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Author Topic: Parish Notices  (Read 6242 times)

CLKD

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Parish Notices
« on: April 07, 2017, 07:36:16 PM »


They're back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:   


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'The sermon tonight:'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
 
 
 
 
 
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MicheleMaBelle

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2017, 09:01:18 AM »

 :ange:  :lol:
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babyjane

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2017, 09:07:27 AM »

 :rofl: oh thank you for the chuckle  :)
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CLKD

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2017, 05:41:40 PM »

 :lol:
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dulciana

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2017, 08:15:52 PM »

 :rofl:

I've got one to add to the list (from a book of organ anecdotes).  Something along the lines of:  church order of service one Sunday, announced one of the hymns that week as "Our God Resigns"........!
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cubagirl

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2017, 09:39:07 PM »

Ah ladies, needed a laugh today.   ;D
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babyjane

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2017, 09:33:17 AM »

:rofl:

I've got one to add to the list (from a book of organ anecdotes).  Something along the lines of:  church order of service one Sunday, announced one of the hymns that week as "Our God Resigns"........!

 ;D

Looking at the world news I wouldn't blame him.  The wonderful thing about our God is that he still sticks with us and never gives up on us  :).
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dulciana

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2017, 09:38:41 PM »

That's right.  That's what we've got to remember.   
« Last Edit: April 17, 2017, 09:40:49 PM by dulciana »
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Katy

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2017, 09:51:15 AM »

That's given me a good laugh this morning - so funny :rofl:
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dolphin63

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #9 on: May 16, 2017, 12:03:37 PM »

 ;D  ;D
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CaroleM

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Re: Parish Notices
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2017, 10:50:44 PM »

Thank you for such a good giggle.  I now have one confused husband and one hen wondering why Mummy is wobbling because she's giggling so much ;)
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