Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[gerrystamp]

Hi Ladies

I'm writing this having bunked off work today as I just could not face going in ... It's both wonderful and sad that so many of us are in the same boat when it comes to a certain time of life - in my case 54.  Like so many other ladies on here, I have suddenly realised that I have gone from an attractive, fairly confident efficient secretary at work to someone who (I feel) is just useless, that I'm lucky to have a job, I cross question myself a million times a day, my confidence is less than zero, I feel slightly paranoid all the time and that someone is going to find out and I'll lose my job - which is all just mad.  I am either itching for a fight with my fiancé or in floods of tears - I just can't cope with not being able to cope anymore.  My problem is that I have read so much stuff, that I'm virtually constipated by conflicted messages and information; to the point that I just haven't done ANYTHING.  Finally went to the doctors today and said I need SOMETHING!  I don't know if it's HRT or antidepressants but I need something.  He has given me a very low dose anti D which I have just taken.  I can't believe how much this menopause has affected me.  I feel like I'm never going to enjoy anything again, I just yearn to be "normal (whatever that is) and take some pleasure in things again.  I love making cards and I have a ton of stuff which is just strewn around my bedroom because when I do sit down to do something, I feel like I'm a fraud and untalented and can't do it anyway.  Mmmmm, not a very good way to introduce myself I guess but I know that reading the contents of this forum, lots of ladies are in the same position and that does bring me comfort.  Thanks for reading my spiel - and truly I could not remember the name of forget me nots, which is actually quite funny when you think about it!

[CLKD]

   sounds 'within normal limits' from where I'm sitting!  Browse round.  Make notes 

Are you depressed?  GPs are not supposed to prescribe anti-depressant medication when ladies are more likely to be menopausal  .  Once you have read on here and ticked off your symptoms against what others talk about, you can go back to the Surgery better informed.  Did the GP discuss HRT at all this morning?

Many ladies find that they lose confidence.  It will pass.  I got through severe depression by making notes each evening so that I had something to tick off, which showed me exactly what I *was* achieving.  Anything not done went onto the next list.  Some ladies find keeping a mood/food diary helpful.

Forgetting words, names, places is 'common'  and as you work through the Forum, you'll see we have a 'doing silly things' thread 

[Kathleen]

Hello gerrystamp and welcome to the forum.

As you have seen there are many of us struggling with the same issues.  You are not alone and yes, that is kind of sad!

Your forget me not story raised a smile and again, not unusual for us meno victims. My latest incident was pulling into our driveway and commenting to my husband that our son must have gone out in our car as I couldn't see it parked where we usually leave it. If you didn't laugh, you'd cry.

Hope you feel better soon.
Take care and keep posting.

K.

[gerrystamp]

Hi Kathleen

Thank you so much for your reply.  I laughed out loud when I read about the car, that is EXACTLY the sort of thing I do!

Will keep reading and posting!

Gerry

[gerrystamp]

Hi CLKD - thanks for your reply.  My GP seemed to think that HRT wasn't quite so relevant as I don't have so many hot flushes now and "down below" as he put it isn't really too much of a problem ... I have to say that I think it is definitely a hormonal imbalance but that's something I need to see about - depending on how these antidepressants work.  Will definitely keep reading though, as everyone's experiences are bound to prove helpful.

I think a diary is probably a good thing to do - easy to forget the good stuff and just concentrate on the bad!

Gerry

[Joyce]

I'd read up a bit, search on here too. Many GPs are still prescribing antidepressants, when HRT may well be more beneficial at this time of our lives. Most recent research suggests this may be the case. There are alternatives to HRT too, take a look at our alternatives section. 

[CLKD]

Go back and tell your GP that not many ladies get hot flushes anyway  .  Certainly they shouldn't be used as a ruler for whether a lady is depressed or going through menopause.  As for 'down below', how dreadful that he should use that criteria 

Make notes.  Go see your Practice Nurse perhaps? 

[Mary G]

gerrystamp welcome to MM.

Your doctor should not be offering you ADs as the first line of defence for the menopause, they should be offering you HRT which is very clearly what you need - all your symptoms scream menopause.  The guidelines were changed recently but too many GPs are ignoring them and still giving out ADs like Smarties.  Many women on here do take ADs alongside HRT and do very well on both but you should try HRT first and then, if you still feel depressed and/or anxious, take ADs.

You have two choices, either ask your GP to refer you to a menopause clinic or seek advice elsewhere and pay for it.  I am the same age as you and a patient of Professor John Studd and take Oestrogel/Utrogestan and it is the best HRT regime I have used by a very long way.  I can honestly say that I feel completely back to normal so I must be doing something right.

Try the NHS route first by all means but don't hang around too long if you don't get anywhere because it is your life and your time you are wasting feeling the way you do.  You do have a choice. 

[CLKD]

   Mary G - is it down to money that GPs won't prescribe what is required?  Surely they wouldn't get away with such measures if this were heart medication required or a diabetic 

[Mary G]

CLKD, very true and they are also happy to give out ADs and contraception pills like Smarties but seem to turn into Jobsworths when it comes to HRT which, incidentially, is not expensive. 

[CLKD]

Lack of knowledge then!  Lack of training, sympthaty, empathy (pity I can't spell  ) ………

[Audreyhaffenden]

Hi gerrystamp

You sound a lot like me, I'm so anxious at work and if the slightest thing does go to plan I flap like a little girl lol.
I'm a phlebotomist, so I take blood and do lots of injections, I hv to double and treble check everything I do as I'm so worried I'm going to make a mistake.  Before this I was confident and great at my job, everyone at work keeps saying but you're great at your job and tbh I've never made a mistake but I keep worrying I will.  If someone asks me what the blood test I'm doing is for my mind just goes blank I've had to write everything down so I know if my mind goes blank I've got my "comfort blanket ".
Hopefully one day we will look back and laugh at this but I don't feel like laughing much at the moment.

[CLKD]

   Audrey  -  as a Medical Secretary I always make lists as it went over my head otherwise being as we were 'at it' all the while 

Browse round.  Make notes. Join in!

[Hurdity]

Hi gerrystamp

 

I often can't remember the right words for things - and I've been on HRT for over 9 years! I'm 63 though - but it started happening ages ago 

Hurdity x

[Evelyn63]

I can so identify with this post, I changed from a confident senior  health professional to someone who couldn't remember colleagues names!  I too doubted my ability, checking and double checking everything, and I'm sure driving everyone around me mad.  I worried when there was nothing to worry about, ringing up on nights off to check on patients.  I doubted my ability to do anything, and felt continually tearful and sad.

I was fortunate to be in a position financially where I could afford to take early retirement but looking back, those were difficult times.  My job was extremely stressful which didn't help matters.  Now I'm so much happier, still have anxious days, and I will always be a worrier /over thinker, but I keep a gratefulness notebook, where each day I try to jot down a few simple things that have made me grateful .  It's been amazingly helpful.   As have my " lists of lists" as long as I remember to look at them