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[Justjules]

Coldethyl....good luck too...good idea!

[Dorothy]

Does your anxiety shift from one health issue to another?  Mine does, so I've found it helpful to note what I am worrying about & when.  Because the worry shifts from week to week, or even day to day, I can look back and see how many major illnesses I've convinced myself I have in the past 2 weeks & it makes it easier to convince myself that it's all in my mind!  I've also been able to see a pattern to some pains - e.g. headache immediately before I start bleeding (so probably linked to hormones, not a brain tumour), breast pain (ditto)

I also have a rule the health issue has to be a problem for 10 days before I go to the GP - inevitably, by the end of 10 days, I've moved on to a new illness!

[coldethyl]

Does your anxiety shift from one health issue to another?  Mine does, so I've found it helpful to note what I am worrying about & when.  Because the worry shifts from week to week, or even day to day, I can look back and see how many major illnesses I've convinced myself I have in the past 2 weeks & it makes it easier to convince myself that it's all in my mind!  I've also been able to see a pattern to some pains - e.g. headache immediately before I start bleeding (so probably linked to hormones, not a brain tumour), breast pain (ditto)

I also have a rule the health issue has to be a problem for 10 days before I go to the GP - inevitably, by the end of 10 days, I've moved on to a new illness!

Mine has one major constant theme ( my heart ) and then lots of other ones that rear up and I'm obsessed by them for a bit. I find it hard to remind myself that I've had them on and off for so long that it has to be anxiety but I am trying. I am finding that not buying in to a symptom does seem to lessen its impact, or reminding myself that a tight chest is also a sign that I've been holding my breath while typing on the iPad or is just from me tensing up with a hot flush. I used to do something like your ten day rule years ago when I first had panic attacks. My then GP was very popular, so I'd book an appointment for a few weeks hence and then cancel it if the symptom had gone. It seemed to help me refocus my attention away , knowing that if I needed to go, I'd already got an appointment.

[Dorothy]

It must be so much harder to cope with if you always worry about the same health issue.  It sounds as if you are putting some good coping strategies in place though. 

I get regular chest pain, but I've had it since before I started peri so bizarrely, that's the symptom that bothers me least!  Mine has been put down to stress, which can make the muscle over the heart cramp.  I've found deep breathing, rubbing the breastbone and shoulder area and using a heatpad or slightly-warm hot water bottle on my chest help ease it. (Though the heatpad probably won't help if the pain has been brought on by the stress of a hot flush  )

[CLKD]

ILL! to the point of wanting to die.

I had my first panic attack aged 3, I became anorexic at age 5 and my parents were told I would 'grow out of it'.  Didn't!

Anxiety begins around the bottom R of my belly button with a tightness, which immediate induces nausea = weak thighs followed by weak calves and then the despair.  In a matter of less than 10 mins. i can be a blubbering wreck shaking uncontrollably.  Which is when I take an emergency tablet which eases all symptoms within 20-40 mins..  Then I pee, lots, every 10 mins.. 

Then I worry in case the anxiety makes me house bound as it did in the 1990s.  I didn't leave our house even to go to into the Garden for 3 months. 

Haven't read the other responses due to needing to 'get on' …… you are NOT alone!

[coldethyl]

Thank you both. Not coping well today - had bad night with hot flushes which make my heart do funny things - been awake every 20 minutes so felt like rubbish when I woke up then my mum phoned to say my grandad had died during early hours. Hubby trying to talk to a GP for me as I can cope with the anxiety or the menopause but not both at the minute. I wanted to go and see my grandad yesterday but was scared that the anxiety would kick in so I didn't. Now I have to live with that failure.

[babyjane]

  coldethyl I am so very sorry to hear about your grandad. That will be a very real grief that you will need to bear, along with your feelings of guilt over not seeing him. 

There is no need to feel guilty and grandad would probably not want you to feel this way, but you will anyway as it is part of the grieving process.  Please let us support you if you would like us to x

[coldethyl]

coldethyl I am so very sorry to hear about your grandad. That will be a very real grief that you will need to bear, along with your feelings of guilt over not seeing him. 

There is no need to feel guilty and grandad would probably not want you to feel this way, but you will anyway as it is part of the grieving process.  Please let us support you if you would like us to x

Thank you so much. Everyone here is so lovely. You are right- my grandad wouldn't ever want me to be sad - it just feels like someone has dealt me all the rubbish cards at the minute at a time when I feel least able to cope. X

[CLKD]

Guilt can be destroying.  Because we can't alter what was happening and the result of not going - now that Grandad has died you don't have to visit so that option no longer causes anxiety.   

Anxiety is 'normal'.  It's the 'fight/flight' response left over from when we lived in The Cave.  Knowing that however doesn't help when the physicality of it all hits.  The number of 'experts' that advised me to 'remember how you feel on a good day, that will take over the anxiety feelings' ………..  now I would alter the shape of their face if they said anything similar to me 

Of course the next problem will be: go to the Service or not     -   when my friend died suddenly at the start of Dec. DH and I volunteered to sit at their house because I couldn't go ……. we sat reading, thinking about how the Service was progressing …… if that's how you cope don't let anyone else sway you to do different!  Sitting with the lights low, maybe light a candle, remembering can be done anywhere.

Some people find that blowing into a brown paper bag helps. Something to do with oxygen levels? but I've never been one to carry a brown paper bag with me.  Some find singing can regulate breathing …….

If you had something serious by now you would have had 'more' symptoms. 

[coldethyl]

I will go to the service. I'm mostly ok during day at minute. It's the nights without proper sleep that I'm struggling with. Spoke to GP who suggested upping my betablockers as necessary ( I only take 2x10mg ) to see if that helps with the palpitations and adrenaline.
I think you are right that you have to do whatever it is that you think you can cope with on any given day.
My grandad had a long and good life and I'm going to remember that when it hurts that he isn't here.

[Dorothy]

It's not about the 'final visit' anyway, but about all the other times you spent with the one who has gone.  Don't think about the one time when you weren't there, think about all the other times when you were, and all the memories you have from that.  That's what counts.  Hugs x

[coldethyl]

It's not about the 'final visit' anyway, but about all the other times you spent with the one who has gone.  Don't think about the one time when you weren't there, think about all the other times when you were, and all the memories you have from that.  That's what counts.  Hugs x

Thank you x

[CLKD]

That's a lovely thought Dorothy. 

I take 40mg BB at night and if necessary, add a tablet at breakfast occasionally.

[Justjules]

Having a bad day today - sat at work really anxious.  Haven't been sleeping for over a week now so think that's not helping.  Waking up anxious and worrying every little twinge in my chest is going to turn into a full blown heart attack.  Have just started on the AD this afternoon - decided couldn't cope with it this morning in case I felt bad at work but as I usually start to feel a bit better after lunch, have taken half a tablet and intend to go onto them very gradually if this is the route I have to take.

Went to meet a friend for a coffee at lunch time but was so anxious that my chest was hurting while I was talking to her and I couldn't enjoy it so it felt like a bit of a panic attack and I was glad to get back to the office.  This is ridiculous.  I keep looking out the car window on the journey to and from and see people walking along briskly and it makes me feel ill just watching them do it and I even passed an elderly woman power walking last night - it makes me so depressed that I can't do that....how do people do it???  I hope these tablets work - I'm at the end of my tether with myself.  I just want to get home so I can have a cry.

[limpy]

JJ does exercise affect the pain you get, i.e. does it bring the pain on, or does it alleviate things?
What OH found when chest pain happened was that exercise actually helped to stop it.
Perhaps a gentle walk might help next time it happens to you?