Hi Biker Chick
Others have posted with some good support. Can I suggest you really look at your original post on this thread - the answers to your problems are there if you look carefully.
You and your boyfriend have had a very tough couple of years and you both have a kind of post traumatic depression which needs time and some proactive measures to recover from. The menopause is just one aspect but so much of what you are both experiencing is to do with growing older. Adjusting to health issues and maintaining our self esteem because we don't feel valued or sometimes even necessary any more, is getting tougher and tougher these days.
Whilst having support and understanding from those around you is important, the most important thing is to support and help yourself. It takes courage and discipline, many small changes and sometimes some drastic measures. Set some simple goals each day and take each day one at a time. A good start might be something simple like sorting out your wardrobe.
Recently I woke feeling really, really low, so decided to tackle a few things I had been putting off - sort my chest of drawers and do my filing. Four hours later, I had tidy drawers of T shirts, undies and jumpers and my pile of things to file had disappeared. Then rewarded myself by buying a new, discounted, top from GAP online, had a long walk with my dog and then watched my favourite Jane Austen film. It didn't fix everything but I had that small sense of achievement that makes you feel good.
Writing things down is very helpful - lists can work wonders.
Write down the things that are important to you - then write down ways you can maintain and improve these things. Don't expect others to sort this - if you engage in proactive measures, others should respond positively if they are true friends. Your boyfriend won't seek his ‘fun time' from others if you show clear signs of wanting to have fun yourself.
You may have lost your job but you can surely find something to replace this? It may be a totally different type of job - put the feelers out, ask for advice, could you train or learn something new? You never know unless you try.
In the short term, an AD/SRRI might be appropriate - not sure whether you have gone down this route yet?
A friend of mine went through a particularly tough time that left her exhausted, generally unwell etc. - her GP looked at her kindly and said, “ you need a break from all this worry and stress. I want you to take these ADs for just a few weeks or months so you can allow your body and mind to recoverâ€. She did as she was advised, took the ADs for 6 months, life in the mean time settled, her health improved and she was able to move forward. She told me it was the best thing she could have done at that time as she knows she would have lost so much if she hadn't followed her GPs advice.
Life can and will be good again but it is down to you to make this happen - I know this sounds harsh but you have to be open to change. If you put out positive vibes, good things will come.
DG x
