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[Lu2]

So, hello.

I am sitting here slightly less scared out of my tiny cotton picking mind thanks to having found you... and not least the funny menopause symptoms thread.

I am 45 and, am extremely ashamed to admit, an ex-smoker. Although there are no half measures with these things, I was not a heavy smoker - more a social one which tended to spiral a bit when stressed - never more than 10/day. I was one of those off/on smokers through my 20s, had given up when I hit 31 and - had the odd relapse but then my world came crashing down 6 years ago and I started again. I finally jacked the whole thing in again in January this year and haven't touched one since.

I have, however, spent the last three years feeling absolutely and utterly awful. I've had chest x-rays, gastroscopies, thyroid tests, iron deficiency tests, certain cancer marker tests, scans, you name it, and each time it has come back with 'there's nothing wrong with you'. And the stream of doctors have progressively come to understand me to be a hypochondriac, I am sure,  one even telling me I  was a victim of my immunology degree. The only thing I've been told to try is not eating gluten, which helped for a bit with the upset stomachs, excess gas and stabbing pains. No one seemed to care about my feeling of 'my brain gets left behind when I turn my head, and sometimes it contracts', or my constantly feeling slightly fluey (lots of viruses about, you know).

This year I spent 6 months with a sore throat. Was finally given a hefty dose of antibiotics which cleared it temporarily. But I occasionally feel it creeping back.

My newest thing is breathlessness. I am fairly fit - I have a horse. I often, although I haven't for the last couple of months due to various things, cycle 15 miles of Yorkshire's finest hills. We have a treadmill and I can run on that for 45 minutes at 7.5km/hour. So why do I  feel like I am going to pass out when I climb the stairs, and why can't I run 30m with my daughter on her pony without my head pounding and feeling as though I'd like to take in the air but my lungs have capped the intake at about 30%? So, back to the doctor and a test for anaemia... no. Normal.

Then I found you. I am so relieved it's not true. Spinning head. Breathlessness. Flu-like symptoms. Quite a few others.... They all seem to peak around just before my periods which are like Niagara falls on a good day. Still regular(ish), though.

Of course, I am going to the doctor again. She said I should go back if the breathlessness got worse. It has, if I am honest. But that could be because I am in a flat spin panic and my brain, whilst physically spinning in the opposite direction to my head, is mentally going forward at 900 miles per hour. At least she is listening - previously, no one seemed to care.

I am so sorry if I have upset anyone going through treatment for cancer, I really don't mean to sound trite.

But thank you for your honesty on your threads.

If nothing else, I have something to beat the bad thoughts with.

Lu.

[dazned]

 


Glad to have you onboard this rocky ride !

[Annie0710]

Hi Lu and welcome


Your story sounds so familiar , before I realised it menopause I'd been referred to ENT and had a brain MRI (was convinced they wouldn't find one let alone anything wrong with it), I've seen a cardiologist too although they have said I have arrhythmia but at one time thinking I'd need an ablation

I've described it many times to people like a terrible virus that won't go away, I've had every blood test I think the NHS offer and yet the ones consistently showing anything is the sex hormones

I thought menopause meant a bit of moodiness and some hot flushes, but I've never had a flush just got lumbered with a 100 more different ones x

[CLKD]

I used to get wheezy pre-bleed.  Like my body built up fluids until I couldn't draw a breath. Once the bleed began the sensation went away.  I'm like it this week due to a cold/cough  . 

[Lu2]

Thank you so much for the welcome. You seem a wonderful, candid group and as I said, I am so grateful tp have found you.

[Justjules]

Hi Lu2

You're among friends here for sure!  It really does help to know you're not suffering alone.

Hugs from me. x

[Lostit]

Hi there I know exactly what you mean about the brain being left behind and the flu symptoms. I started in January with dizziness, weird brain trickles and full ears. Been down the ENT route nothing wrong,MRI clear. So many odd indescribable symptoms.  Don't think there is one part of my body not affected.  The feeling of hypochondria sets in when you are trying to describe how you feel especially to medical people  who are really wanting you to fit a list of defined symptons.   I too have horses and they really keep me going. I no longer ride but I think I would have run off screaming by now if it wasn't for my animals and brilliant husband and daughter. I hope you have supportive people around you. Every day is a different struggle. I would love to scream at people who say"can't you take HRT?" No I can't! And the best are people who say "really I only had a few hot flushes". Keep smiling through and enjoy your daughter and horse.x

[CLKD]

Oh my brain moving slightly slower than the rest of me    - I've had 2 Germs this year and each began with those symptoms  plus feeling hung over 

Browse round.

