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[rebecca]

I have noticed that in the evening after work my husband sits in front of the computer and watches videos that he has downloaded.
He then goes to bed and reads his kindle. When we are out shopping he will sit in a coffee shop and use his Apple Ipad and when he is not doing any of these he is reading the BBC website news on his phone or checking his emails...

These gadgets can be handy when used minimally but I think they can be a great conversation killer.....
I am beginning to find them quite annoying, when I bought this to his attention in a coffee shop the other day he said ... 'right let's go' and stormed out the shop 

Maybe it is a case of - if you can't beat them, join them........ I'm not sure what the answer is really....
Anyone else find these bl**dy things annoying?

Rebecca

   

[Joyce]

It's phones on tables during a meal which really hacks me off! I think if out for meal, coffee or any other social activity they should be kept in pockets or bags & only used if completely necessary. What's the point in meeting for coffee or whatever, then spending your time texting etc.

[Rowan]

I would join him Rebecca, men like to talk about tech stuff.

OH and I share a love of PC, ipads, smart phone we each have one and I love my kindle, I sometimes know more then him and sometimes he solves a problem for me. It is something to talk about and I like going round PC World with him.

I don't share his love of football  or sport  he can have that all to himself 

Men don't like small talk much but get them talking about what interests them and you get them on your side.

[Judith57]

Hi Rebecca, that would drive me mad I'm afraid. I look around me on the train to and from work and EVERYONE is on some kind of device. When I go out for a meal with my partner and his son, his son spends the whole meal on his i-phone checking football scores, checking out girls on Tinder (or whatever it is called) etc. etc. It drives us mad. Strangely enough he had his phone stolen in Thailand and he was without one for a few weeks and he was remarking how good it felt not to be constantly on his phone but now he is back to his old ways. I am forever getting bumped into on the streets of London by people using their phone as a navigational tool and not looking where they are going. Nobody ever seems to take in their surroundings anymore. I marvel at the view of the River Thames towards St Paul's on a beautiful morning as the train pulls into Charing Cross but everyone else has their eyes down watching re-runs of Friends or something similar 

[rebecca]

Judith 57 - Yes it IS driving me mad too!
Without sounding a spoil sport I am getting quite aggressive now when people bump into me in the street on their not looking where they are going. Mothers (and fathers) sitting in coffee shops letting their kids scream as they are bored when they are on the mobile! One women gave her baby one of her phones to play with while she was on the phone the other day  and the baby threw it on the floor    (best place for it really!)
Other people shouting loudly on their phones in public - Quite annoying....
Are we any better of in society as a result of using these things?  Jury is out for me!  Rant over ... Maybe that is how life is now..
Rebecca

[Hurdity]

There is nothing wrong with the devices in themselves as you say - it's how they are being used!

So - there is no excuse for using them soely to interact with by yourself when you are supposed to be somewhere with other people ie interacting socially. So the kindle in bed is fine - it's just a modern equivalent of a book - I still read actual paper books, but Kindles have their place, and if you're reading in bed that is not a social activity anyway.

As for the coffee shop though - I agree that is toally anti-social if you are (supposed to be) enjoying a coffee with your husband. Watching videos - are they full-length films? Ideally this should also be a social activity - that you would watch something together. However there will be films you're not interested in (I know my husband watches obscure programmes on Quest that bore me!) so fair enough some of the time.

Perhaps you can suggest that you watch the news together or watch other programmes or films together? Maybe he doesn't have many interests so is using the tech stuff to fill the time - and it is an incredible time-waster - checking e-mails, catching up with news as it happens, Facebook, forums  etc! Mind you it is the darkest time of the year so people are probably doing this sort of thing more now....

Perhaps time for a friendly conversation - if it is making you feel excluded?

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

Well - I have always told DH that I AM THE MOST IMPORTANT THING in his Life  or else.

I did find myself checking my mobile/texting when we were out a few times this year so have made a point of turning it off whislt we are 2-gether. He doesn't send texts and the point of being out and about is togetherness 

We both use the lap-top ……. not at the same time  : in our lounge.  DH watches fishing programmes on it; I do games; we both check e-mails/forums; we also use the lap-top BBCiplayer for programmes we can't get on main TV i.e. motoGP    …….

We have an aMac upstairs which we both use …….

Your DH probably stormed out because there is a certain amount of 'right' in your comment  ……. so maybe approach the situation before you go somewhere 2-gether.

As for those walking along using their phones: a few weeks ago, when she stopped in front of me not looking up, I took a phone out of a ladies hand, "this is how easy it would be for your mobile to be nicked, never to be seen again" ……. handing it back.  She never flinched! but it is common around here for lads on cycles to snatch bags/mobiles/etc.. : caught on CCTV but not followed up, the Police have enough to do. 

I stood in front of a woman last week and she walked right up to me as she sent a text message   â€¦â€¦â€¦  she was completely oblivious of people around her.  "is your message so important that means you plan to walk into the road/me/others?"  not a flicker!  I no longer stand aside  as I love to see any reaction to when I appear in front of them ……… very often there is no reaction at all because they are so engrossed.

I have been known to lean into open car windows and advise people in queues to put down their mobiles ….. "do you want to be responsible for killing someone?" …….

[Rowan]

OH and I always have plenty to talk about when we eat out and in coffee shops, I would not mind if he got his phone out or talked about a problem he was having with it. There is always lots to learn about your devices if you are technically minded. My brothers, nieces and nephews and grand kids are all impressed that we know so much and consider us cool.

Neither of us has ever texted or answered the phone while we were at the table. what others do is their own concern,

I often take pics and uploaded to facebook if I think "friends" or family will be interested where we have been.

I still say that showing an interest if a partner likes his devises will get more results then getting angry. I have seen numerous couple when out, not talking at all when having a meal and looking miserable, or the guy shows more interest in other women then his partner, that to me is far worse.