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[Rowan]

Honeybun that was how I reacted after just one Citalopram, I never took another one, I expect others may say that you will feel worse before you feel better and that maybe true.

I have been reading and following your posts about your anxiety and problems with your mum and it struck me when you said you were at your wits end and seeing your doctor about ADs, that it was such a shame that it was you who felt you needed something  help cope with all the caring when it was the problems with your mum that have caused all your anxieties, (I hope I have this right) and not your brain chemistry that was at fault.

Maybe having a good cry would help it can be very healing (taking ADs might stop you being able to cry). 

Only you can decide if you want to continue with Citalopram, I think this is the first drug of its type to be offered and there maybe others that don't make you feel so bad at first( I do remember that I felt as if my brain had taken over and was in a vice and feeling so sick) I was just not prepared to feel like that, it might have passed, but I decided to kicked the Citalopram into touch and was glad I did.

I hope you do find an answer Honeybun whether its ADs or not, you did ask "What else is there for me) well you do have your strength of mind and maybe a change of how you deal with things and that is mainly your mother and her hold over you ( maybe your mum should be taking the ADs!) only joking, but I do feel you have got into a cycle of a sense of duty, and anger of what its doing to you and your own life.

Wish I could help more x

[honeybun]

I will take one more tonight and see how it goes. I can cope with most things but the sickness.....Yes I have been sick, and it just knocks me for six.

I know the dose is small but I have always been sensitive to medication and I am only small myself.

Silverlady....sounds like we had the same reaction. The first thought is to throw them in the bin but I have been struggling for a year now and my world is slowly shrinking. Yes my mother is one of my main causes of anxiety but there is really nothing I can do about her behaviour. I do get paid for doing her stuff and yes I would miss the money, but I would still have to go and visit with her three or four times a week and would end up doing the same stuff. It's very difficult and I know that CLKD will come along and tell me I just need to say no but it's not that easy. My hubby has health problems and I worry about him too.

Silverlady what did use instead of ADs...Hope you don't mind me asking.

I have got myself in a mess and at the moment just can't see a way out or forward. I have always been a perfectionist and I don't think that helps as I think I should be able to cope.

Just don't know what to do.

Honeyb
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Everyones mum...How do you cope with your anxiety. I have never been depressed...Fed up yes and down but not depressed. You are right until you have to deal with a difficult and hateful parent you just don't get how hard it is.

Thanks everyone....What would I do without you all.

[Joyce]

Sorry to hear you reacted to the tablets HB. Hate feeling/being sick it's so draining.  Wish I could suggest something to help with the sickness, apart from the usual - ginger, peppermint. 

[Rowan]

Honeybun my anxiety was a health anxiety, my mother and father died within three weeks of one another, my mother had a severe stroke a few weeks before Xmas, my father took his life Christmas eve, my mother had another stroke three weeks later and died, just when she was desperately trying to recover from the first stroke and was up and walking, all this will haunt me for the rest of my life, we all coped with this and it was only when I had severe complications from an operation six years ago that post traumatic stress set in with panic attacks and anxiety. 

I have got over it now without ADs but zopiclone helped with sleep for a long while. I just researched all I could about it and bought the "The Charles Linden Method" and read the Dr Claire Weekes books. I had a few A&E visits but really the only person who could help was me, its taken a few years, but touch wood I think I am myself again.

Tried Hypnotherapy, a waste of time for me, talking with my doctor helped and some counselling, I still have problems in my life, but that horrible fear and anxiety has been tamed without ADs. I don't think now that every sensation in my body is signalling a stroke or my demise, its my OHs health that is the worry for me now and I do get fed up because he is so much older and then I feel guilty, so I do understand the caring and the conflict of feelings it causes. x

I also understand the "perfectionist" problem and I have had to let that go a bit.

[Rowan]

So agree with everyones mum about the "What if she dies" and the walking therapy, I have had to curb this lately because of my lower back problems, but walking is the best thing for anxiety that there is, I often thought I walked my way through menopause too. My walk to is lined with trees and greenery "a cycle path through cleared woods" nature is the best therapy there is.

You have to retrain the "old brain" the flight or flight mechanism that causes the anxiety and the adrenalin which cause the feelings and sensations , its called diversion therapy, doing anything that takes your mind off the anxiety and worry.

