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Author Topic: Losing your looks  (Read 25528 times)

Lynda07

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #60 on: May 29, 2018, 07:53:27 PM »

Thank you for this post. I am 54. Never been a beauty but turned a few heads and had a very good figure which was easy to keep.

The past few years I simply do not recognise myself. I literally cringe when I look in the mirror. I only have around 10lb I would like to lose and am pretty careful and walk miles each day with my dogs - but it won't shift and for the first time ever my stomach is bigger than my boobs - and I had decent boobs!

I live in drab, dark clothes and want to hide away. This is a million miles away from who I used to be. My friends of the same age seem to be on Facebook daily looking bright, sexy and cheerful. Whereas I have just given up. How my husband puts up with me I just don't know.

I suffer dreadful hot sweats so seem to spend half my life soaking wet and red faced. I also think for the first time in my life I am suffering from depression.

Other than that oh and a bit of urine incontinence, lol - all is good!
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ElkWarning

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #61 on: May 29, 2018, 08:21:00 PM »

Well, you can still locate your sense of humour, that's a plus.

It's that feeling of distance though ... once I was this person ... now I'm???  For me, it's like looking at myself through a long lens, as if I'm really far away.

I was talking to a couple of colleagues at work today though, a meeting finished early and we had a catch up.  They're both bright, sexy and cheerful.  Turns out we have loads in common.  I guess they're just good at putting their game face on.  And Facebook is a terrible barometer, some people are quite keen to prove stuff to themselves by appearing a certain way.  If anyone read my FB page, then they'd think I was made.

Husbands, aye, I feel like I'm letting mine down.  We sat up until 3am on Saturday, drinking whiskey no less.  We haven't done that in forever.  He was saying that I'm so caught up in myself, I don't listen to him anymore.  So I listened.  Every part of me kept wanting to jump in, because what he was saying seemed so unfair, but then he was crying, and I realised how lonely he was, that he did still want me, and he thought I didn't want him. Maybe I'm not the booby prize he got by accident, I could be the woman he loves.

Oh dear, I have this wonderful way of over sharing.  Sorry about that.
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Wilks

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #62 on: May 29, 2018, 08:29:09 PM »

Hi Elk, I don't think you're over-sharing, it's really touching to hear what your husband said. I also feel I'm letting mine down. I was so upset about lumping him with someone he didn't marry, someone tired, depressed, ugly, suicidal, even. 
A few times I suggested that he should leave me because I felt like a burden and a waste of space, but he stuck with me!
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Conolly

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #63 on: May 29, 2018, 08:46:53 PM »

Wonderful posts, ladies. Sharing is really helpful for everyone, so thank you for this!


Conolly X
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Lynda07

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #64 on: May 29, 2018, 08:47:03 PM »

Elkwarning, I think my husband would say the same. But your words about your husband also made me want to cry too. It's so hard isn't it. Feel free to over share to me anytime.

Wilks - you have pretty much summed me up and again I can't believe I have turned into that person.

Big hugs to you both xx
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Lisa1966

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #65 on: May 29, 2018, 09:11:33 PM »

That is so nice elkwarning,I wish my husband had said nice things to me when we were together,instead of saying don't put ur hair up ur nose looks big,or slagging me off to my mum when I was having a panic attack and crawling across the floor,sobbing my eyes out. And when my dad was dying and we were in Majorca,wanting me to travel back on my own and leave him and the kids there.he did come home with me but was horrible all the way home.then instead of saying I will come with u to the hospital which was an hour away,he went to bed. I never forgave him for those things.its no wonder I have low self esteem

     Lisa x
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ElkWarning

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #66 on: May 29, 2018, 09:18:30 PM »

Ye gods, that sounds horrible, Lisa.  Are you still with him?
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jillydoll

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #67 on: May 29, 2018, 09:20:52 PM »

I think because of all the changes we go through as women, the dreaded
periods every month, and all what entails with them, then this awful menopause,
which is the worst thing ever to happen to most of us ladies, which half of it most of
Us had no education about, I think some of us can get caught up in ourselves.
No wonder, with what happens to us, depression, anxiety, palpitations,
Sweats, headaches,fatigue, to name just a few, then we've got the age, getting older
thing we have to deal with. We just don't feel the same as we did when we were in our 20s.
But to our husbands, we are still the same. We are still the same girl/woman who they fell
in love with, but we get lost in this sea of change.
Do they understand? I think they do to a certain degree, ( well I like to think so)

maybe, we should give our OHs more credit than we do. Try to pay them a little bit more attention
than we do, but how when we're feeling like shit, hard isn't it?
That's when they're understanding comes into play.

Jd x
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Daisydot

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #68 on: May 29, 2018, 09:28:20 PM »

Lovely post Jd.straight from the heart  :bighug:
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Daisydot

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #69 on: May 29, 2018, 09:29:16 PM »

Lisa he's a thoughtless git  :bighug:
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ElkWarning

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #70 on: May 29, 2018, 09:33:05 PM »

Daisy, I've been lurking here about six months and your posts always seem to hit the mark.

OH's are all different, some cope with it better than others, I suppose, but I only have mine to go by as there's not a lot of talk amongst them, which I think doesn't help.
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Daisydot

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #71 on: May 29, 2018, 09:39:35 PM »

ElkWarning don't hate me but my husband is none of the above he researches with me,he's my guinea pig ,he cuddles me just when I need it without saying a word,he supports me in every aspect of life and I truly adore him,he's my best friend and has been for 43 years now.He encourages me to post on the forum and giggles with me when I'm naughty.I so wish I could wave that wand and give some of these selfish guys and ounce of his compassion because you ladies certainly all deserve it.xx
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jillydoll

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #72 on: May 29, 2018, 09:44:57 PM »

Lisa,
You're bloke sounds just like my brother!
Sounds like they're brothers, the things he's said to his girlfriends over the years
is unbelievable, what you said about him going to bed instead of going to hospital
with you, is exactly what he would have done, the girlfriends he's had, well, I've lost count.
No wonder he's on his own, no one would or has stayed with him, he's in his 60s now,
and just got another girlfriend, poor cow, wonder how long this one will stay for.
I hasn't to add, I haven't spoke nor seen him for about 4years now, But I know he'll probably
be a lonely old man....where he gets it from is beyond me, my dad wasn't like that, totally the
opposite....  sad really.

Jd x
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jillydoll

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #73 on: May 29, 2018, 09:47:24 PM »

Daisydot, my OH is just like yours.
He's flipping great.
34 years we've been together, no splits, no arguments, (no really)
Don't know what I'd do without him..

Jd x
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Mrs Bella

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Re: Losing your looks
« Reply #74 on: May 29, 2018, 10:34:30 PM »

Wonderful posts, ladies. Sharing is really helpful for everyone, so thank you for this!


Conolly X
I agree Conolly!
I read these posts and I don't feel so alone in my struggles. Some of the things said make me feel sad: sad for the person. If I could I would give them a giant bear hug. Other things said make me laugh: some of the posts/ladies have a fabulous sense of humour. And rest of the posts inspire me. So thank you ladies for sharing! X
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