Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Justjules]

Why is it that as soon as I think my anxiety has been brought under control and things start picking up and I feel like I can cope, something else comes along to put a stop to it....

After my breakdown earlier this year, I'm still, as always, struggling with not much energy or stamina and people keep saying it will get better but I did some thinking the other day, and I've been like this on and off since I was a child but nothing ever found. 

Basically, lately been having funny little head turns - make me go 'whoa' for a minute but then because I've started worrying about them because I have heart anxiety, they've got a bit more frequent i.e. daily since last week.  I was standing at the sink the other night just rubbing some dirt off something and felt this weird feeling come up from my legs all the way up and thought I was going to pass out but didn't but it shook me up so off to Dr Google.....read about PoTs, heart disease etc. so everything seems to fit.  The not being able to walk without feeling worn out, funny head things and then this morning, made myself walk up two flights of stairs to the office instead of the lift, and heart starting beating really fast and then at my desk I felt the faintness - scared the **** out of me so now sat at my desk imagining heart bypass surgery, awful tests etc.  It must be my heart surely?  I've had normal ecgs - one a couple of weeks ago and about 5 years ago had the echo and treadmill but was okay - would something have worsened within the 5 or 6 years?  I believe a normal ecg isn't good enough to tell these things.  I'm terrified of tests, especially the tilt test and also don't want to go back down the black hole of anxiety so soon.  I'm scared I might have given myself heart disease because of how stressed I have been and how bad my anxiety was as I read it can give it you......I can't concentrate now....shallow breathing and bringing on ectopics when I walk or thinking that my heart is going to give out....ridiculous but I am terrified just thinking about it.  I am so cross with myself as I was getting better, or so I thought....

[walking the dog]

Big hug justjules. Anxietys an awful thing (it rules my life) it creeps up and attacks from no where and even though we know its anxiety its also very real to those if us who suffer from it.
Got no advice really just wanted to let you know your not alone and I feel your pain xx

[Justjules]

Thanks WTD - I know nobody can say but it helps to write it out....x

[Bettyboo]

Oh Jules - don't now what to say really. BIG HUGS 

Seems to be one step forward and two back with this dreaded meno thing.

BB xx

[Dyan]

Justjules

[Justjules]

Thanks ladies, been a horrible anxious day. Probably making it worse concentrating on everything and feeling too scared to move from my desk.

Sparkle, I can't even describe the lack of energy, it's like a spaced out weakness and feels like I have no energy in my heart if that makes sense? I've had this in varying degrees for many years and it's always put down to anxiety or emotional exhaustion. The weird head whooshes and fainty feeling is new but again, could be anxiety although I am not anywhere near as anxious as I was. I just observe everybody doing normal stuff that I find impossible so interpret it as being seriously ill. That's when the ruminating starts and I'm 6 steps ahead on an operating table!!

[dangermouse]

Hey there. You may be having tachycardia in relation to your hormones. When mine were out of control (and even now when my oestrogen goes too high), I get adrenal surges and a constant tachycardia (varies between 90-120bpm resting). It causes me to get out of breath just walking at a normal pace and so exercise is completely impossible. I've found now that adding more progesterone helps to bring it down.

So there is a physical link with the heart and our hormones but it's not dangerous (if this is what you are experiencing) as its just the brain reacting to hormone volatility but its just beating the same as if you were exercising. It's just a horrible feeling, because you aren't and so it's disconcerting!

Are you back on the beta blockers? It could also be a side effect as the dose wears off?

[Justjules]

Yes, Dangermouse, back on BBs and felt so much better. Now wobbly and weak legs are back too which is a symptom of heart trouble.

[Scampi]

I agree with Sparkle - everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, you describe are symptoms of chronic fatigue.  Chronic fatigue isn't just 'being a bit tired' - it knocks you for six with no warning as your energy is there one minute and totally gone the next.  I read a really good explanation of it - the 'spoon' theory. 

[Justjules]

Sparkle, I hope it is just that even though it's an awful thing to have.  I know I've felt like this on and off before but after this last bout of anxiety it's worse, probably because of hormones.  Therapist says it's early days to be expecting to feel better but the trouble is, family just think you are over it now so should be 'normal' and back to doing what you used to, which again, isn't what everybody else seems to be able to do.  I try to pace myself but then freak out when something like walking up the stairs did that yesterday so I've made myself more anxious now by reading up on all the possible causes and people's stories - fool to myself!

