Hi, I'm new to this forum and I'm completely lost as to how I feel. I wondered if any of you feel this way?
Basically, I moved abroad about 4 years ago and had no symptoms of perimenopause. Life is good, I'm very lucky that I have a great husband, great kids, the most fantastic supportive friends. I'm supported with whatever I want to do in life. Then middle of last year, I just started wanting to just hide away. I didn't feel good about myself, the brain fog kicked in and I couldn't really think straight. All I feel is that I am like a little boat with no sails, no engine and I'm just drifting around. The anxiety is just not good and I just feel safe if I lie down away from everyone. I look at everyone else and they all look so capable and I just feel hopeless like I can't achieve a great deal.
I haven't really got any physical symptoms. I went to the gynaecologist earlier this year and apparently I've still got a lot of eggs left and I'm fertile. However, my mum is only 17 years older than me and she is bang on full menopause. I can't drink alcohol as I get so hot in the middle of the night and water doesn't cool me down for a long time. Before, I even associated perimenopause about a week ago I had been going to the doctors for depression. I've stopped taking the anti depressants because the happiness just feels false and I don't feel in control. It's not sadness or depression just anxiety and wanting to hide away. It's like being on an emotional rollercoaster and I can't get off. I actually just want an invisibility cloak and come back when I think I can manage.
My issue is that I'm not sure if it's expat feelings or if I am peri. However, all the emotional side of peri is just how I feel and the exhaustion and feeling that I'm walking through cement is just crippling.
I've always struggled more emotionally with pmt than the physical side and I can get very hormonal.