoaster

X