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[Yahana]

Hello.  I have been reading and really enjoying this site for a few months.  I love checking to see what's new - thank you.
I am 55, stopped periods at 52 and apart from hot flushes, a frozen shoulder and aching hips was fine.  Then 18 months later I had a big emotional shock and within weeks my hot flushes got worse, especially at night (waking every 1 1/2 to 2 hours), my libido disappeared but the worst and scariest symptoms were brain fog and anxiety.  I was scared I had early onset dementia and the fear probably made everything worse.  I felt as if I had a lump of concrete in my belly.  Happily the doctor told me it was most probably all menopausal and eventually in March this year I started HRT (one pump of l'estrogel, now increased to two, and 5mg of Duphaston - I'm not in the UK) which has definitely helped.  I do lots of walking, breathing and mindfulness, which I see recommended a lot on here, and stopped eating sweet things a year ago on the advice of a wonderful acupuncturist.  I still sometimes get brain fog and it still scares me and starts the anxiety, but I am a whole lot better than I was, I think!  Fingers crossed...  I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience?

[Ju Ju]

Stress and emotional turmoil have far reaching effects on our health. It is now being recognised that less than ideal childhood experiences have an impact on adult health, just as much as sudden trauma.

Sparkle, I empathise with your grief for the death of your sister. My sister, my only sibling died too, though not suddenly, at the beginning of my perimenipausal journey. I suspect this didn't help my progress through this stage of life either.

And grief? It doesn't get smaller; you live with it and build your life around it, hopefully.

[Annie0710]

Hi and welcome

My symptoms seemed to appear overnight too, I certainly didn't notice any physical or emotional changes leading up to it, about 3 months after the sudden death of my dad, this shocked me massively as I'd already lost my mum to a sudden death too and at 45 I had no parents

I thought I had dementia too, I ached, hurt even, dizzy, weak , everything apart from flushes and I'd been taking hrt for years because of a hysterectomy so when they said I was peri menopause I didn't believe them, I'd already had the low oestrogen result years ago and treated it

But it's true, and I've read so often on here how peri started after a trauma, as if we didn't have enough to deal with at those awful times

X

[Dorothy]

I had minor symptoms for three years, but when my father died suddenly, my symptoms went off the scale. 

Two and a half years later, my neighbour was murdered, and again, my symptoms which had been reasonably under control, went into orbit. 

The GP who finally diagnosed me after my father's death said that it is very common for menopausal symptoms to be started or made much worse by emotional trauma.  I guess it makes sense - all your energy gets diverted to deal with the trauma so there isn't any to spare to deal with your reproductive system!

Hugs to Yahana and all you other ladies who have had a tough meno journey made even tougher by grief xxx

[Yahana]

Thank you all so much for your welcome, wise words and kind replies.  I'm really sorry to hear about all your losses.

 It's a much harder time of life than I ever realized or expected it to be. Had no idea that menopause could have such far-reaching effects, or that there was such a strong mind-body connection.

Hugs and thanks.

[Hurdity]

  Yahana.

As well as agreeing with what the others have said, the other thing is that your oestrogen levels fall dramatically overall following your last period and reach their all time low approx 2 years afterwards. Many women who have previously "sailed through" only start to experience symptoms at this point, or they worsen noticeably, so the emotional shock you experienced may have been a catalyst for would have happened anyway. In other words try not to feel or blame whatever happened as the cause of your symptoms. I do so agree about the strong mind body connection. It's a horrible time of our lives but if we are strong (and with a little help from HRT ) we can get through it and enjoy the next ( often long!) phase of our life with better quality of life than otherwise.

I do hope you continue to improve - sounds like you are doing all the right things.

Hurdity x

[Yahana]

Thank you very much Hurdity.  That was really helpful.
Actually felt really bad over the weekend!  The worst in quite a while.  I guess, despite HRT, there are still fluctuations?   

[CLKD]

   HORMONES  !  Plus the general ageing process, caring for and eventually having to say 'goodbye' to parents ……. shock can also trigger shingles.

[Hurdity]

When you say you felt really bad - in what way?

There are unlikely to be fluctuations that you would notice enough to make you feel that bad, once you have gone more than 2 or 3 years without periods. There is still some residual hormonal activity I gather for maybe a couple more years or so, but you would not have a cycle as such and especially if you are on continuous combined HRT your hormones will be on a pretty even keel. Sometimes there can be variability in absorption of added HRT depending on the type so this could account for your feelings, but also it could have nothing to do with hormones or HRT - after all we all have ups an downs.

Hope you are feeling better today

Hurdity x

[Yahana]

Thank you for the replies. 
I had brain fog and anxiety over the weekend.  Don't know which came first and wonder if it was triggered by drinking three cups of caffeinated tea which I don't usually do.  The reason I wondered about hormones was that it coincided with my daughter's period starting and I also had it when she had her last period...  Or maybe it was the supermoon!

[Hurdity]

Yahana - I doubt whether period synchronicity and associated feelings will occur if you are 3 years post-menopause - it is more likely to be the caffeine effects or something else. At this time of year we can feel up and down from day to day without even being able to pinpoint a cause! Ah yes - the supermoon I woke in the night and had a look but in my bleary-eyed state it looked the same as usual!

Hurdity x