[Hurdity]

Hi Lu2

  from me too.

Sorry to hear you are feeling rough - and you certainly don't need to be ashamed of being an ex-smoker - that's something to be very proud of!  It's extremely difficult quitting this addictive habit so well done you!!!

Re what you are feeling - if you have had lots of tests then good news that there is nothing seriously wrong. If your diet is good you should not be deficient in vitamins and minerals?

You mentioned your periods - are they still regular or maybe your cycle has become shorter? This often happens just before peri-menopause - and at this time some hormone levels begin to change even though you are still ovulating. Many women find that pms becomes much much worse at this stage and hormones begin to fluctuate. It can be a difficult stage to treat with HRT because oestrogen levels are often high and also decrease suddenly at different points in the cycle . However some gynaecologists prescribe the birth control pill at this point (in a woman's reproductive life) to regulate the cycle and keep hormone levels fairly stable. There are two which contain the same oestrogen as in HRT (and is bio-identical to our own oestrogen) - unlike the strong synthetic ones that young women often take. Is this a possibility you could consider?

Glad to hear you are fairly fit - so important for women to become fit as they enter this stage of life - it sets you up for the years ahead

Hurdity x

[Lu2]

Thank you for your reassurance everyone.

I do need to convince the doctor to do some oestrogen level tests. I do still have periods. Until very recently, they've been very regular. But oh, so heavy (14 tampons in one day type heavy), and short. Blessedly - 3 days. But this month threw a curve ball - was a very short cycle. And now AWOL.

Ref the chest thing. My last chest x-ray was at Christmas 2014. You'd have thought that was a wake up call, wouldn't you? Well, I managed 3 months of no smoking. Sort of. Then the bottom fell out of my world again - and the odd cigarette here and there became 5 - 6 per day. And then whilst we worried we would be on the streets/in debtors' prison, it went up. I am just so angry and frustrated with myself. Really, really cross. Reading back over the last 6 years of diaries and I am so disappointed in myself. I had a wake up call in 2012 which also lasted all of 3 months of quitting. And I feel more dreadful than ever, that doesn't help.

I have a spiro test this afternoon. What if that is bad? I really need to put on my brave pants and ask for another x-ray. Seeing various bits of news about people getting lung cancer at such a young age just sends me in to a spin. I keep waking up in the middle of the night because my dreams are just too awful. I want to cry and can't. My children are young (12 and 9) and I have been such a bad mother, committing suicide four inches at a time behind their backs.

All those tests I mentioned, I should point out I really, really had to fight for. And when they came back normal, no one seemed interested in checking anything else. Fortunately, the last GP I spoke to was on my side, it seemed. Although now I find I can't get an appointment until mid November.#

Gah.

Sorry, that has turned into rather a selfish post. But thank you for your wisdom, welcome and sympathy.

[Lu2]

Lu2, please don't beat yourself up, we've all done things we wished we hadn't - hindsight is brilliant. When life gets stressful we cope any way we can.  I used to fall onto a bottle of wine when I was stressed.  Now I can't drink at all thanks to digestive issues!  What's done is done.  The trouble with peri is it's such a stressful time in itself, let alone all the other things we still have to deal with.  How's the smoking now?  Have you tried patches or any other quitting smoking techniques?

Re the periods - mine did similar but fortunately I didn't get the flooding but I did have the missing the odd one, then slightly closer together, then six weeks instead of four, then awol for three months and now not had a proper one since March.  So what you're describing is pretty normal. 

Keep posting on here, we're all here for you.  And good luck for later, let us know how you get on.

S x

Thank you. I haven't smoked since 23 December, actually. The day our remortgage came through and saved us from utter devastation. Except on two occasions earlier in the year when I had had a little too much to drink and had a couple. I felt absolutely horrible afterwards. The mere smell of them makes me feel sick. The key to quitting for me was removing myself from the environment that encouraged it, not just the situation but the 'friends' who all smoked like chimneys, too. It's such a powerful addiction, I'd sit there thinking 'Well C's at least 8 years older than me and she doesn't seem to be suffering any consequences - she's beautiful...'

I  think that celeb who found herself breathless running up the stairs a few weeks ago and is now diagnosed with Stage IV is what has absolutely and utterly freaked me out.

Because I can't run walk up the stairs without feeling breathless.

Anyway, I am off for this spiro appointment. And will be brave.

[Lu2]

Thank you.

