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Author Topic: The Basis of Anxiety  (Read 12712 times)

dazned

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #30 on: March 23, 2015, 08:26:30 PM »

CLKD can so relate I'm not as bad as you ,bless you,but once those physical things start they just swamp you and its so overwhelming it's so hard to get them to subside,and if people have not been there you can't possibly describe it to them. Last week when I went to work one colleague asked how I was now and as was trying to explain I could see her eyes glaze over and she just said never mind you have your holidays soon that will sort you ! I so wanted to punch her  >:( I was waiting for "pull yourself together " at which point I might have just done so !  ;D
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CLKD

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #31 on: March 23, 2015, 08:27:47 PM »

Now that's a good question.  Yes.  My evening bath though when very depressed I was unable to sleep longer than 5.30 a.m. and could only get into the bath, sluice down and get out.  So my relaxation is a deep bubble bath, Very Good Book and a cuppa.

If I am feeling absolutely fine then I don't need to consciously seek relaxation.  Some situations that I would expect to cause anxiety levels to rise often don't  ???  :-\ ……… on the other hand I can be doing stuff and suddenly I'm running for home.   :'(

Hormones must be involved though not necessarily sexual hormones.  Adrenaline being the main one involved in the fight/flight response.  Even though I know what the brain's response is to danger/excitement, even though I know that I have never been ill in public, not found a loo; those physical feelings take over and become real because they are: real.  Despite my Mother telling me it's all in the mind  >:( - well yes it is but it's REAL  :bang:
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CLKD

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #32 on: March 23, 2015, 08:29:14 PM »

Yep you have your holiday to look forwards to but hey, that brings it's problems which 'they' don't understand  ::)   :beat:.  The worse thing anyone can do is ask how I am  ::) because then I have to decide: but I can be OK one moment then running the next and try explaining that to 'them' ……….
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dazned

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #33 on: March 23, 2015, 08:35:32 PM »

That really sucks ! To be that up and down must be terrible for you  :-\
But you here to tell the tale and give us your pearls of wisdom which Iam grateful for  ;)
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everyones mum

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #34 on: March 23, 2015, 08:37:16 PM »

If I am feeling absolutely fine then I don't need to consciously seek relaxation

Maybe relaxation on every day would help. Building some breathing relaxation into your day and practicing it for a few weeks may help. cbt for dummies is super for changing neg thoughts of 'I can't' What if ect ....
Its early days for me but my god I like how I feel at the moment. 4 weeks ago I was on the verge of agoraphobia (again)
Relaxation sounds too simple but if taken seriously and worked at it can be great
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honeybun

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #35 on: March 23, 2015, 08:38:26 PM »

When asked how I am I always just say fine thanks.

No one is really interested to be honest. There are two people who can read my face and don't have to ask, hubby and my daughter. My sister can tell by my voice on the phone. She always knows when I am struggling.

I just want people to think I am just the same as I always was.

No ones business but mine.


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CLKD

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #36 on: March 23, 2015, 08:44:31 PM »

 :thankyou:  …… Dazned

 :congrats: - Everyones Mum - tried the CBT, relaxation therapy - have the tapes.  It didn't work for me, the idea was to practice twice a day until the relaxation became automatic - no one told my autonomic nervous system though  :'(

Honeybun - I agree, nowt to do with anyone else  ;).  Some people however expect an answer …...
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honeybun

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #37 on: March 23, 2015, 08:54:56 PM »

They can expect what they like CLKD. The older I get the less what other people think concern me to be honest.

Guess we all just keep plodding along and making the very best of the good days/half days/hours.

I'm always fine in the evening. Everything done that had to be, slippers on, cup of tea to hand....bliss. Till it starts again in the morning.
I'm thinking of trying a beta blocker at night to see if that helps with the early morning wobbles.


