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[HorsesHorses]

Hello, I'm new on here and I'd really love to hear from anyone who can put my mind at rest and tell me I'm not going crazy. I feel like my body is falling apart and there's not much of me left that doesn't ache or hurt in some way.
I'm 36 years old and after going to see my doctor in April about hot flushes and night sweats, I was told I'm going through early menopause. (I've since had 2 hormone bloods tests to confirm it.) I'm feeling rather down in the dumps about it all though because I seem to be getting every symptom going! Currently, the worst symptoms are back ache, digestion problems (alternating bouts of diarrhea and constipation), bloating, heartburn and being very gassy. The hot flushes and sweats come and go and my periods are sometimes regular and then sometimes months apart. I also, get dizzy moments, feelings of nausea and headaches among other things. (I've had a recent scan of my ovaries and womb and all is ok there)
My kids are still primary school age and I work too so I'm feeling so tired and achy all the time from everything going on. The doctor said I could go on HRT if I wanted but there have been 2 female cancers in my family and I'd rather try and stay off any drugs if possible.
My doctor told me there shouldn't really be any pain with menopause but I'm not making these symptoms up and sometimes I feel so uncomfortable with all the aches and random abdominal pains. I wonder if they are linked to the extra gas I seem to have working its way around my body at the moment. Does anyone else out there suffer from constant burping and heartburn? I wouldn't mind so much but I don't even drink tea or coffee or any fizzy drinks, just hot and cold water.
I feel fed up and isolated with it all at the moment because, being 'young' there's no one I can talk to about it or anyone I know who's going through the same thing and every time I get used to one symptom or pain, another one comes along to throw me and I'm tired of feeling like a hypochondriac with the doctor.
Sorry to sound like such a moaner. I used to be bouncy and energetic and now I just feel achy and old. 

[babyjane]

You poor woman, you sound very isolated and badly in need of a cyber hug ((hug)).

No you aren't going crazy and I know there must be some ladies on this forum who are around your age with early menopause.

I am a lot older than you but the symptoms sound the same so I do sympathise, this meno lark seems to send your mind and body into free fall and no two women have exactly the same experience.

However I can't pretend to understand how it feels at your age with young children so I hope that someone will come along to support you with that.  Meanwhile browse round and don't be shy about joining in.  Everyone is very friendly and kind here 

[FlorayG]

My doctor told me there shouldn't really be any pain with menopause

Is your doctor either
a) young or
b) a bloke?
That's a ridiculous thing to say - I get aches and pains all over lately and I don't remember being pummelled by a baseball bat 

[Hurdity]

Hi HorsesHorses

  from me too.

Sorry to hear you are becoming menopausal at such a young age.

Having family members with famle cancers does not rule you out for HRT. How close were the family members and what was the cancer, if you don't mind my asking?

At your age if you possibly can I would take replacement oestrogen because it is important to take it at least until the natural average age of menopause (51-2) to help protect bones and heart and latest thinking is that those with early menopause are more likely to suffer long term health problems.

Taking bio-identical oestrogen ( estradriol - which most HRT types contain) and "natural" progesterone (Utrogestan) or something very close to it (eg Femoston) - is not like taking drugs - it is replacing what has become deficient in your body at an age when most women would still have it.

Also for your own sanity it sounds like you don't need to have all the health worries and stresses that come with menopause. If your doc is OK about HRT then really I would give it a try - it's usually the other way round - women wanting to try HRT and the docs being opposed to it!

My two youngest were 13 and 15 when I went onto HRT so much more manageable than primary school age!

Hurdity  x

[CLKD]

  I believe, in the back of my mind, that there is a group for ladies who have early menopause, Daisy something - you may find details in the menus, left of screen. 

Have a browse!  Then you can take info to your GP  - 'every day is a learning curve' !

[Briony]

HorsesHorses, I could have written your post! I am a bit older, 42, but suffer in a similar way to you. You can't believe how reassuring it is to know that I am not the only one with the gas problem. I burp so much, and it's not just gentle ones - they can be quite violent. If I don't burp, then I feel even more nauseous. I am sure it's linked to my hormones (rather than stomach issues) as I often get a migraine and acne at the same time, and it stops once I have come on (or a few days later). I don't get flushes, but do get the chills and fatigue, and they too are worse when my burping is bad. It's so weird, isn't it?

