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[dolly64]

Hi,have posted a few times over past months,and hope to get some more helpful insights.
Started off back end of September,palpitations and the anxiety the main problems,periods hit and miss for ages.had a monitor and eventually told that ok,was already put on propranolol which dr has left me on as helping keep heart slower when anxiety strikes.

I was trudging along slowly,doing best to cope and deal with anxiety,with only the bbs,i could see improvement the more I made self do walks,go shops ect,and then last weekend started to feel worse,more jittery,then anxiety in the night and morning as the week went on,ibs,no appetite again.cant think of anything specific ive changed.

I have been keeping note of the days and I am on day 41 of this cycle,no period has appeared,could it be the hormones causing the flare up anxiety and what can I do to help myself.i am feeling so awful and sorry for myself,which I know isn't going to help,i am trying do relaxation exercises and tapping ,making self eat small amounts.

any advice greatly appreciated.
dolly64.

[Justjules]

Hi Dolly.  Sorry you are feeling so rotten. Join the club. I have started on some ADs this week, really low dose but it's completely upped my anxiety to the point that I don't think I can cope with it. Just want to sit here, can't eat today, haven't slept for more than 4 hours for a week and had terrible panic attack type episodes through the night which has left me upset this morning. Started some therapy again yesterday but going to take a while. Ther's plenty of us suffering the same on here at tho mo, so at least vent and share. x

[dolly64]

hi just jules.oh no,do ADs generally do that at the beginning,ive never taken any before and wondering lately if I will have to take.why does so much meds make it worse,its all so unfair on us.do you have hrt also?
Once we feel so yucky its so hard to stay positive and carry on regardless isn't it,the flipping brain takes over.ive managed a dog walk with hubby today but woozy headed,slightly weak leg feeling,kept telling it to sod off but it ignored me,again.
I hope you feel better as the day goes on.im going to watch a funny film later and try have a laugh.perhaps some of my colouring book,but can make me feel more unbalanced if already quify head.
ive started an online cbt thing,dr gave website,havnt got real face to face therapy around here it seems.which is annoying as think that makes a lot of difference.
dolly.

[newbeginnings]

Hi Dolly
lots and lots of support to you. Its opened my eyes to see how many of us have these awful symptoms I really thought I was so alone till I joined the forum. I think its the only way to get through it to learn ways to cope and gradually get sronger like tapping and mindfulness relaxation type things. I do believe one day I'll be better although when I'm having an anxiety or panic attack thats not what I think. I read somewhere the anxiety is like being stuck in tunnel vision and to ry and remember that and remember there are times when you do think very differently in times of strength and peace.

[babyjane]

I started a low dose AD in November and yes, it did all the things you describe in the beginning to the point I rang the surgery in desperation on the 5th day.  They said take a day at a time and if it was not better by the weekend (2 days away) contact them and stop the medication.  Well by the weekend it was no worse so I kept thinking 'I will see how it is tomorrow'. After 10 days things were improving and I am glad I stuck with it as although they upset my stomach I am on an even keel now to the point where 2 people this week have commented on how much more relaxed I seem to be and they didn't know I was taking anything.

[Justjules]

Hi Dolly, no, not all ADs make you feel rubbish, just some and everybody's experience on them is different. I took Citalopram for years and it was really good, no problems whatsoever but now I have to have a different one and it's just making me feel a but rubbish but hopefully will settle. I have only started on a really low dose so that should help.  No, never taken HRT, just think the Citalopram got me through meno but tried 6 months without them and it's been awful. Anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks again. It's a frustrating journey and can only take one day at a time I suppose, some are horrible at the moment though and it's hard to see how it's going to improve but we are all sharing on here and you never know, somebody just might find the key!

[babyjane]

knowing others feel the same helps when you feel you are the only one feeling these things.

[Justjules]

BJ, it's day 5 so not going to give up until I see some improvement as I have promised my Mum I would carry on regardless of how rubbish I feel. I can cope with the lack of appetite and a bit of IBS, it's just the heightened anxiety that is getting to me as I can't stand the feeling and it makes me panicky.  haven't done much in the way of housework or shopping since the beginning of the week either which is getting to me now. Really considering not going into work on Monday and giving myself some time out but OH will moan but if it was a bad cold, that's acceptable isn't it yet we can't be off if our 'head' isn't well can we! Just sick of trying to put a face on for work when just want to sit in front of computer and do nothing.

[dazned]

Justjules give him a   

Say you have sickness and diarrhea take some time out for your body to adjust to the medication,mine took about 10 days and no way I could have gone to work 

[dolly64]

hi,thanks for your replies and info.like you all say it really helps to know how many of us women have nasty anxiety to cope with.
like you say newbeginnings try other things,i am trying tapping,i also downloaded a relaxation thing and just found headspace,do at different times of the day.
Glad for you babyjane that your Ad is starting to make a difference.
I really hope that your new AD settles and you feel the difference soon justjules,because like you say it makes us feel awful.
Hoping we all get improvement and continue to fight our way through it in whatever ways we can.
dolly.

[Justjules]

Dazned yeh, might have to tell a little porkie pie...will see how I feel by Monday am....don't want to sit about at home moping and ruminating though but at least I would be getting time out.

[coldethyl]

Dazned yeh, might have to tell a little porkie pie...will see how I feel by Monday am....don't want to sit about at home moping and ruminating though but at least I would be getting time out.

Can you not get signed off for a week? Or do you not want work to know?

[CLKD]

Ask your GP to sign you off for a week?  I think we have to self-certyfy for the 1st few days - I think being honest with employers is important or maybe a close colleague, does your Company have a reliable HR Dept.?

 

[Justjules]

Don't really want work to know...I work for a legal practice ...employment lawyers!!! When I had a blowout at one of the particularly difficult female lawyers earlier in the summer, HR initially were very sympathetic as I told them I was having withdrawal symptoms from ADs but then once they spoke to her, turned it all round to being me at fault so don't trust them, they weren't helpful or understanding and handled it badly.  Even though depression is classed as a disability in law, you would be disgusted at how employers can get round these things and it dismays me sometimes.

You can self cert for the first 7 days.

[coldethyl]

Just lie then. Say you have a stomach bug and self-certify.

I'm lucky in that I don't work as I doubt I'd manage a day at the minute. On the otter hand, distraction is supposedly key to recovery too so if you think you are only going to sit at home worrying, it might help to go into work if you can manage it. You could always go in and if you are struggling say that you feel unwell and need to go home.