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[Dulciana]

Sometimes in my day-to-day dealings with people, my self-confidence can take a sudden knock for the slightest (and sometimes imagined) reason, and plummet right down.   Has anyone else got any experience of this?   

[toffeecushion]

Sometimes in my day-to-day dealings with people, my self-confidence can take a sudden knock for the slightest (and sometimes imagined) reason, and plummet right down.   Has anyone else got any experience of this?

I know what you mean.  I also sometimes get upset and offended when someone says something to me even if they don't mean it that way, I tend to be very sensitive and react differently to how I used to.

[Limpy]

Dulciana - I know exactly what you mean.
However, I do overthink things out of all proportion.

[babyjane]

I too over react at times and take things out of context and think people are meaning something quite different.

If someone disagrees I can take it personally and then get worried I have upset them. 

Why are we like this? Does oestrogen give us self confidence that then dwindles as the oestrogen dwindles?

[Dulciana]

Why are we like this? Does oestrogen give us self confidence that then dwindles as the oestrogen dwindles?

Gosh, you may have hit the nail on the head, babyjane..............!  It's good to know I'm not alone in this, but Limpy and toffeecushion, you have my sympathies too.  Doesn't it cause a rocky ride sometimes??   

[Joyce]

Guilty as charged. I don't see it, but hubby sees it in me.

[Limpy]

"It's good to know I'm not alone in this, but Limpy and toffeecushion, you have my sympathies too.  Doesn't it cause a rocky ride sometimes??"

Yes it does - especially when I get a bit too assertive when lacking confidence - I get stroppy when it's not needed.

[Ju Ju]

I don't know if hormones make a difference, but confidence was something that I battled with all my life. I believe it had something to do with the message I learnt as a child, that I wasn't that bright ( learning to read was an uphill struggle ) and I failed the 11 plus. My sister was a high achiever and I got the impression I was a disappointment. Mum still comes out with the statement ' one wouldn't have believed you could have done.......' Maybe the next time I shall challenge her if she says that. It has taken till just the last few years to accept that there is nothing wrong with me and that I am ok. But I still have moments of low confidence and I avoid confrontation if I can.

[CLKD]

When menstruating regularly there was a bright yellow dress which I could only wear when I had enough confidence ……..  I loved that dress on my 'good' days.  Even though it was slightly clingy material ……

Hormonal then?

[Dulciana]

I get a bit too assertive when lacking confidence - I get stroppy when it's not needed.

Me too, Limpy!

[honeybun]

It's families comments that I take to heart and they are the ones with the ability to hurt me.
I can dwell for days over a comment and get very upset.

As for anyone else. They can take me as they find me because I won't dance to anyone else's tune now. I simply don't care enough.

We are as we are ladies and at our age it's what we think of ourselves that really counts.


Honeyb
x

[Rowan]

One way to help with self confidence is "Self Confidence Courses" I have been on a few, you will be surprised how helpful they are.

You can inquire in your area or even sign up for an online course (google)

I hated "role playing" at first but eventually got the hang of it, you soon lose your shyness and gain an awful lot of confidence and self assurance.

[CLKD]

I could never 'role play'  .......... there are a couple of men friends that make me a bit tongue tied, both younger but I haven't yet worked out why  ......... otherwise I am fairly comfortable in my skin these days .........

[babyjane]

Ju Ju I also failed the 11 plus and my mother let me know it would take her a long time to get over it. I knew I had not only failed the 11 plus but failed her, let her down, disappointed her. I think subconsciously I spent the rest of her life trying to atone for that heinous crime    You are ok as you are, as am I, but I am only just coming to realise this from interacting in threads on this forum would you believe 

Recently my husband received the following slogan,( in a fortune cookie would you believe!) and we both found it profoundly applicable to both of us.  It said:

'Character is knowing what you are, not what other think you are or should be'.

[CLKD]

   I likes that I does  .........