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CLKD

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #38 on: March 23, 2015, 08:58:49 PM »

It certainly helps mine!  40mg Propranolol at 9.00 p.m. with my AD.  Stops that surge on waking!
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Suzi Q

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #39 on: March 26, 2015, 11:48:05 AM »

I take Lexoton 6mg yesterday and today I had to take a Beta a feeling of utter fear came over me slowly last week
Mine goes back t childhood as Ive said before we all have a story mine was a battered child  by a mental MUM
Not her fault 10 in 1939 her Mum had died the pre January of pancreatic cancer the only 1 so far in 3 generations
So her 56 yr old Dad was left with Mum 9 and son 7 and 2 other daughters 17 and 16 at the outbreak of war 1939
2 older daughters joined the Wrens by Jan 1940 he had 2 children and he was a river Captain Pilot on the Mersey
Bringing the Convoys so Mum and her brother were evacuated Mum was sex abused, She was removed
Taken to her MUMS sisters farm in Ynos Mon (Anglsea) with her brother. She never recovered
She had manic depression sever personality disorder uncontrollable rages and became addicted to Tranx then
I suffered as a child from Urticuria google it it will make u sick all nerves and stress at 5 to 15 when I left home.
It wasnt till my late 20s that i developed utter sadness and heart skipping Thats the 1st time I had Betas
It stopped the feeling of utter terror. It went off for years then came back out of the blue on and off before meno
And after meno like now Post meno for 20 years yet I still tale Lexoton and when needed Betas like this week.
If we knew what caused it@could end it Pharmacuts be out of buisness I did recog therapy for 3yrs once a mnth
Best thing I ever did cos it released all the pent up hurt and pain as a child but nothing can change it thats life!
So sometimes like this week it comes back OK I say Dad died 11 weeks tomorrow I spent from NYE till 29th Jan
In Wallasey UK flying from Ozz getting us 1000s of dollars in debt. Flying on the 8th to UK for 5 days Venice Paris and Rome till 30th April. I dont really want to go Im still in 1st greiving mode and planes dropping out of the sky kamakazi pilots and I HATE flying abso HATE it with a PASSION Dads house is being sold solicitors bla
The ABSO last thing I want to do is leave MY home at the moment I dont want to go anywhere never mind
3 weeks in UK@EU hotel to hotel Im not in he right frame of mind plus the weathers not looking good
It was all paid for even the day trips last Sept and it seem a death 3mnths earlier isnt classified as insurance cancellation So off we go when its the last thing I want so am I surprised Ive got the fear back not really
Dad died  entire thing was a nightmare YET I coped 100% in fact somedays forgot to take Lexoton Life hey? x
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CLKD

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #40 on: March 26, 2015, 12:19:47 PM »

SuziQ - you were running on adrenaline.  Now reality has kicked in and of course it seems and is a HUGE way - to leave your home in Oz when you could chill ……… be yourself and do what you need to.  You know that once you get over here you will be OK, it's the intermediate bit - flying.  Sad that the plane appeared to have dropped out of the sky but don't read the News, it's all speculation …….. Life sucks. 

What does Bobbles think?  If you feel that you can't travel between Hotels once you arrive then stay put.  Rest.  Let the Hotel Staff take over i.e. food, washing up, laundry  ;)

Take the BetaBlocka for at least 5 days ……… give yourself a break.   :bighug:
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Suzi Q

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #41 on: March 26, 2015, 01:10:50 PM »

