I have noticed more and more recently that I obsess and worry about everything much more than i used too. I'm not just talking health wise but about my children, work and problem that comes up seems insurmountable. Since becoming peri I've had some nasty bouts of anxiety but this is more like over thinking and obsessing.
We found out a few months ago that my teenage daughter is cutting her arms with the stress from school. I can't relax at all , always wondering when she will do it again and if she'll go too far. Also she is in the process of splitting with her boyfriend of 15 months (they're having a break) and I am ridiculously upset about it. He had become a big part of our family, came on holiday with us, joined us for days out etc and I feel so upset. My eldest boy has finished his A levels and seems to have no direction in his life. Work feels like such an effort, shopping, cooking all seems like wading through treacle. My mind races constantly then i feel exhausted and want to sleep.
I don't know what the answer is, does anyone else feel like this??
jedigirl
Hi Jedigirl
I'm really sorry to hear that you are having such difficulties at the moment.
I am so sorry to hear your daughter is cutting her arms.
I've always bitten mine when I get angry, as take my anger out on myself, and it has got worse after peri.
I remember the anxiety hitting me and it's never been the same since.
The best thing that you can do for your daughter is to just be with her and allow her to cry.
I remember getting a whalloping across the head from my Dad at 8yrs old because I bit my arm in a temper. From then on, I would always hide any marks on my arm from them, it was easier when I left home, as I sometimes punch my face and give me bruises, so I would just make excuses why I could not visit my parents until the bruising went down.
When I lived with them, I would bruise my head where it was hidden by hair.
They don't know that i still self harm but my Dad died last year, so he will never know.
My parents came from the era where phrases like "Straighten your face" "Stop moaning/whinging" were how upset children were dealt with.
My self harm definitely increased in peri, and I used to wake up with a hot and sweaty upper body, wet neck, etc, and I used to wake up suddenly with butterflies in my stomach, it would feel like I was on a roller coaster, and a feeling of dread.
Everything seems a problem, but I was doing CBT at the time which helped, because I could sort out, what really was a problem, from the things that weren't, ie, I was viewing them incorrectly, in a negative light, or the problem could be sorted.
The CBT helped lessen the obsessive things.
I was always prone to obsessing and fixating, as I have suspected ADHD, just waiting for a psychiatrist to confirm the diagnosis.
My hrt helped a lot with anxiety, and the only anxiety that I have left remaining are the personal problems that I cannot do anything about, and thinking about them results my thoughts going round in circles.
CBT helped me to feel that it was ok, not to think about these problems, unless some new factor came along in life, which changed the problem and warranted a re-think.
Your young son may be tired after his A-levels, and I know you are not specifically asking for advice, but if I was 18, and directionless, like I was back then, I would try to spend as much time as I could in doing something that I enjoyed, because when you are young, you can concentrate on your talents and become good at them, and happy in the work that you do.
When I was 18, just earning money was my goal, so I got a series of unsuitable jobs.
The important thing about work, is to enjoy what you do, not money, because it's easy to get stuck in a job that pays, but to be bored and miserable and feel trapped.
I would have gone to art college, if I was 18, as I enjoyed and was good at it, and would probably have a career in it.
Terence McKenna said if you don't have a plan, you become part of someone else's and this is what happened to me.
I only realised my art talent decades later, I knew I was ok at it, but an artist ex-boyfriend, plus the right tutor at art night school, and a book by Betty Edwards brought out my talent.
So, ask your boy what he enjoys, if it's football, let him play football and best of luck.
I find housework difficult and overwhelming. I have some unsolvable problems with my flat and housework does feel exhausting so I only do bits at a time. I try not to have clutter, do little bits at a time, and don't refuse offer of help from your kids, or maybe give them a little wage if they can help round the house.
It took me a while to get the right hrt.
The first time I went, and returned after it not working, my doctor was very curt and brusque about it, so I increased the dose to femoston sequi 2/10 and for a whole year, becauase I was so downhearted with it all, I did nothing, as I couldnt face battling the doctors to get what I wanted.
I had got IBS from peri, and the tablets were just going straight through me.
One GP didn't want to give me patches as I have migraine auras.
I started on evorel 50 and utrogestan, on a private prescription.
I obtained some emails from Dr Currie to explain that I could have what I wanted, and only one of the GP's would read the emails, and she continued me on evorel 50.
After trying three months on it, I went back, as I was still anxious, depressed, flushing, but the IBS was a little bit better.
After another three month trial on 75, which was a little better, the nice GP was happy to prescribe me evorel 100, and things are a lot better.