Scampi, thanks.  I will look at the 'spoon' theory.  I don't know whether it's a mental anticipation thing, but I have to plan where I need to walk and whether I can do it which the family says 'is all in my head'.  I have a cleaner and an ironing lady otherwise haven't got the stamina to do that either any more.  I feel like an invalid and so I'm really treating myself as one for fear of conking out!  I've just finished a mega course of VitD so expected to be feeling some difference but nothing so far....

Thanks for your responses - sorry it's a bit of a 'panic' post and a bit dramatic but I can't tell anybody else so let it out on here.
xx

[coldethyl]

Stay away from Google. It really isn't your friend.  I often get weird and wonderful whooshes , racing heart and generally weird feelings. So does my mum who has been tested for everything under sun including the tilt test and nothing major found ( some of hers is down to an extra cervical rib ) mr ethyl was trying to describe some weird feeling he gets in car to me and I thought, that's just like what I get sometimes - this made me realise that it's our reaction to these things that make them far worse or appear more significant than they are. He just says that it's because he's tired or a bit stressed whereas I've a tumour, heart problems, epilepsy and so on.
If you are really concerned, then posting on here isn't the answer. A trip to the GP and a frank discussion about how you feel will yield better results, even if it means finding out something you are scared to hear. If you are really ill, then you are really ill and no amount of hiding behind anxious thoughts but no action will change that.  Far better to go to doctors now , nip this in bud and move on. Normally I wouldn't suggest such a thing to someone as you need to learn techniques to cope but I a suspect that your recovery is only such wobbly early day foundations at the minute that it may be better to get a medical opinion on how you are feeling and use this as the first step to moving forward. Recovery is very up and down and setbacks are normal. X

[countrybumpkin]

I am hoping that when they told you to stop the betablockers they also explained that your heart would be strange for a time after, as without the bb's removing the adrenalin for want of a better name your heart is suddenly exposed to all the stress/anxiety hormones that the bb's were stopping.  this is not dangerous but you will be more prone to fast heartbeat etc as before your heart was being artificially kept slow.

Anxiety itself can give you every single symptom you have described and its a downward spiral as you then worry about the symptoms.

If you must google   then always put your symptom in with the word anxiety afterwards this gives a totally different list of possibles.  Google left to its own devices always goes for worst case most serious scenario.

I can attest to the hormone hell for your heart - I developed super ventricular tachycardia in peri meno which is not dangerous but is unpleasant and its triggered by homronal upheaval like puberty pregnancy and menopause.  These effects are not dangerous but they put our anxiety through the roof

[Justjules]

Coldethyl, I am reluctant to go to GP as my lovely GP has now left and I don't feel that any of the others will understand the same or know anything about me personally apart from what they quickly look at on the screen.  She knew my background, my problems, my anxiety, personality, everything.  At this age, anything is taken to be possibly serious so you're whisked off for endless tests, sometimes unnecessarily so, so don't want that. I know, I'm frustrating but very scared, ridiculously so, and I don't seem to have any coping mechanism and that's the problem.  It's not realistic to expect good health for life so I need to accept that.

CB - no, nobody explained anything about what to expect when I came off the BBs and now I'm back on them, at least I feel better. 

xx

[dangermouse]

It may be that the BBs have now met your demand for the rebound effect from stopping the BBs suddenly before. Now they may be slightly more than you need and causing some low BP?

You can break them in half and try half the dose to see if this fixes it as one of the ideas was to go back on them and then gradually wean yourself off them, so your brain doesn't over compensate as it did before. Or if you want to stay on them you may just need a slightly lower dose.

I'm sure you'll get there in the end!

[Justjules]

Thanks Dangermouse.  I honestly don't think it's anything to do with the BBs now as I was feeling much better but since back from my holiday 6 weeks ago, slowly feeling worse again. Hoping it's a blip but can't even explain how exhausted I feel and the wobbly legs are back    I think evenings are the only time I feel okay and then can't wait for my bed.