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[Sweetdimples67]

Hi all I joined the forum today in the hope that someone might be able to help me work out why i feel the way I do and if anyone else as felt this way.
I am 51 yrs old and although not medically confirmed going through the Menopause. I do not want to drag this life story out in fear of boring you all I promise I will try 

In the past 10 yrs there as been a lot of loss in my life I lost 2 brothers in their 40's very suddenly two years apart and then my dad got cancer and then my Mum then my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer sadly I lost my wonderful dad in 2015 and then my wonderful mum passed 11 months later  My sister is in her 4th year and is fighting this horrible disease. I have three wonderful daughters who are very supportive and soon to be 4 grandchildren I adore more than anything. I have always been a very happy confident person who suffered slight anxiety through out the years but just recently it  feels out of control where everyday challenges me with thoughts i can not control even though I do try.

I have been with my partner for 37 yrs we met when I was 14 and he was 17 and life as had its ups and downs just like most relationships and life in general.We have always gone on holiday together but since he told me he was going away for the first time without me with his mates from work for 5 days for a guys retirement and a guys 50th my anxiety and paranoia have got worse. He lost his mum also nearly a year ago to cancer and I do not think he as really grieved for her she passed from cancer too very suddenly  I think he is going through a midlife crisis too as he wants a new car change of life style and in his words to live life. He is a compulsive Gambler and as been for most of our lives together and I have supported him through many a dark time....But I stayed with him but now I feel he is leaving me behind to find his new life without me ... I feel like he is abandoning me when I need him the most right now.So my moods swings are daily along with Anxiety loss of appetite hot flushes and not knowing where I want to be  I am not an over emotional person but through frustration I cry most days. I have not had a period for over 2 years now but still get all the symptoms which is so frustrating. I hate feeling this way am I just being paranoid and letting my anxiety run away with me.I read menopause can cause anxiety to worsen so I am hoping that is what it is x


Some times being a woman sucks 

Thank you reading this post and hope to hear from you all soon x x

Sweetdimples x x

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome Sweetdimple

What a sad story.  Do read up all the info on this site to get clued up.  Menopause certainly does ‘mess with our heads'!
I suspect HRT may not be an option for you if your sister had oestrogen receptive breast cancer?

Have you spoken with your GP about everything that you are going through?  Beta blockers or a low dose of an SSRI might be appropriate to help you through all this.  Having some CBT or learning Mindful meditation would also be helpful.
Do make an appointment with you GP and write out all you symptoms and questions to show them, as this may help the appointment more successful. DG x

Dont suffer unnecessarily - ask for help.  We are here to support you so keep us posted.  DG x

[Jeepers]

Hi Sweetdimples

I am so sorry to hear what a tough time you have lately, its no wonder you feel so lost.  I don't really have any advice as I am at the same point as you, although I don't have a husband (but then again when  I did, he thought it would be okay for me to get the bus home after I had my appendix out, so I can relate).

Are you doing anything to try to deal with your anxiety? Have you spoken to a doctor, or got any counselling?

There are lots of ladies on here who will be able to give you some really good advice, and you will get loads of support.

Take care

Jeepers xx 

[Tinkerbell]

I am sorry you are having a rough time, I am going through an awful bout of anxiety at the moment, first time ever and have decided I need to see doctor.

I think maybe it would be a good idea if you did too, as I think you can only struggle on with it for a short time.

[Annie0710]

I just want to give you such a big hug ! Bless your heart, you've been through so much and still get muck chucked your way

Your feelings are very normal and menopause will intensify it.

I think you need to see your gp and go through your options for whatever medication gets you through this

Have you sat hubby down and explained how you are feeling ? If not you should think about doing so, it sounds like you've been a rock to him throughout the years and now it's your turn to receive some TLC

XX

[NorthArm]

 

I'm hearing you. Firstly, I would open a secret bank account and start saving money. Things with your husband don't sound good - I had similar, and believe me, you don't want to be left high and dry (like I was) if he decides his new life doesn't include you. Sorry to be blunt, but you need to look after you, and your kids if you have any xx

And like I said, look after you. Get yourself to the doc and explore all your options - do you have a close friend you can turn to for support whilst you're sorting your hormones out? If you can't use hrt there are other options such as beta blockers and antidepressants. I take 7.5mg Mirtazapine nightly for sleep, it also helps with anxiety (the usual dose is 30 - 45mg, but I find sleeping well has helped no end!) Look at the tabs up the top, there is loads of info there xx

Thirdly, start creating a life for yourself - go out with your friends more regularly, get nails / hair done, buy that expensive perfume you like, go to the gym...in short, make yourself a new fresh life too - you deserve it. Might make him sit up and take notice, too....

[Sweetdimples67]

Thank you all ladies for the replies  after reading them i started to think long and hard about what I had read and what I had wrote. I had already joined the gym an planned events and nights out with friends and going to the gym sure helps. I woke early hours with a hot flush and rapid heartbeat so I got up did my breathing and drank some water. I am going to see my GP this week as I think i need something to help keep me calm and stop this anxiety jumping in and making me feel the way I do!!! Thank you so much for all your kind words and lets hope the next time I post I will be feeling much more positive x x x

Quick question as anyone else experienced their anxiety getting worse with the menopause ?

[Dancinggirl]

Oh yes, anxiety does get worse with the menopause. DG x

[Lisa1966]

Big hugs youve had a terrible time.i was poorly last year with horrific anxiety,but i got through it and u will too.

    Take care
       Lisa xx