[Millykin]

Hi
Me too, I could have wrote this, I'm 44 and started peri meno 2 yrs ago, I first tried Elleste duet didn't get on so left alone for a while but started Femoston 1/10 in April and things have got a lot better. You really do need HRT at a young age you are only giving your body what it is not producing anymore. I understand your concern with family cancer but as Hurdity asked depends who in the family if not mum and her mum then you should be fine. As for your stomach symptoms these have started with me the past few months I'm getting tested for H pylori in few weeks so wait and see but it is horrible. Probably lack of hormones though ! I haven't had a bleed for 4 months and was offered higher dose of HRT but for now I'm happy on low dose as its stopping all other symptoms like you listed, anxiety still lurks a bit in background but not very often glad about that, my energy levels are back to normal and I'm functioning pretty normal these days compared to this time last year when I was a wreck. You should look into HRT and if possible give it a try,
X

[Hurdity]

Just to add if you have digestive problems then patch HRT would probably be preferred as tablet HRT can aggravate this.

Here is the info:

Indications for non-tablet route.

    Individual preference.
    Poor symptom control with tablet HRT.
    Side effects such as nausea with tablet.
    Bowel disorder which may affect absorption of tablet therapy.
    History of migraine (when steadier hormone levels which may be achieved with a patch may be beneficial).
    Lactose sensitivity (all tablet preparations of HRT contain lactose).
    History of gallstones.
    Current use of medications such as anti-epileptic medication which may interfere with the break-down of tablet HRT.
    Variable blood pressure.
    High triglyceride levels.
    Risk factors, family history or past history of deep vein thrombosis or pulmonary embolus, after full discussion and specialist advice when necessary.

http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/route.php

Hurdity x

[Millykin]

Funny you should say that Hurdity my stomach problems only started just after HRT started about 2 months, but I'm happy on Femoston so ... Can't win
Also you mention clot risk this concerned me as my daughter had one to kidney them few on lungs but they told me it was ok as I had taken pill for many years with no problem, I suppose that's true but still in back of mind
X

[Mrs January]

Hi there

I have a long, long history of female cancers in my family...I am one of the eldest left at 51!

I chose to take HRT for my quality of life and it has helped enormously

Take one day at a a time

Mrs January xxx

[dazedandconfused76]

Hi horses and welcome

I was 36 when I realised something was wrong - after clockwork & totally pain free (don't hate me!) periods all my life, I suddenly went 6 mths without a period. I had prem meno confirmed at 36 too. Since then I've had everything you mentioned plus a whole lot more! I had a few sporadic periods, which were v heavy. But now at 38, I've not had a period since April (& have a hunch I won't have any more).
I'm obviously gutted re fertility as so would've loved to give my wonderful daughter a sibling but apart from that, anxiety is my main bugbear now. I started an antidepressant 5 wks ago but unsure if I should try hrt too. My gp said it's my decision but recommended 2-3 yrs on it for me.
I know what u mean, we're in such a unique position to go thru it at this age, not a lot of ppl who 'get it' is there?!
Keep us posted on what you decide to do and best of luck xxx

[Hurdity]

dazedandconfused - you should definitely take HRT and not anti-depressants (unless you need them for other reason than hormones) if you are menopausal at your age unless there is a medical reason why you can't.

MM Facebook page 10th November

Menopause myths busted:

"Antidepressants are not recommended for first-line treatment of menopausal symptoms such as flushes and low mood, yet are often offered by some GPs. Some antidepressants can be used if HRT is unable to be taken for medical reasons, but only after full discussion and after ruling out the use of HRT."


Hurdity x

[dahliagirl]

If you are having trouble with diarrhoea and constipation and wind and burping, have you had these symptoms checked out too? Especially if it is pale, greasy, floating.  It may be problems with gallbladder/lack of enzymes, bile etc, rather than directly the meno, and changes in bowel habits should be looked at.

