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[two_sore_feet]

Thanks girls

I was being factual, he actually is like that, and does say those things, lol (and worse).

I have frequently told him I'm not his punchbag, and he has managed to calm his temper A LOT over the years.  Thanks to this Govt, I no longer have the option of leaving him: he is now my employer as well as my other half, because the Govt has taken away my benefits, and so I would be unable to get rehoused (I have looked into it, believe me).

He's not always so bad, if he was I would have left him before now.  His dad was the same (50s mentality, Man of the House, Wife In The Kitchen and all that), and it's particular to this part of the UK too (a bit backward, a bit old fashioned, for example people with non-white skins are considered unusual.  I know!).

[viv]

What part of the country are you in TSF.

Would it be Scotland?

Honeyb
x

[Oldteen]

Believe it or not, I've been on this forum for what, two years I believe, and have only just read the "symptoms" list at the beginning of this thread.  Gosh I really wasn't aware that meno could produce such a variety of ailments!

I'd like to add:

Anger at ageing and loss of youth, and at the way the years have flashed by. ( I'm sure men experience that too) and,
Increase in libido. This may not be seen as a problem but it is when your partner's is on the wane. I have a suspicion that I've never experienced a full-blown orgasm and I'd like to just once before I die please!

I don't have a printer so may have to toddle off to the library to print that list.

[Taz2]

A full blown orgasm doesn't need a partner Batty - you can achieve the most wonderful ones all alone....

Taz x 

[Oldteen]

So I believe! Haven't managed it yet. I think I'm either too inhibited, not doing it right, or lack the necessary nerves or hormones! The only time I thought I was getting there I developed a massive headache so had to stop.

Anyway, I've taken this thread off-topic, for which I apologise, but, though I know other ladies on here do feel the same as me, the consensus of opinion amongst the medical experts seems to be that most menopausal women lose their libido, and I'd like to see some acknowledgement of the opposite problem. And yes, it is a problem when it occupies your thoughts so much and you can't achieve release/satisfaction.

Still, I've been a late starter all my life...

[two_sore_feet]

What part of the country are you in TSF.

Would it be Scotland?

  No, but you're not far off

[pixigirl]

As a newbie. i have only just read  this and found it oh so good,imformative for me too as the docs dont have the time to explain all those different symptoms that can occur and leave you feeling ever so slightly loopy. This forum is such a lifeline at a time when we are all feeling lost and alone even when we have an understanding hubby.Only the ones going through it themselves can really understand.

[jax]

what a find!..... this morning I forgot to take something with us...which sent my hubby into a fit. upon hearing the words " its like talking to a plank these days and its time you framed yourself" the tears came flooding....I tried explaining that I know I am forgetful but cant help it, I feel like my head is in a plastic bag on a shelf......
Of course, once he calmed down he was sorry but doubtful that forgetting things had anything to do with my new problem.
I remembered seeing this advice for husbands yesterday and so this evening I printed it for him.....
i think this is some of the best "help" I have seen so far..... great idea.
thanks a lot;
Jacky

[Bette]

 
Bette x

[viv]

After you printed it out Jax I hope you hit him with it.

Men can be so insensitive sometimes and the ability to think that they are perfect.

Oooo that made me mad, I hope he reads the list and is more understanding in future.

 

Honeyb
x

[jax]

not gonna turn this thread into my own daily moan but you eill love this one...
He hasnt read his "notes" yet and today we were talking about things and he said he has it worked out why I am walking round in a daze.....wait for it.....
its because Iam too preoccupied with my problems and if I paid more attention to what i was doing I wouldnt forget things......
befor I burst into tears again I said you are lucky i feel weepy and not angry today!.....but....maybe he has a pont eh??
jax

[jax]

I am sorry Jax, but I don't like your husband

and your final point makes me sad 

at this moment neither do I!.......as for him having a point, yes your right, after reading this forum and knowing how i feel he doesnt have a point at all.....are we allowed to swear at husbamds on here? lol.....
This morning I was really pleased that I remembered to read my list the previous night reminding me to put washer on.....then realised today it was still in there.....lol

[viv]

Have you actually sat down and explained to him what is happening to you. Its hard enough coping with meno without someone trying to make you feel stupid and small.

My OH is not perfect but he does try. He gets it wrong and he knows he does, but he supports me when I need it. I am not very good at sharing my health woes with anyone and I hide a lot because I always think that no one wants to hear me moan all the time. I have learned however he is not a mind reader, and if I want help I am going to have to ask on occasions.

Some men need things pointed out to them in simple terms because they dont pick up on feelings.

I would sit him down and tell him....then hit him if he says anything like that again.

Honeyb
x 

[san]

Men are from Mars ...

They just don't get it because their tiny brains are preoccupied with things like football, cricket, golf ..... 

TBH mine is quite good and I think he's been doing a bit of on line research to see if his wife is crazy !
But then researching things on line is one of the things that occupies his brain 

[Oldteen]

I'm sorry to hear that your husband is so insensitive Jax.

I'm like Honeybun in that I try my best to hide my feelings, from my husband most of all. I've had an easy ride so far, but if I'm feeling "off" my husband  can tell and just tiptoes around me! I've never discussed the meno with him other than "Hooray! No more periods!" and that I have to use lubrication now.

I've been extremely tired this week as I've been working more than double my usual hours, and will do next week as well, so he is making allowances for me.