[littleminnie]

The problem with with walking theory is that if being out of the house makes you anxious, walking wouldn't really work. I think if you can tolerate the AD, let them do their job until you get on an even keel then find other ways to cope naturally.

[Limpy]

Honeybun hope you get on better with tonights dose.
It will take a while to settle down.

Whatever you do, don't flog yourself to pieces, trying to reason with your mother.
Stay away for a while to allow your strength to build up again, while you get used to the drug.
As the others have said, don't tell her the full reason why you can't come.

[lesley998]

Oh dear, I was so hoping you got on ok with it

Perhaps you could have a chat with the doc about the sick thing, and try one of the others?  Prozac?  Mirtazipine?  My 85 year old Mum went on Mirtazipine when she had a nervous breakdown when Dad got Alzheimers (gawd, what a lot we all are eh)  and she is a tiny wee thing, she had no problems at all and she is much better now. Helps her sleep too.
Goold luck x

[CLKD]

I stopped the moment a medication made me feel queasy.  Fortunately there are plenty out there to try.  I know that my nausea was nothing to do with anxiety but the effect of the drug.  Even though I didn't read anhy of the possible side-effects before taking them.  I had to stop otherwise i would have been under a bus 

See how the next tablet is if you can face taking it.  Otherwise go back to the GP.  I can't remember whether you have tried a beta-blocka for anxiety?  It works for me.  Some people find it hypes them up - total opposite to what they require 

Get a Valium down you too.  As for helping your Mum, well you know my feelings.  She won't die overnight if you and your sister back off.  She will moan a lot  ........ but you can ONLY care for another person if you are healthy yourself! 

[Hurdity]

This is a bit of a change of tack - but honeybun you did say if AD's don't suit what else is there for me, and a while back I did suggest about changing the HRT you are on but you didn't comment so I am suggesting it again in case it helps.

If I remember rightly you are on conti HRT which is Evorel? Apologies if you've changed and I can;t remember - if so ignore this post. However you are on continuous progestogen of a type that can cause anxiety - many women do not get on with norethisterone. You said you weren't depressed before - not sure when "before" was but maybe worth thinking about. I know that a lot of it from what you say is to do with your mother, but maybe the progestogen (synthetic) is exacerbating the problem and making you less able to cope with, and more anxious about your difficult situation.

You could change back to a cyclical HRT ( and you might still have a bleed if you are early peri) or to Utrogestan either cyclically or continuously - which may make you a bit more sleepy ( but less anxious) - or even Femseven ( although that is still synthetic).

Personally I would try that (change of HRT progestogen) before committing to ADs because until you do so you cannot be sure it isn't that making the problem worse.

And like everyone's mum - I agree that walking is the one of the best medicines.

Hurdity x

[honeybun]

Hurdity.

I have been sitting thinking the same thing. My problems did begin when I went onto conti HRT so perhaps what you say is very valid.

I think I will put on another appointment with my GP.

My only concern is that I did try coming off HRT at the beginning of the year. I managed a month and did not find my anxiety improved much. Would the conti still have been in my system after that amount of time.

Not moved from the chair today and still have a thumping headache despite paracetamol.

Honeyb
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[Joyce]

HB suddenly remembered something for nausea. It's Buccastem. It's recommended for migraine sufferers. You can buy over counter at chemist. I was told to say it was for nausea associated with migraines, as some chemists are a bit wary of giving it. You let it dissolve between lip and teeth. Not very pleasant to taste, but not the worst thing. It's slightly bitter.

[CLKD]

Honeybun - did you say you had been sick since taking the tablet?

[Elena]

Yes she did CLKD.

Just googled Buccastem, not surprised chemists are wary to give it out.  Scary side effects and lots of contra-indications...

HB hope tonight is better but if not then it does seem a good idea to get the HRT sorted out ASAP.

[honeybun]

Well I have had a rotten day. Felt so unwell and just not able to give myself a shake. Could not even eat any dinner. I have had one slice of toast the whole day.
I am not taking anymore. I just can't cope with feeling like this. I will go back to my GP and talk things through but these are not for me.
I know they work well for others but oh dear not me.

Honeyb
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