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[slow]

Hi

I'm 47 and on my third hrt 'regime', which mostly seems to be working. I think I have been in peri for a couple of years at least, although the more I'm learning about the mood impacts I think it may be nearer 5 years as I have been to my gp several times in this period for help, as I've felt all the symptoms & debilitation of depression and yet I knew I was actually happy with my life! It turned into general anxiety then more focused financial & social anxiety. Eventually we agreed between us to try hrt as a possible solution and it would appear to be helping.

Started with patches - my gp's preferred option - but I couldn't get them to stay stuck?! I tried them for 2 months, (changing the patch weekly), but some of the patches only stayed on for 3-4 days.

Next up was Elleste, which I trued for 3 months. This was during Nov, Dec, Jan - our dark months - and I got pulled down into the worst depression / apathy / despair I have ever experienced. I wanted life to end and could see both no point to life and no way out except not living. It was horrendous. I didn't put it down to the hrt though - I 'believed' it & thought it was me, pointless. I think I eventually stumbled on something online as I searched for help, talking about hrt & depression, and I forced myself to get a gp appt, to tell her about this black depression and to discuss changing the hrt.

My gp listened & said she'd try a type with a newer progesterone, and I got changed to Femoston 1/10. I've just started my 2nd month on these and what a world of difference! The deep, drowning blackness is gone. I'm still having difficulties with defaulting to negative thought patterns but I think that's something I can learn to change with consistent practice - the last 5 years have laid down some very negative worn grooves of anxiety thinking to unpick. I'm also still feeling the exhaustion, tiredness and lack of motivation but compared to the winter it's all manageable. Onwards & upwards! And looking forward to the 'after' and embracing my life as Crone 🙂

slow

I'll keep reading and learning, and will look to add natural supplements & manage my days to give myself breaks when I need them but at last I feel I'm moving forward.

I have particularly found posts explaining about the types of hormones each tablet is made up of by @hurdity very helpful - and explained my different reactions to femoston and elleste duet. Thank you 🙂

[MicheleMaBelle]

Hello slow the crone!
Seems you've got a great GP so hang onto her as we've had far less clued up ones to deal with.
You sound as if you're on the right track so that's good news. keep going- winter is almost behind us and lots to look forward to.
Let us know how you're doing x

[slow]

Thanks for the welcome +Michelemabelle

My gp is lovely and not at all phased with me going in with my own research and asking her to try stuff with me. Having a supportive gp has been really helpful. Also, as I am long-term single and choose to live on my own (with my lovely dog Laila), it's good just to be able to talk things through that are niggling.

However, looking back, although she's lovely & listens, all the discoveries and linking have had to come from me so my advice to everyone is to keep researching if something's not adding up to you with your health!

I've just been reading new posts on here and come across 'menopause arthritus' as 'a thing' - I was back & forth to my gp four years ago with trigger thumb and arthritis in my knuckles, and was sent for ultrasounds and all sorts but no connection to peri-menopause was made (I woud have been 43 at the time so maybe too young for her to connect this)? Then it was a recurrence of back pain in the site if an injury I've struggled with for years - again, on its own not something to connect, but it has gone completely since being on hrt (& that's after months of gabapentin and an MRI-guided cortisone injection, with little effect). And the debilitating depression I went to her with, despite being really happy with my life & having made lots of positive changes to be doing just what I wanted. This then became severe anxiety and over-focus / fixation on finances, and then social interaction. Only now, reading & watching as much as I am about women in perimenopause am I putting all of this together. What a shame I didn't know this info earlier, before I needed it, and my gp wasn't able to put 2+2 together and come up with 'perimenopause' either - could have saved the NHS & me a lot of money! I'm not writing this to moan, or to blame, just as a reflection on my journey and my frustrations I guess at how utterly hidden an entire phase of women's lives is, leaving us ignorant when we could benefit so much from knowing options! And the rest of the world could then maybe have more understanding & compassion for what some women are coping with. So glad to have found this forum, and loom forward to more learning, offering & receiving support, and much more sharing what I learn out in the world 🙂

Thank you all for everything you share x

[slow]

Oh and I forgot ... memory problems! With the exhaustion & apathy as well (alien to me, after a life so far of loving long days & intense levels of energy pushing projects & businesses forward), I thought first that I had suddenly developed attention & concentration issues. I felt like I'd been taken over by an alien personality.

My gp sent me for assessment for Adult ADD!

