It's a difficult one!
I decided to stop my HRT after being on it with no problems for 4 years because I really wanted to see if my periods had stopped, and if I could manage without.
Almost immediately I started with terrible headaches, withdrawal from the hormones I suppose, but then the flushes returned far worse than ever, up to 6 a night really soaked each time.
Like Karin suggested I tried starflower which did help but I think it was the wrong time for me as there was a lot going on at work and it's been quite a stressful time anyway. I've not been sleeping well either, although no periods!!
Now I'm back on a conti hrt and actually feel tonnes better than before. Suddenly I feel really happy and positive about things like I did years ago. I hadn't ever felt unhappy I suppose just a bit flat and more 'can't be bothered'
The only thing I'm struggling a bit with is not being able to drink wine or gin atm as it definitely aggravates the flushes and not sleeping and also I've noticed that I'm bloated by the end of the day, but hoping that will improve, especially since it'll soon be Christmas!
Someone also suggested paracetamol before bed which definately helps and also I've discovered Ovaltine is good too......just need a hairnet and curlers and that completes the picture

It's not the end if you stop and things are no better you can always go back on it and like me maybe find something else that works a bit better...so far so good
Hope this helps, good luck!
Lizzy x