Yes, the anxiety levels are ridiculous, aren't they. I liken them to a big ball of string with lots of loose ends and a desperate situation to find the one that unravels it but they all just seem to tie it tighter. I absolutely refuse to go down that route again, though. The last time they got so bad I ended up with a Valium addiction to deal with, too. That's me, I guess, addictive personality.

I found the funny symptoms thread and felt so relieved. For which I thank all of you.

A spirometry test is a lung function test. You blow into a machine (a bit like the old asthma tests) in various ways and it assesses your lung capacity. The key result is the ratio of air you are able to exhale in 1 second to the total volume of air you can exhale. If this is less than 70%, you likely have COPD. Fortunately mine came out at 72% including the chesty cough I seem to have developed this morning (it has been lurking) so I am hugely relieved on that score. What is shocking, though, is that my lungs are 9 - 14 years older than me. So, I will be hitting the exercise with a vengeance. Hopefully it will relieve some of the anxiety whilst I wait for a(nother) chest x-ray. I have to see the doctor to discuss the results on Friday.

I wonder how often they'll do the spiro test for me? I wonder if I can use it as a monitor? I feel positively light shouldered finding there's nothing fundamentally wrong capacity-wise indicating COPD. But at the same time horrified by the age of my lungs. These, fortunately, if there is nothing else wrong, can be rejuvenated. If only the same could be said for wrinkles, joints and the slippery slope to menopause.

[Hurdity]

Thank you for your reassurance everyone.

I do need to convince the doctor to do some oestrogen level tests. I do still have periods. Until very recently, they've been very regular. But oh, so heavy (14 tampons in one day type heavy), and short. Blessedly - 3 days. But this month threw a curve ball - was a very short cycle. And now AWOL.

You don't need to have your oestrogen levels tested - but the doc might suggest FSH levels. However if you have started skipping periods - (is this what you mean - you haven't had one for a while?) and you are 45 and experiencing symptomns then this is sufficient to determine you may be peri-menopausal. I mentioned in my post below what happens just before peri-menopause,  re cycles - and when hormonal changes start to occur. It now depends on whether you want to do anything about this at the moment.

It does sound like you need to get the rest of your health on track, but one possibility is the birth control pill I mentioned there are two - one called Qlaira and the other Zoely - which would stop the heavy bleeding and keep your hormone levels stable.

Here is some information about peri-menopause :

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/article-perils-of-the-perimenopause.php

and some about Qlaira ( scroll down):

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/contra2.php

Hope this helps and also hope your tests have a positive outcome ie nothing seriously wrong with your lungs - do keep us posted. Oh and good luck with the exercise - also singing is good for lungs

Hurdity x

[Lu2]

You don't need to have your oestrogen levels tested - but the doc might suggest FSH levels. However if you have started skipping periods - (is this what you mean - you haven't had one for a while?) and you are 45 and experiencing symptomns then this is sufficient to determine you may be peri-menopausal. I mentioned in my post below what happens just before peri-menopause,  re cycles - and when hormonal changes start to occur. It now depends on whether you want to do anything about this at the moment.

It does sound like you need to get the rest of your health on track, but one possibility is the birth control pill I mentioned there are two - one called Qlaira and the other Zoely - which would stop the heavy bleeding and keep your hormone levels stable.

Here is some information about peri-menopause :

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/article-perils-of-the-perimenopause.php

and some about Qlaira ( scroll down):

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/contra2.php

Hope this helps and also hope your tests have a positive outcome ie nothing seriously wrong with your lungs - do keep us posted. Oh and good luck with the exercise - also singing is good for lungs

Hurdity x

Thank you so much for the information. Yes to missing period.

It was the practice nurse at my last abode (have moved Up North) that suggested that all my crazy ups and downs were perimenopause. She said I was the right age, asked a few questions, ticked a box or three, nodded wisely and then said come back in three months. Of course I then moved.

I shall discuss everything with the doctor on Friday, especially the Qlaira which sounds a much better option than tranexamic acid. In the meantime, I shall hop back on my bike (it has been a bit lame so out of action for a couple of months but needs must) and the treadmill, and the horse. I am not exactly inactive, just, it seems not enough to increase the speed of the recovery of my lungs after 6 years of abuse. If I suffer from breathlessness on the way, well the lungs can do one.

[flutterby]

Hi Lu2 I can empathise with you I had the same sort of feeling in my head, sometimes when I was sitting down I felt as if it moved to one side of my body. I also felt as if I was going to pass out with just small exertion, never did but legs were like jelly. However this was long before the menopause and in the end I put it down to my high anxiety state. Keep up your exercise but be gentle with yourself when you need it. Flutterbyx