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Author Topic: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?  (Read 12403 times)

andius

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Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« on: September 18, 2015, 03:26:23 AM »


Has anybody retired?  You know...gone through the decision making process, finally decided to do it and then gone through with it?

What is the adjustment period like and what are your retirement days like?

I have been really contemplating this.

Andius
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Rebelyell

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2015, 10:32:29 AM »

I took semi-retirement two years ago from a busy teaching career.   I can't pretend I took to it like a duck to water, and it actually took around a year before I settled into a routine and decided where I wanted my life to go.   For me, full retirement was just too much of a shock - having devoted myself to career and children I found I had nothing much to do.   I sank into deep depression/health anxiety but not sure whether this was retirement or menopause based.   To solve this and distract myself I started various part-time work projects [I am lucky in that I had contacts/options for this] and then became more busy than I had been before...   This then led to more stress, which for the first time in my life I actually couldn't handle, and I took a step back and a long look at my life.

I have decided to continue working part-time, but not take on anything I feel will lead to stress.   This took some time to accept as I used to be a driven and thrived on stress - but have had to accept I have changed, and therefore my goals must change.

My OH is also semi-retired so as far as days go, they vary but we have started to enjoy spending time together - walking the dog, shopping, just walking, watching TV, reading, and most importantly - holidaying. 

This is a rambling, all about me post!  But what I am saying is, think hard about whether you are good at having no routine and no 'calling' outside the home.  I found not being 'valuable' very difficult but didn't realise this was my issue for a while.  Now that I have, I am slowly learning to take things far slower.   If you have hobbies/friends to spend time with, then it might be far easier.  All my friends work, and my hobby is reading, so I am quite solitary - and it does get lonely without the day-to-day contact with the same people.  Life goes on for those you leave behind at work, and it is easy to feel left
out.
So - advice -
1.  think about what you are really like.  Can you cope with no routine, lack of day-to-day contact with people?
2.  how will you pass the time?  without hobbies/people it is difficult to fill the time.  Housework isn't fun and shouldn't last all day...!
3.  Remember, depression/anxiety etc loves a vacuum, I am great when busy, bad when given time to think
4.   can you afford to do all the things you want to do when you have the time? 

Good luck, let me know what you decide.  I do know some people who just love retirement!   They tend to fall into two camps, those who have masses of hobbies and those who just like lying by a pool on holiday and quite like just relaxing.
 

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Joyce

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2015, 10:44:25 AM »

I gave up working 6 years ago. I'd been very stressed at work & my first grandchild was a good excuse to leave. Daughter & partner were struggling financially with childcare costs. I was able to go down to theirs when needed. They then moved to England from Scotland. I was at a bit of a loss, but then realised I was free to visit them there whenever I wanted without the restrictions of only having 4 weeks annual leave.

I was lucky as we were able to afford it. That is a big consideration when making your decision.
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bramble

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2015, 11:51:55 AM »

I retired early. My work had changed and I was not happy. Up until then my work had been my life. I lived on savings for two years and then my pension kicked in. When I stopped work I went from full on stress filled days to empty days. I was fine. I never looked back and never missed work. The only problem I had was that it took a while to realise that I had always hidden behind my work persona - took a while to find me and come to terms with the new me.
You will find things to fill your day quite easily. There are lots of benefits.
good luck.

Bramble
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Ju Ju

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2015, 12:53:53 PM »

As Bramble has said it is easy to feel defined by your job, particularly if it is one that gives you perceived status, but your job is not who you really are.

 It can take time to adjust and unwind. My DH retired from a particularly stressful career and it took at least a year before he ventured into new fields. We did travel for 6 months, very cheaply, camping in NZ and OZ, (up till then and after non campers). I watched his hair grow and his shoulders relax gradually through this time. He and his ex-colleagues found they were initially vulnerable to illness, mostly minor stuff. For some, it's a physical adjustment as well as emotional. Retirement for DH and me was a relief, though for me necessary early as I had health issues.

Obviously the financial implications have to be looked at. DH got his full pension and me a tiny one. Less money to live on, but in many respects, lower outgoings.

The best thing about retirement is that you have time to do all the things you never had time to do before! For me that meant taking singing lessons, joining a choir, making new friends, taking part in amateur dramatics and being able to help my daughter with child care. As my father said, you start wondering how you ever had time to work!
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getting_old

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2015, 02:16:09 PM »

I retired by accident and circumstances so no planning involved at all. Just after I stopped work we moved so that gave me a lot to do, then I found myself with quite a bit of time on my hands, however walking the dog, taking up some new hobbies, and looking after DH (still working) has helped me avoid the housework  :P
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babyjane

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2015, 04:18:46 PM »

Yes I have and so has my husband.  The last 2 years have been quite hard as I find the constant company and loss of my own space difficult.  We are still adjusting.
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CLKD

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2015, 06:24:51 PM »

Find a Financial Advisor and get your monetary affairs sorted.  DH went through what we spend annually around the house, on holidays, filling up the car and maintenance: put the figures in front of our FA and he agreed, made suggestions for saving/investing and now [4+ years later] we have a very busy Life. 

