Hi Mrs January,
I haven't been on here for a while,but decided to have a look today,and saw your post about your precious son's anniversary. As you know,my son James did the same thing 16 months ago. I can't always visit his grave as I find it too upsetting, so I only go when I feel strong enough, my daughter was only able to go very recently on his birthday, as before then she couldn't face it, I don't see any point in forcing yourself to do things like that, until you want to. I still can't look at photos of James as it just upsets me too much, so I don't try to.
I cry very openly, as I find it very hard to hold It in sometimes, I feel that it is vital to let the tears flow, even though it feels horrible, and not to try to put a front on, my friends and family all understand what I am like, and often cry with me. I still however find it so so hard to deal with, and have some very low times, as do my hubby and 3 other children, but I feel very strongly that James is still around and helping us all to carry on.
It sounds as though you are very strong and doing really well, my friends too all say how marvellously I am coping, and I always tell them that it's only through their wonderful support ,that I am able to carry on.
Our precious boys will want us to carry on and be strong, but I know that sometimes it is so very hard to do so. We have to be kind to ourselves, and focus on the good things in our lives .
I hope that God sends us both the strength to be sustained during this heartbreaking journey, and will hold our boys, safe in his care,
Wishing you well,and please don't be afraid of crying,
Love and Hugs,
Magsxx