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and Welcome HorsesHorses
I am now 58 and my menopause started in my mid 30s. I was advised back then that it was extremely important I use HRT as our bodies are supposed to have oestrogen until we are at least 50. 
I'm afraid your doctor is not giving you the full picture and I feel you should be referred to a menopause clinic or gynaecologist to be given some more sound advice.  I do understand your fear of HRT - I'm afraid the press have had a field day over all the scares but as usual they haven't covered the benefits.
I would like to emphasise that HRT is not really a drug - if you use HRT you are simply replacing the hormones your body should be producing. Without HRT the long term problems for the bones and heart can be serious if you suffer early ovarian failure as you and I have.  Like you, I had young children when I was diagnosed peri meno and it was important I was in good form to be the mother I needed and wanted to be.  My mother had an early menopause as well and I remember her being so bad tempered and difficult we had to tip tie round her carefully - I certainly didn't want my kids to feel that way about me.
The breast cancer risk may be an issue but as Hurdity has said, how close are these relatives? What type of cancer was it? How old were they when they had the cancer?
If your relatives were sisters or your mother and they had breast cancer quite young (maybe in their 50s) then this may have to be taken into account.  I believe HRT brings a lower risk of bowel cancer and also ovarian cancer - I could have go this wrong but you can check about this.
In real terms the risk of breast cancer is very small and only applies if a women is taking HRT beyond 60. If you were to take HRT until you were 50 then you would probably be no more at risk of cancer that any other women not on HRT. If you don't use HRT then you will be at risk of developing early onset osteoporosis which can be crippling and also heart disease - so if HRT is not used you will need some advice about how you can support your body to prevent these problems. Like you I resisted HRT for a about a year after I was diagnosed but as the symptoms worsened I went back to the surgery and my GP was very relieved when I did decide to take it - she said to me "if I was her daughter she would be insisting I use HRT".
These days there are the bio identical HRT preparations which it is believed carries fewer side effects and risks generally. I used Oestrogel for most of my time on HRT.  I had Norethisterone for 10 days search month alongside this gel to bring a withdrawal bleed but these days Utrogestan is preferred as it is also bio identical.
I had a private appointment with a very eminent Gynaecologist just a couple of days ago to get his advice about how I should proceed from now(aged 58) into my 60s.  It was reassuring to here he thought I had been given very good advice and treatment until now. Despite using HRT I still developed Vaginal atrophy quite early which is a typical menopause symptom ( you really don't want to get this too young) and this will require local oestrogen treatment probably for the rest of my life.
Do read up all the info under the headings to the left of this page - there is also a website supporting women who experience premature menopause which is very good:
http://www.daisynetwork.org.uk
Do keep us posted   Dg xxx

[HorsesHorses]

Hello Everyone

Thank you so much for your replies. It made me feel much less alone and crazy reading your stories and opinions. The doctors give you this impression that you're making it all up and then you come on here and people understand you and don't judge you as a hypochondriac and moaner. Thank goodness for forums like this!
As you could probably tell, I've felt extremely anxious over the last few days and my temperature keeps changing again at times so I think I'm in some sort of cycle where the flushes and low mood swings are back. It's so hard to get a handle of because it keeps changing. I'm going to try and work out if there's pattern like yours Briony where the burping etc is worse at different times and linked to an increase in other symptoms. 
FlorayG, my gp, weirdly enough, is a female in her 40s. She's lovely and I've known her for a few years now but she doesn't seem to think menopause should be that big a deal for me yet. She thinks i'll fluctuate between being menopausal and then 'normal' and I shouldn't let it get me down. Annoyingly so though when I mention a symptom, I feel I really have to push to get it checked out. I have however been referred to have my lower bowel checked but that's because of a family history of polyps. Without that she did say she would have probably gone down the IBS route. So far nothing is being done about the gas and burping I mentioned to her though so I guess i'll monitor that and go back if i have to. She doesn't suspect gallbladder problems though.
Hurdity, the female cancers were breast cancer in my sister at age 29 (she thankfully recovered) and ovarian cancer in my nan in her old age. I did talk to Hubby yesterday and we both looked at HRT differently having read these posts and realised it might well be a good idea to try it to protect me for later on.
I do wish there were menopause specialists out there that you could make an appointment to go and see rather than going through the gp all the time as some of them do tend to dismiss it as something we can just all breeze through don't they.
Thanks again for taking the time to read and reply everyone. I will try to visit some other boards on here and read up to see what I can learn. I'm hoping that my mind will be put at rest and I can stop panicking that I have every illness going every time I spot a new symptom. The worry alone is exhausting! Have I really got 15 years of this?!!