I was already working from home which cut out travelling for me.  After 18 months I stopped what I had done so that we can go out and about when we want to.  We have always had hobbies, now we have time to do more of them!
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groundhog

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2015, 09:03:01 PM »

I was forcibly retired after 23 years owing to illness.  I loved my job and was devastated.  Three weeks later my mother had brain haemorrhage and became severely disabled in a hospital 80 miles away.  So I went from a stressful job I loved to a stressful life I struggled with.  Plus the loss of identity and routine.  However I have adapted and now feel it was the right decision and I am making new friends and carving out a different life.
Best wishes with whatever you decide,  it really does depend on your circumstances.  Because I have been ill again,  I can quite happily stay at home all day,  pottering watching TV or reading.  If I was perfectly fit and healthy I would be bored but would then find other things to do.  My husband is self employed and finds being at home boring.  Horses for courses as they say x
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andius

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2015, 02:49:09 PM »

Sincere thanks to everyone who responded!!!   ;)

I think financially we will be ok.  Hubby still plans to continue working for a few years. The financial advisor says it will work. All college costs paid for.

First grandchild (in same town) to be born in early Feb.  Last child (daughter) getting married in May after finishing school and the money is already budgeted for both. I will have those 2 things to keep me busy right away.

I remember taking a leave of absence from this job for 3 mo when my son was a teenager and giving us a lot of trouble about 15 years ago.  I was relieved at first, then fairly busy.  When I had to go back to work, I was depressed for a few weeks before and several months after until I adjusted. I think it will be difficult to completely give up the "work persona", but I feel that I would like to get out of this strait jacket, so to speak.  I feel I don't really know who "me" is since I have been working in this stressful job for at least 3 decades. I am starting to feel like I don't care if I do a good job at work or not....is that a clue???

My work situation changed in May and I am now required to drive to a different work location on most days of the week and work at least 1 10 hour day each week. There is a lot more of dealing with travel time and traffic than before.  I also have to be at work earlier than before, which has turned my daily routine around and I just can't seem to adjust at my age. I do have trouble sleeping and am totally exhausted by friday each week.  I am constantly aggravated by being in a different place every day with different people and can't seem to find a balance anywhere. I have not had a raise in 5 years. I agreed with myself to try this new situation out, but it has been 4 mo and I am still not liking it.  Old situation abolished, so no chance of going back to it.  I don't want to learn anything new.

I like being by myself without my husband around.  I think that will help me adjust until he does retire, which may then be a whole new issue. He seems to suck the life out of my plans and I can't seem to get anything done on my to do list when he is in the house.  LOL!!
He has a way of making everything about him, but not in a demanding way....hard to describe.

My father also says he thinks I will wonder how I ever had time to work, as that is how he felt. He retired early and lived off savings for 3 years until he could get pension money and my mom never worked.  All my kids are long out of the house.  I wonder even now how I ever had the time to work full time and raise 3 kids when I look back on my life. These days it seems like I use weekends and evenings just to recover from work hours and don't feel like lifting a finger to do anything. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, even to the grocery store.

Still....it is hard to pull that trigger and give up the work responsibilities and of course, the salary $ and benefits. When I think too hard about it, it makes me emotional.  Is that crazy?? :-\

Andius
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dazned

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2015, 02:54:48 PM »

I took early retirement last year but stayed on as bank relief manager,so in reality zero hours contract which suits me and my employers as they only pay if they need me and if it doesn't suit me to work on a particular day I can say no ,win win  ::)
I'm so glad I was able to be in a position to do this especially with all this meno rubbish !
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lesh1

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2015, 03:18:11 PM »

Earlier this year I left my full time stressful manager position for a part time 3 day a week job. The difference it has made has been unbelievable with me now have the life/ work balance which I was looking for. If you can afford too I'd say go for it...
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CLKD

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2015, 03:49:20 PM »

If your FA has looked at your money in/outs, expenses, what you will need annually and has given it the OK then go for it!  We have an Annual Review with our FA and we now have more in the 'pot' then when we retired due to good investments  ;)
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CLKD

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2015, 03:49:41 PM »

 :thankyou:  Lesh1 and welcome  :)
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CLKD

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Re: Anyone decided to retire and gone through with it?
« Reply #14 on: September 19, 2015, 04:27:29 PM »

Start your own thread, then you won't get 'lost'  ;)
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