The money that has been spent in chasing symptoms, yet it's only with hindsight & learning from this forum and elsewhere that I can join the dots. So much to make sense of! x

[MicheleMaBelle]

Oh slow- I ( we) understand completely and although we are all different there are striking similarities. all these seemingly unrelated symptoms culminating in a pit of despair. You feel so ill that you begin to think there is something seriously wrong with you. There are striking similarities between a lot of your symptoms and mine although I'm a bit older. 56 and back and forward to doc over last 3 years, anti depressants, herbal route before begging a getting HRT but they have been clueless about this. 3 different regimes all with the same type of progesterone, which I slowly began to link to some horrible side effects. It was only after I started with MM and read some stuff by prof john stud that I had my lightbulb moment.
Currently off work as I've made myself pretty unwell by soldering on and paid to see consultant privately last week so just starting new regime and if this doesn't work he's going to try me on Femeston. I've to give this 3 months to see if it works.
Interesting comments about your back- I was diagnosed with bursitis of the hip by my GP got physio, anti inflammatory drugs, cortisone injection ( privately- the consultant didn't even question the GPS diagnosis) . I was in a lot of pain and was told that there wasn't much else they could do so got second opinion from muscoskeletal doc- straight away she told me it wasn't my hip, it wasn't bursitis, I had damaged some muscles in my back ( fell down some stairs a few months previously) and intensive physio required. Physio advised that a lot of ladies of a certain age present with lower back problems! I've had the finger arthritis too and get odd sharp pains in my ankles etc etc. All menopause related as the muscles begin to get slack due to lack of oestrogen ( and the mad choking / coughing fits that I get ) Who'd have thought??? You've come to the right place here- you'll get lots of encouragement and support and it's good to offload to people who understand. Your dog sounds lovely 😊. Hope you start to feel a bit better soon and you get a solution that works for you

[slow]

Gosh Michelemabelle - your post sounds so familiar! How frustrating that we're all having to do our own research & joining the dots. I don't mind at all taking responsibility for my own health, but the dearth of quality research and factual information in the public domain is shocking me. I never used to be one to reach for the "if men had this ..." line, but since hitting peri I have become an awakened feminist! Luckily I can also appreciate that most of the men I spend my time around are also feminists - many of them more informed & practical implementors of feminism than me 😉

I am so sorry you've been on the journey yunhave, and I hope things improve with the new regime. I had to go private for my MRI injection too, (in order to get them immediately, when needed to avoid setting up a strong neural pain pathway) and am paying back a generous friend monthly for it - what a hit-&-miss DIY journey this menopause is! Best of luck to all of ys. I'm so glad I've found MM & each of you 😊

[Peri-wrecked]

Hi Slow,
Sorry you are having so many problems with his transition. All I can say is your peri experience sounds like what I'm going through right now. Of course I'm getting the 'your too young line' and I've also had numerous tests done at the cost of the health board-I wouldn't mind but I've actually told them it's perimenopause but they insisted on all the tests. It's like banging your head against a door. I've had everything including the debilitating anxiety followed by depression. I was at the happiest I ever was when this started but I was told I had to be depressed. Anyway, it is amazing how doctors don't join the dots etc regarding this debilitating transition. You would think that by now they see lots of women with the same symptoms. I hope the regime you are in now works for you. Best of luck with it.

[slow]

Hi Desperatedee

Gosh, such similar experiences. I hope you too have found / are finding a way through. So frustrating that we are half the population and yet this phase of all our lives is ignored as a full spectrum of connected symptoms! x x x

[Hurdity]

Hi slow

 

Glad you are finding the forum helpful and great news about your GP. Yes Femoston seems to be the best tolerated of all the tablet HRT types - not that I've ever tried it - but would be tempted to take dydrogesterone (the progestogen in Femoston) if it were still available separately in UK as you need much less of it than the progesterone (Utrogestan) I take (vaginally).

As a matter of interest what were your cycles doing in the time leading up to your first starting HRT ie were they very irregular? Often in the few months before the peri-menopausal transition and when you are still ovulating, periods can become closer together and also pms symptoms seem to become worse (they did with me) for many women. Some of the hormones begin to go awry - but there is no reliable way of measuring them as the one that is usually measured ( FSH) is often still at normal levels. Some women also start to get menopausal symptoms at this point as well as increased mood swings and find HRT to be a life-saver. Other women find it too much at this point. Trial and error is the only solution but as you say - more doctors should be clued up as to what happens to women from the late reproductive stage onwards so as to avoid sending them for unnecessary tests ( although it is good for unusual symptoms to be investigated first).

I'm sure you will have seen this article because I'm always linking to it but here it is again:
https://menopausematters.co.uk/magazine/pdf/Article%20-%20Perils%20of%20the%20Perimenopause.pdf

Ditto this paper on reproductive ageing criteria:
http://www.imsociety.org/downloads/email_downloads/2012_02_16_1773491/straw10.pdf

Hope this helps and I hope the HRT continues to work for you.

Hurdity x