Hi Mazzy,
Sorry to hear you are in so much pain, your appointment on 27 Feb must seem a long way off at the moment. I hope Daisydot's suggestion of coconut oil gives some relief. You could also try using Hydromol ointment as a barrier. It's a bit like applying lard but it does soften up.
I have VA but it was originally treated as possibly being lichen sclerosus. This was at the vulval clinic at the Chelsea and Westminster. I had no white patches and no itching, just soreness and slight changes to the vulval architecture. The steroid ointment of course didn't achieve anything. However, the tip about using a barrier such as Hydromol was useful. It provides a bit of lubrication and protects the area from contact with urine, which can be stingy.
I would think you would also find treatment for VA beneficial alongside any treatment for lichen sclerosus if the diagnosis of that is confirmed. Dermatologists aren't always good at recognizing VA in my experience! Vagifem might be the way to go rather than Ovestin, or possibly the Estring, while you are very sore. I know from experience that rubbing anything in is agony.
Perhaps someone else will be along who has some more useful suggestions. Sorry I can't offer any more ideas.
JP x