Hi Clkd
Im trying really I am Ive got my grandson this weekend and as much as i love him the last thing I wanted
Not just the day etc its from Sat lunch till Sun afternoon/ Hes running around now and we havent got the house
Up and running no gates etc got the cot highchair pram and a few toys we bought them for our place
But son and dinlaw asked 5 weeks ago as it was her bday sons taking her away to a nice hotel overnight etc
I adore my grandson but its hard work and I need to as u say chill. He doesnt sleep just like his Daddy didnt
Bobbles will be as useless as a chocky teapot BUT I cant let them down they need this break,
Her parents refuse to babysit other than a couple of hours so they can play Trivia. Or so they can have a meal
But they always go to sons and dinlaws house to b/sit and they only live 5mins away we live 40mins away?
Not going HOME for the 5 days in UK landing in London spending 5 nights in Winchester@Stratford up on Avon
Then on to Europe for 15nights I couldnt face it. We canncelled the trip for 2 weeks later and rebooked the plane
To land in London not Manchester. We were spending nearly 3 weeks in UK but now Dads gone? And its not fair to the family we just mooched on them for a month starting the supposed happiest night NYE we arrived 10am
Didnt exactly help they cancelled the NYE party etc were there for us in everyway accomodation food time/
Bobbles told me tonight hes booked a smoking room in Dubai we are stopping the night so no jet lag no time!
IM sure I will enjoy it when we get there weve bookd in to all the same hotels in Europe we did in 2010
Gosh remember that our trip we had t can the day before cos of the Voilcano?That was booked for April 10
We ended up going Sept 10 talk about History repeating it self. Cos of the delay from last Sept to April
Gave me time to buy some lovely clothes in Outlet places so I will be very well dressed@Bobbles too.
I keep thinking he NEEDS this we NEED this IM finding since Dad I want to be with JUST Bobbles@its not healthy
So 2 weeks now I will be shopping in Primark in SWinchester then off on a Midsummer Tour we found Causton
Its a lovely Market town about 15mins from Jane Austens house and in Stratford Im going to the Theatre !
Both places weve stayed at before same hotels ONE dead posh a country manor the other a B@B both lovely
thanks for your advice love Suzanne xxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS as for washing in Paris which is the last leg Ive found A Lauderette in Rome and Venice hotel can do it hehe
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CLKD

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #42 on: March 26, 2015, 06:23:04 PM »

It's the thought that suddenly this trip is so close  :o ……….

I'm sure that one the Grandson arrives you will be OK - Calpol to hand  ;) ……… Dubai that sounds a long way from here  ::) but Stratford on Avon isn't  ;)

What you going to see at the Royal?
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GypsyRoseLee

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #43 on: April 11, 2015, 05:09:28 PM »

Looking back I first remember a spell of feeling dread/anxiety at bedtimes when I was about 9? Terrifying at the time. But it went away. Then in my early teens my parents temporarily split and my Mum went to pieces. She lent on me far too much for emotional support. Again I found this terrifying and the feelings of dread/anxiety came back. But again they went away. I never got nervous at exams. Or my driving test. I was always very outgoing to the point of being audacious sometimes  ;D During my teens and twenties I suffered with classic PMS e.g. irritability/tearful/feeling fed up. But never any anxiety. Between times I was perfectly happy and confident.

It was only after I had my first baby and had PND that I experienced true anxiety. This manifested as full blown terror. Terror at being left alone with my baby. I was terrified of my own baby! Terror that I was trapped with them for at least the next 18 years. The terror was irrational. I firmly believed that my baby would stay a baby for years and years and would never gain any independence from me.

Gradually it faded away. But it took a couple of years. Then I was absolutely fine for years and years. Among my family and friends I am known as the confident, strong, capable, bolshie one  8)

Then the recession hit. My husband is self employed and ever since we have suffered huge financial worries. Somehow we have always scraped by, but it has been very, very hand to mouth some months. But I soldiered through each month. Just kept stomping on and on. But in the end I think the constant worry finally eroded away my emotional armour at just the same time as my hormones decided to start packing up to leave. Really bad timing. Especially as for the first time since I've known him, my husband was suffering with low mood and was very withdrawn due to cumulative work stress/money worries.

I think I could have weathered the financial worries. I think I could have weathered my hormones packing up to leave. I think I could have weathered my husband's months and months of low mood and withdrawl. But I couldn't handle all three at once. I don't think anyone could?

The bricks in my emotional defences started to crack, and once it started it happened very quickly. Within a couple of weeks I went from being 'normal' me to suffering huge waves of crippling anxiety. Feelings of doom & despair. Insomnia. The irrational terrors I had experienced with PND were back. Terrified of being left alone. Terrified of going anywhere new. Terrified of it getting dark outside.

Logically, I think I would always have struggled with mood swings during peri menopause. All the literature and my consultant pointed out the connection between PMS/PND and peri issues.

But would I have suffered so much if we had had financial comfort and stability and if my husband had been his usual positive, gung-ho self? No, I really don't think I would. 
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Amandajane46

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Re: The Basis of Anxiety
« Reply #44 on: April 11, 2015, 06:28:24 PM »

I never suffered anxiety or depression before peri menopause I was always calm n laid back until this menopause nightmare I never even knew what menopause consist of or anything about it 😡
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???? You have to live it to understand it ????
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