Hello Friends
There have been a lot of threads on the subject of anxiety recently, in particular health anxiety. It is something that I suffer from, so I have been following the posts with interest. One thing that has just occurred to me is that often you don't realise how bad your were/ are until you are starting to come out of it.
On and off I have had HA for about three years and peri symptoms for the same length of time. I've recently had a very bad patch and was on the verge of asking for ADs at the Drs ( I think I might have posted about it). In addition to the constant (every three minutes - I timed them) black, negative thoughts, I had pains everywhere, joints, muscles, stomach, IBS, you know the score. I was unable to go shopping or out for a meal in case I needed the toilet and could not find one. Although I appeared to be working (I work from home) in fact I was just staring at the computer or looking up illnesses on Google. I felt I could not plan anything for the future.
In a last ditch attempt to avoid the Dr (OH threatened to get her to come round to house as I was refusing to go) I decided to try a mindfulness app and also do some reading/research. I was very sceptical that anything could help as I had read some anxiety books in the summer and tried some suggested techniques like labelling thoughts but it just didn't work. So I read a book about a success story in recovering from HA (by a male writer) and also some extracts of more serious books (via Kindle samples), also I read the Ruby Wax book Sane New World. I downloaded the Headspace app onto my phone and began to do it every day. Just the free trial at first, but I have carried on and done the full paid for 30 days, plus the sleep app part every night and now I am working through the anxiety unit.
It's very very early days at the moment and I have only been shopping a couple of times and for a McDo (sad I know I love them). I know that everything could relapse BUT I have just noticed that 90% of the pains have gone. I did get a bad ovarian pain the other day, but instead of sitting in front of the computer looking up cancer I took an ibuprofen and carried on working. I've also noticed that the 'chattering' in my head has reduced - it's not gone, but I don't 'hear' it as much. I've also noticed that I am getting more proper work done. It could just be a coincidence but I wonder if there may be something in this mindfulness after all.
Thank you meno friends for being here, as others have said, there have been times when only the existence of the forum has kept me from total melt-down.
BB
